She makes a point in several of her email encouragements throughout the day/ week, to mention our problem with "perfection" being the root of our mess making ways and getting so overwhelmed. I didn't really dwell on that point until last night. I had been keeping things caught up and I had let myself fall into my habit of filling the sink and not washing as I went. By the time my husband got home from college it was FULL and my anxiety level was starting to get high. My very least favorite thing to do in my home is dishes and my husband has been kind enough to acknowledge this and work with it...meaning I cook and he does the dishes when he comes home, but my goal is for this not to happen anymore. He was busy when he got home, and then he had homework and reading to do, but I could feel myself getting angry that he didn't drop what he was doing and do the dishes for me. I stopped myself right there! Perfectionism, this is exactly when it finally dawned on me what she meant.
Perfectionism keeps us from fully engaging in relationships, trying new things, and embracing the unknown parts of life. It causes us to be disappointed in our new job after only a week, because the honeymoon has worn off and now it's officially become work. It keeps us from praising our kids when they make one good choice during a really hard day of bad decisions. It keeps us from seeing our husband as the man we married, instead of "just like every other guy", after a few years. It is a damaging force that we allow to give us a critical spirit.
"I'm not a perfectionist." You may not be a true perfectionist, but everyone wants something to work the "right" way for them. It could be that you want your kids to be more like so-and-so's. You have a spouse who takes a lot of patience on your part, and you feel like you are always the one carrying the load. Guess what? This world is not perfect. Brilliant, right?
Give yourself, your spouse, your kids, and the world in general a little bit of room for imperfection. Stop planning responses before you can even do them. Stop giving yourself a license to be disappointed in so many things, and begin to see the blessings.
I have been happier, and my family has been too, while I have been following my own advice. I still have a ways to go to have my household nailed down but I am taking it an inch at a time, and I think that is how we handle imperfection...an inch at a time, to keep our expectation from taking over. I saw this quote, and though I am not familiar with the author I really like it.
