15 minutes

I got home from dropping my husband off at work, pulled in the garage and shut off the car. What's that I hear? Light baby snores from three little bodies in the back of my car! Yipee! Mommy gets a moment! I get 15 minutes, or until I open my car door and start shuffling my littles into the house, ALL TO MYSELF! Yes, I'm in a car. Yes, I could be doing something in my house. But, honestly I would rather just take my moment and listen to my babies and catch up on "adult" conversation on texts and Facebook...I know that could be an oxymoron, but I do try to keep it PG, sometimes PG13. Mommies need moments to ourselves. It's not just Naptime that we can do that. Have your coffee by yourself standing next to the sink...15min. Sit at the table and play a game of solitare while your kids are playing with their toys...15 minutes. We are not made to be energizer bunnies, we are not made to entertain our children all the time, we are not made to carry the weight of the entire household on our shoulders for long periods of time. Do we try? YES. Is it really what we should do? NO! Take 15 minutes here and there, you really do need it.

Enemies or Friends?

The parts of married life that nobody cares to talk about. The really hard parts! Things that make you say and do things that you never dreamed you would. Some days you wonder if you have made your spouse your enemy or if you are even friends at this point.

Everything comes in seasons. Nothing stays the same, and you both will change and make mistakes along the way.

What worked for your friends won't necessarily work for you when you disagree, and the idea that you "never go to bed angry" is really a challenge from seasoned marriages, and not just cliche marital advice.

My husband and I had a wonderful day today! Probably the best in a while. No, we don't fight every day, but as I have admitted before I have mornings where I feel like he takes the things I do for granted.

Today at 3am, our oldest son decided he was ready to face the day. And anticipating the current routine, I went to get up feeling slightly miffed. My husband put his hand on my shoulder and told me to lay back down and go to sleep. He said that he would stay up with him and let me sleep until I was ready to get up and then take a nap before work....It's these things that make me love this man even more.

I actually got to sleep until 7. It was fabulous! And when I headed out to the livingroom my husand had breakfast started and a smile on his face. This is defiantly how I wish the mornings would go.

 No grumps or gripes, no hurt feelings, no animosity. He took his nap, and right before he was going to get ready for work he used one of his own parables to describe what his intentions for today were...He said that steel can withstand almost any force, but if you bend it enough it will crack. He said he didn't want to be so rigid anymore in the things that he wanted, that he ended up making me crack. HOW SWEET!

If you knew my husband you would think this was funny. He likes to use mechanical/industrial things for object lessons or compares them to thing so that you can get an idea of how they work or should work...He's goofy.

I am so glad that our prayers are being heard. We are trying to work as a team, and this is a step in a great direction! And as God would have it, the Facebook page of a book Called 'The Respect Dare' that I think I am being nudged to read, this was on my newsfeed shortly after the talk with my husband today...

Begin your repairs ladies and gentlemen! You can't build a house and expect it to stay together forever. Something always needs work, and if you own a home you know that some fixes are easy and some are hard, some increase the value and others are maintenance, but they are all needed...Hehe, my husband would be proud I used examples similar to what he would have.

3rd

As a military wife I am well aware of the things that I "give up"....Familiar places and people, time with my husband, most of my own goals are put on hold,  and the ability to have a normal 9-5 life.

My husband works a swing shift. We have to be home at 1pm every day for him to get ready to be our the door by 2pm....and then me and the babies are stuck at home, until he gets home in the wee hours. And I don't think that it's unfair for me to say that I really don't like this shift.

I have military funding for school, but I can't find anyone to watch the kids in this state, so I have to go stay with family so that I know that our babies will be taken care of....And now, even that has become a challenge.

I am always in second place when it comes to my husband....well, at least I should be! But, in most cases my line number is 3! God, the military, and me.

He never has to think out how it's going to work out for him to go to work or school...I'm home. He never has to ask me if he can take the car for the day...he takes it nearly every day. He doesn't have to make appointments for the 4 of us so that they work with this limited schedule, and I don't have to take all the kids by myself. And he has never had to take care of all of the kids by himself with food poisoning during late pregnancy.

He's never 3rd! And this is because I love him, and I know how this lifestyle goes by now....but I don't have to like it every day.

I don't have to like recalls at 3am and the mad dash to go into work just so that they can tell him "it was just a test, go home".

I don't have to like waking up at 4 or 5 because our oldest is up and my husband got home at midnight and is "too tired". I have Hashimoto's disease, I am ALWAYS tired!

I don't have to like swing shift.

I don't have to like that I am over 1000 miles away from any family at all, with very few people who I can count on.

I don't have to like tornado season, or the fact that my "storm shelter" (hall closet) makes my claustrophobic self shudder at the thought of getting in there with my babies alone. Fearing that if a tornado did take my house that I might not be able to hold all of my kids, and then they would be gone, like a woman here a year ago.

I don't have to like that my dreams are so far off that even thinking about them makes me cry sometimes.

So, I guess my post today is to the Active duty, guard, and reserve husbands/spouses...

Look at your spouse the next time you feel that they don't "understand" you and see all that they do BECAUSE they understand you! It's not true what your superiors say, we didn't volunteer for this. We fell in love with you, NOT your career! It would be easier to dislike you than it is to love you, but we love you anyway...even when we are 3rd and not 2nd. Even when duty is greater than anything else at that time.

Don't take for granted that there are sacrifices we make that you will never even see, or experience, at any time during your marriage.

We aren't the "silent ranks". We have voices, and sometimes we need to be given the freedom to dream of a time when we will be 2nd and not 3rd. It doens't mean that we don't appreciate what you do, or that we are mocking your duty....we just long to feel supported in return someday.

The Fear

I have a loving, patient, kind, handsome, and quirky husband. Our days are not always good, we dont always think very highly of the other, and there are things we would probably like the other to see fit to change about their behavior...but we have a covenant.

Have I ever thought of leaving, yes. Have I ever wanted our marriage to end, NO!

In the age we live in, we are shown that when the "going gets tough, the tough get going." And generally it is straight to the divorce lawyer.

We are justified by those who tell us that life is too short to be unhappy, or that we deserve better than.....

Let me tell you what I have learned in my own marriage. Life is too short to marry someone you can't argue with, and get over it.

Even in this season of hope and joy, I am seeing the hands of destruction come down on the lives of those around me. I am not exempt from such mayhem, and am trying to keep my faith, in spite of the fear.

Do me a favor. Hug your spouse today, wether you want to or not. Kiss them today, wether you want to or not. And love them today as if you aren't afraid. Fear is miracle grow for insecurity and doubt, but faith is what will see you through.

I'm making a Build!

Tonight my oldest spent his post dinner time "making a build" as he put it.  His three year old vocabulary likes to leave out those very descriptive "ing" parts.

Red, blue, green, yellow. 1 knob, two knobs, 4 knobs. build them up, and take them down. Group them by number, and group them by whatever pattern he chose. Oops! They would Fall and he'd catch one. and the others would tumble.

Some days I feel like those blocks...

Classified by the way I look, act, feel, and the things I say. Built up, and torn down. Put into place without rhyme or reason. Falling, but only a piece of myself is caught before the others just disappear.

I know that God has already written my story. I know that his plans are perfect. I know that I don't have to "understand" everything....and I need to remind myself of this, and not just my husband...I know that I am constantly being molded into the person he wants me to be. He is making a "Build" for his glory and purpose.

I am trying...and I imagine that the trying was my first mistake...to handle things, but they keep getting more tangled.

I am worried...and as someone put it at church, worry means you don't trust that God is working fast enough...that things won't ever feel right again.

I am tired...which I imagine is exactly what God's purpose was, because if I'm too tired to worry or "try" then he has the reigns...yep, I'm just tired!

In the season of thanksgiving...I am tired, and I am watching and waiting while God makes a BUILD!

To Nickname, or not to Nickname...

I never had an offical "nickname" as a child. I got called by my twin sister's name, or "twin", anad "half dime" or "Nickle" by my papaw. But, nothing that could be deemed a consistent nickname. I guess I'm just plain Nicole!

But, as my children are growing, I am starting to call them things in my head. No, nothing mean. Just little things that describe their personality and remind me of them.

My oldest is my Fire Cracker! He's 3, and 46 lbs and 45in of pure activity! He has a bit of a temper, and is the king of throwing himself on the floor and using all of his 46 lbs to his advantage. When he stops you STOP!

My middle, and second, son is my Sassy Pants. Yes, sassy pants, meaning that he back talks more and far earlier than his brother ever did. If I say "no", he screams it back at me. If I don't let him have that pen he found in his daddy's uniform pocket, you would think that I had hurt him. If he doesn't want it, he throws it!

My daughter is our Pepper! This one is part family decided because of her middle name which sounds like "cayenne", and other part current personality. At 6 mo old she can go from sweet to spicy in no time! You know, sugar and spice and everything nice? Heavy on the spice part! I guess we know what our little girl is made of.

Someone told me that she just loves budding personalities. I have to admit that I love them too. Not only becuase they are my babies, but because I am seeing things that make them different. And these little names that I call them in my head, may become their nicknames very soon.

 My babies have spirit.....yes they do.....my babies have spirit..... how bout you?

From Pumpkin Guts, to New Beef Cuts

As, you can see my quick trip to the Commisary today scored me and my family some of the first pumpkins of the season! Fall is absolutely my favorite season! I love the colors, smells, and the produce.

Pumpkin. What a wonderful vegetable, and with a 6mo old in our house who is being introduced to all kinds of veggie purees, this gives me an excuse to snag them and cook them up. Although my husband won't complain, as he reaps the benefits of these little beauties too.

I'm so glad we ran on base today!

One perk of the commisary is that meat is a good price, but today I decided to check the reduced meat section. I found a cut of meat that I have never seen, or cooked before....Beef Cheek! Yes, I realize that cows have cheeks, but I didn't stop to think that is was something that you could ask the butcher for.

All my searching came up with one...only ONE...cooking option, Braised. This is fine, as my knowledge of braising meat is quite limited, so I may as well learn it on this. My husband is actually reall intrigued by it, and seemed to think that it's going to be a wonderful experiment....I guess, here goes nothing!