What to do with me?

From the first months of our marriage my husband has been a "fix-it". He feels that any unhappiness or problem must be fixed, by him of course. There are several ways that he does this...

1. He calls my mom....he usually calls her if I'm crying, or if he really believes that she would agree with him. I guess everyone needs a wingman :-).

2. He brings home "treats"....this is his way of apologising. When I was pregnant he would bring home diet Pepsi and zebra cakes (they were my cravings).

Whatever the "problem" he's right there. Trying to find a way to make things better. Sometimes he can, and sometimes he can't, but at least he tries.

Thank you handsome man!

Sleeping Beauty

My husband was asleep on the loveseat and I woke him...or thought i did...and told him we needed to get ready for church. Hr fell asleep again, so I woke him. He stood up, followed me into the kitchen and here's what happened....

Hubby: "gotta get up or I will fall back to sleep"

Me:"ok"

Hubby: kisses me and says," or maybe I just needed a kiss from my beautiful wife....I'm sleeping beauty."

Me: "does that make me the prince?"

Hubby:"YES!"

Oh how he makes me laugh some days :-)

Ttyl,
"the prince"....for today

Wedding stress

It's "wedding season"...no I'm not a crasher ;-), but I do notice when it comes around. I guess I wasn't the traditional June bride...we got married in November! We picked that day because it didn't "belong" to anyone we knew. No birthdays or anniversaries that day.

Our engagement was 11 months...and my mom swore none of my sisters would have that long of an engagement ever again! She was stressed, but I don't remember being stressed much. I'm sure she will correct me after she reads this today.

I planned it, and my husband gave me a couple things that he wanted. I never had the "I'm the bride" mentality. When I was given a better suggestion I went with it...like when my bridesmaids asked to wear a dress that was more comfortable for them. I tried to make it as simple as possible...and the mist expensive thing was the dress.

My cousins made a wonderful cake...and the design was their suprise for us, and it was our gift from them.

My advice for a bride-to-be is...RELAX! Make your plans flexible...go with the flow. It's the first day of the rest of your "new" life. It's not going to make your future any better for you to spend thousands, or to be. "bridezilla". Simple can be grand, and nobody is going to remember the center pieces or your bouquet...they will just be too busy congratulating you to care.

Every wedding has its quirks and kinks, but at the end of that day you will be a "mrs", even if something doesn't go as planned!

Enjoy the planning, enjoy the day, let everything else roll off if it won't matter in 20 years! Happy planning brides and grooms!

Liberated?

I saw a video of a five year old girl on the news today. Ordinarily this would be cute except for what she was saying.

Someone had obviously coached this little girl into the "liberated" modern woman mindset. It's so sad! This little girl was saying," I WON'T GET MARRIED UNTIL I HAVE A JOB, AND IF THIS GUY WON'T CARE ABOUT THAT, THEN I'LL JUST FIND ANOTHER ONE!" Can you just hear the venom in her voice? Someone so young shouldn't be saying things like this.

Yes, I had a job before I got married, but we both knew that was going to change after. I felt, and so did my husband, that if we could afford to be a one income household then we would be. Thankfully we are not "stuff people", and we manage our money together, so we are able to be.

I have been criticized for feeling that my place was at home, but I am content with our "antiquated" roles. I truly enjoy being the housewife, and my husband feels that he is doing his job as a provider. And when you are both fulfilled in your work and lifestyle...its all good!. If I wanted a job he wouldn't mind, but I have other priorities...like three handsome men! They need me right where I am! I don't feel repressed, or like I've lost my Independance. I am, as one military wife put it, a "domestic queen"....and I love my kingdom!

I pray this little girl can get past the coaching she has ,obviously, been given and make her own decision. And I also hope that you all find your niche...even if its behind your own front door!

FFS-Whats mine is yours

Our little man wasn't an "only child" very long. Some have said that it wasn't long enough, but I feel that it was just right. And, this story seems to prove my point.

Our baby man was very upset, and I couldn't get to him. So, our little man took his binkie out of his mouth and tried to stick it in baby man's mouth. Now, mind you, little man is only 18 months old, and LOVES his binkie! Then, he tried to make the swing rock for baby man by pushing it....HOW CUTE IS THAT?

I am constantly amazed by how our boys react to eachother. This type of acceptance is thought of as rare, and astonishing, for babies so young. I just think that our oldest was meant to be a nurturer and he's taking his cues of how to treat his brother from me and my hubby, and how we treat him.

I know that our next baby may get a much different reception from its brothers, but I hope that our little man teaches our baby man well on how to be an awesome, and loving, big brother!

Old Fashioned Me

Ok, I guess I'm a bit of a closet hillbilly. I love the idea of living in the middle of nowhere, and being self sufficient. My husband thinks that a little shine would fit in there somewhere ;-)...for bio diesel of course!

I want to have a big garden. Big enough that I can fill my cupboards in pantry with things I put up myself. I want to have chickens (this may be the first part of my "coming out party" because we can have chickens here). I love the idea of having a cow too...but that would be much farther in the future.

My husband is right there with my in my wanting to do things for ourselves.

I'm so glad he and I were made for eachother!

The smallest of accomplishments

Today is a day of firsts. Our oldest finally said "hi" to someone on the phone...we've been trying to get him to say ANYTHING, but usually all we get is some mouth breathing, Haha.

Our youngest got his first round of vaccinations.

When our kids are young every first is treasured. And in some way, wether a good first or bad, we hold ourselves responsible for it happening. These mean the most because our kids are ours to teach and protect...and voila! We now have proof of both sitting right in our laps.

So, here's to first teeth, smiles, giggles, steps, boo-boos, and ER visits. These are the smallest, but greatest accomplishments of their life...and probably yours, if you are like me and have been waiting to be a mom but spent a lot of time teaching other peoples babies. Celebrate these things, they only come by once in a while...maybe not the ER visit, unless you give them ice cream afterwards, like me.

Thankful

I am ashamed to admit that I haven't been as thankful as I should be. Not long ago I could be heard in the car, or on the phone with my mom, saying,"thank you Jesus!" for whatever blessing we had been given. I just caught on that I haven't been doing that, and guess what?...I've been grumpy, argumentative, and frustrated! If you think they aren't related...they are!

I read a book once; a biography of a woman named Cori Ten Boom. She was Jewish, and she and her sister never married. They were taken to a concentration camp in WW2, and they were the Christian leaders in the camp for the women. They held bible studies, with a contraband bible, tended the sick with a bottle of medicine that never ran dry the whole time they were in there. And one thing that stuck with me was that she said," THANK GOD FOR THE FLEAS". She was thankful for a flea infested room, where she and the rest of the women stayed, because it kept the guards from coming in unless the HAD to. This gave her and her sister a chance to talk to the women freely about God.

I took this on as my "moto", and I have tried to be thankful in spite of the circumstances. My husband has been my partner in this endeavor, and he said he had noticed that we hadn't been as thankful.

So, let's all try this..,"THANK YOU FOR..." Fill in the blank, do it often, do it for things that you think aren't worthy of thanks...like getting a parking spot close to the building...Do it every day!

Thank you husband, kids, everyone. See how this changes your own attitude.

All roads lead to home..

I grew up in Montana, with the annual trip to Oregon to visit our dad. I never expected to leave the northwest, but that was going to change.

In 2006 I became a Nanny, and moved to Maryland. Little did I know that my future husband, a mere month before I left Montana, had been stationed in Washington state...in the same town where my brother lived! Now, in a town that big, even if I had visited, we probably would not have met. Then, he got stationed in Oklahoma.

Where I was living from '06-'08 was not more than a couple hours drive from where my husband's dad and the rest of his family lived.

I believe that God's plan for our lives is perfect. I believe that if you aren't ready for the next part of His plan that he will make it wait until you are....my husband always says," I wish we had met when I was in Washington," or,"I wish we had met when I was in the east for Christmas in '06-'08." There were, obviously, tiny pieces of the puzzle missing but the outcome was meant to be!

We "circled" eachother for two years...but all our roads led right where they were meant to; eachother, HOME!

I had to wait 20 years to find my match. Take your time, be patient! I know that it feels like it may never happen, but it will!

Knowing what you need to

Ok military spouses I'm confused. How come so many of you don't know what squadron your spouse is in, or the job that he does?

I must be really nosy because I have known both of those since we were dating! I've gone to two spouse events since I got married, and both times the question of what our husbands do came up. I was completely shocked!

My aunt is a retired navy wife, and when I was engaged I remember her telling my mom to make sure that I KNEW what I needed to. How to read an LES, how to contact my husband, etc...and as soon as I could, I did. There was no way that I was going to wait for "permission" to know things...if I needed it, I found it out.

If you are new to being a military spouse, or don't have this type of information...GO GET IT! Take the spouse classes, attend briefings, ask questions. Doing these things makes it easier when your spouse is not home to navigate the waters for you.

When my husband was gone and I needed help, I called his squadron...you are their "responsibility" when he/she isn't home. They will mow your lawn, handle finance issues with you, and if you believe that you are about to have a meltdown...they will get you a tiny break from being the sole caregiver for you kids and get you a couple hours of babysitting.

Please don't be afraid to be your own advocate!

Spouse Club

We've been at this base for 2 1/2 years and last night was the first time I went to the spouses club meeting. I had no idea that they offered free childcare, or I would have gone when my husband was in tech school for 3 months!

I guess another reason I didn't go is because I have a hard time making, and keeping, friends. I had the same friends for a LONG time back in Montana and making new ones wasn't a skill that I had to exercise. Being here I've had to, but the process is very slow.

I have a couple people I would consider friends here, but they are all busy, or live across town. I'm used to being the type of friend who could drop in whenever, but I guess that comes in time.

So, with this new leap into the military wife world...here's to new friends ( I hope)!

Moms list

There's an unwritten list of duties for moms. Wether you work or not, there are things that are yours to complete. In my experience these things are: cooking (unless your husband is a chef, or you can burn water), cleaning, first aid, chaffeur, maid, doctor, teacher, and many more.

Somewhere under all these hats you wear is YOU. Sometimes YOU feel like you've been overlooked. No, its not just your husband, or your kids, it can also be friends and extended family too.

That's how I'm feeling today, lost in the hats. Overlooked by the people that mean the most to me.

I love being so needed by my men, but sometimes I need some taking care of too. Like the other day, I was sick, and its the first time in our marriage that asked my husband to stay home so that I could rest. It was not to be, I was deemed "not important enough" for my husband to stay home for, by his supervisor.

I know that almost all would say, "that's just the military", but after almost three years as a military wife I don't buy that excuse anymore. From what I've seen, the military makes things happen when they WANT to.

My Valentine

Valentine's day never used to be very special to me. TROPHY DAY- the girls at school, most too young for "love", would cart their bouquets and balloons up and down the hallways all day. Each one was trying to out do the other with their "proof" that their boyfriend cared more for them...we know now, or I hope we do, that its not the size of the bouquet It's the little things that matter more. I, thankfully, never had to partake in this contest because I made it through highschool without a kiss or a boyfriend! Yep, my husband is my first kiss, my first boyfriend, EVERYTHING!

My Valentine's days are special because that is the day my hubby was born! I asked him once what his best birthday was, when we were dating, and he said he didn't have one. I guess selfishness reigns supreme, and he never really felt like people wanted to celebrate him...they just wanted to celebrate them. Since then I have made his birthday HIS DAY. We can make a "valentine's day" anytime we want.

In the 4 Valentine's days together he has gotten me one card...but that isn't a problem! This is the day my husband was born, and I want him to know that I'm so thankful God made him for me...MY VALENTINE!....(he says for 100 years, but we shall see) so today we celebrate his 26th year. Happy birthday my love!

why is this so funny?

I am watching the news this morning, and I am saddened by a comment made by the weather girl. I usually ignore the comments, but this time I couldn't.

She was complaining about the cold weather, and said," if I was married to Oklahoma I would divorce it today because I don't like the cold!"...HOW STUPID! What bothers me most is that all the anchors started laughing and agreeing with her. Why is divorce a funny subject? We live in a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce, guess what..that us not something to be proud of!

It's obvious that the same disregard of the seriousness of this word, and the seriousness of the vows you take when you get married have been lost on us somewhere.

Divorce is not a joke, or something that should be treated lightly. And as a child of divorced parents, I can say that it is never "simple" or "easy" or "painless". Someone always loses! Please start winning, and make your marriages work, they can't flourish without you being "all in"!

You talk, you argue, you laugh, you hug and kiss, and you start all over again. It's never "perfect" but its YOURS! Cherish it, work for it, it can't survive without you!

The Link

I left Montana at 19 to go be a nanny in Maryland. This was the first time I had left home on my own, and it was also the farthest I had ever been. Leaving behind all of my family, and friends, and my identical twin sister.

We have shared everything; rooms, bed, clothes, shoes, and everything else. Now, we had to find our way by ourselves. Though difficult, I think it was good for us. And as luck would have it, we found both of our husbands while we were apart, and got married about 1 year apart.

I got married in 2008, and her in 2009. I moved to okieville and she moved to another place in MT.

We have paralelled eachother in almost every place in our lives, and usually only by chance. But, one thing has gotten stronger the longer we've been apart...what some refer to as the "link".

This link is joked about, and marveled at by those who have never been a twin. You have no idea how many times we were asked if we had esp. Now, I don't believe the link is any kind of esp. But, I do know that it exists. When in Maryland she knew when I was upset. Now, we have even more of a physical link...pregnancy brought this side of it out.

When I was pregnant with our first son, she was queasy during my morning sickness period. When I went into labor with him she got crampy and kept calling our mom to see if he was here yet. Then, we were both pregnant! Six weeks apart to the day, the only difference was that she was having a girl and I was having another boy. We both had our own morning sickness this time, but when she started having contractions at 35 weeks...I had my first braxton-hicks. I had a couple with our first boy, but NOTHING like this! And the day she went into labor, oh man, they were strong.

Now, both babies are here, born exactly 6 weeks apart even though she was induced. My water broke the day her baby was 6 weeks, and I had him that night.

We both nurse our babies. I did with our first too, but never had any problems. Now, I got mastitis and within 2 days she had it too. Then we both thought it was gone, and she got it again...and so did I!

1600 miles separate us, and yet we are connected. How? I don't know. But life has gone on and still does for us both. I'm sure that we will have many more stories about our "link" in the future.

That first smile

There is nothing like those very first smiles from your babies! You will contort your face every way you know how, make any noise, and do almost anything for them to do it again. In essance you are their devoted joker!

A newborn smile is proof that love is inherent, and hatred is taught. Why would they smile if they didn't like, and love, You! They know who you are, and its their first gift...LOVE!

These are the first glimpses into their personality...and they save them just for you. Our first son liked noises, and they would drag out those wonderful smiles. Our second son likes facial expressions. And, of course his first smile and a giggle along with it had to be when I was crying...silly little boy.

He sat in my arms smiling, cooing and laughing at his own jokes...though the punch line was a little beyond me at this point.

Cherish the smiles, they will make all the future frowns a little more tolerable!

I'm sorry

Last night my husband told me we weren't going to Guam anymore....let's just say I have told him not to ask me "what I'm thinking?" When I am being silent, and here's why. I know me pretty well, I spent a lot of years just by myself, and when I'm silent it means I am trying not to say anything because it may not be kind...and once it comes out you can't take it back!

Last night, I opened my mouth. This was not a good idea; and therefore I hurt his feelings. I believe in telling the truth, and sometimes the truth is best left in your head.

This morning I needed to apologize to my husband. I think that if you can't say you are sorry to your spouse that there's way too much pride there...and maybe it needs to be deflated! I was reminded through my husband...through someone who I've talked to about saying things you don't mean, or intend to follow through with (thank-you, I know you read my blog).

I'm not perfect...I say things that hurt sometimes, I make mistakes, I'm a worrier who generally sees the worst. But, I'm me, and as my husband told the person who reminded me of my own advice to her; he knew that I was not acting like the person he knows last night, so he just loved me in spite of my outburst and forgave me...even though I hadn't said the words yet.

I'm so blessed to have him...and I am sorry I let my mouth override my brain.

I Need to Find My JOY!

In highschool my twin sister had time where everything made her mad. My mo told her that she needed to find her "joy", and to do this she made a scrapbook. Now, I don't have scrapbooking in mind for finding my joy....I choose BLOGGING!

Ok here we go....good things about the PCS being cancelled..

.....we are getting new flooring in our house, and WE get to be here to enjoy it!
.....our families will be able to meet our newest baby, while he's still a baby...not a toddler
.....we don't have to pick up and move everything
.....we just joined a new church here, and now we get to stay
.....I GET CHICKENS! Yes, my hokey side is showing, I know :-). I don't want them for the company, just the eggs.
.....we don't have to trade tornadoes for typhoons, maybe typhoons would have been better?
.....I get to paint all the walls in our house!

Ok, short list, but good!

Gas...evil baby upsetter!

With our first son nightimes were simple. Occasionally he would need some gas medicine, but he would go to sleep with no problem. With our new baby, of course, things are much different!

Our baby man get fussy every night now around 7pm...now, I guess, this could be descibed as colic. The only part that has me confused is that the crying usually stops as soon as he's in MY arms. Last night was the exception, so we will chalk it up to the ugly gas monster.

We have tried burping him, and in this case he is very much like his brother, and this generally takes a lot of patting to get the bubble. Unlike his brother, this bubble is accompanied by liquid...so don't wear anything you don't want messy :-).

This game...and I'm starting to believe its becoming a game more than gas...goes in cycle. Nursing (so I will hold him) , fall asleep while eating, and we think that its a good time to put him to bed...but nope! Then comes the crying. He can go a LONG TIME! And this is our night until about 10pm.

Money Hungry

I am constantly confused and frustrated by what we teach our kids. More and more "research" is telling us to teach our younger, and younger kids about money.

Why do we need to teach a kindergartener about stocks and bonds, and instilling in him a form of money hunger? All this does is place too much importance on something that shouldn't be that important.

Yes, I know we need money to live....but we shouldn't be living for money! My husband and I can pay our bills, which is a blessing, but we know our limits. I love how people complain about this recession, but they have taken a "do as I say not as I do" approach, and tell their kids they are having a hard time...and then they go buy a flat screen!

I don't think we need to teach them about money, they will certainly learn that soon enough. I think we need to teach them how to prioritize and live within their means.

I'm Scared...

I'm scared...
....That we are moving across the globe
....that my husband may have to leave before we do
....I may have to travel with both boys by myself
....that TMO will lose or break our stuff
....that I won't get to talk to my family much while we are overseas
....I may not know what to do without my cell phone in my purse (yes this is a little stressful for me, even though at the same time I don't know why it is?)
....our boys, and any other babies we have, won't know their family
....a typhoon will come over Guam while we are there
....that the people who are going to rent our house are going to be deadbeats who will either trash it, or not pay their rent
....that I won't make any friends (it took me 2 years here to make some)
.....that I'm not as strong as I think I am

Church

I have been a church-goer as far back as I can remember....my husband's church attendance is much more recent, but just as heartfelt. I can admit that there are things that go on in church, among those attending, that are not always fair or nice. On several occasions I have been on the recieving end, and I can say that 90% of their "intentions" were not "from God" or "for my own good" as they claimed.

One such occasion happened this summer. I was 4 months pregnant, and my husband was in training over 100 miles away, and I was staying at home with our son, then 10 months old. Oklahoma summer is hot, and the wind doesn't help any to cool it, and we knew before my husband left that I would need some help with keeping the grass mowed. My husband didn't think a preggo should be out doing it herself in 100 degree heat...and people at church agreed. They offered the help of a couple 18 year old boys when I need the lawn mowed...the short of it was they never did it. And when I asked why, I was told I was being unreasonable in my expectation of them to do it.

We ultimately left that church because of a few other "assumptions" on their part, but the point is....not every church is great all the time. People make mistakes, and say things that aren't kind. I pray that you resolve to stick with God, even when "his people" refuse to stick with you.

They like me, they really like me!

Yes, I'm channeling Sally Field today :-). Today has been one of those days where I can tell I am needed and loved by three handsome men.

The big man has been "smoochy" and complimentary. The big little man has been cuddly and trying to give me hugs most of the morning. And our baby man won't calm down for anyone but me today.

Boy, I am one lucky...and LOVED...woman! I think I will just sit and bask in it with my coffee in one hand, hubby asleep next to me on the couch, big little man taking his nap, and baby man asleep in my arms.

Snowmageddon...Puhleeze!

Ok, born and raised in the great white northwest of the USA...therefore snow is not my enemy, I consider it much more of my friend than a rainstorm because I do not like to be wet without my permission. Yes, I know that is strange...but that is ME!

Since Monday our section of the middle of the US has been "under a state of emergency". Having grown up with what they fondly refer to as INCLEMENT WEATHER for several months of every year for over half my life I was really excited! My enthusiasm was squashed by the incessant coverage of blowing snow, and people measuring the drifts. How many times in one hour can you be interested in..."it looks like 'this much' snow"...and them constantly telling you how to either walk on ice or drive on it.

We had to get out of our driveway the first day, just in case,my husband would need to go to work sometime this week....which this has now turned into a one day work week for him. He used the car as a snowplow, and tada, we got out! Our little car got stuck once yesterday...but we got out, no problem...saw a 4 wheel drive truck have to be towed....size doesn't mean a thing ;-)

Even though these other things bothered me they didn't bother me as much as this. I have heard every news station give advice on things to do with your kids while you are snowed in...GREAT...but in the process they have also made this into a nightmare scenario for their parents. They actually said that these are things to do so that your kids don't drive you nuts because they are home with you for a couple days. Why is it that people don't want to spend time with their own kids? Why did they have them if the mere thought of being cooped up with them for a couple days sends them into a panic attack?

I don't know about you, but I had our boys because we wanted them...not because I had to. I love them, and any time that I get with them is awesome, even if its challenging!

Superwoman

Little kids...boys and girls...dream of being a super hero. But when we grow up we realize that we can't be. BUT WAIT! What is the job description of a mommy, or a daddy?

1. Carry the baby in your body for as long as you can/to the delivery (sorry dads this one doesn't apply)
2. Let your needs go by the wayside to take care of your mini-human
3. Stay up to make sure the fever isn't going any higher, and cuddling them so they get rest
4. Kissing boo-boos, and bandaging wounds...even though blood may make u queasy
5. Rubbing their back and holding the bowl when they have the flu

....the list is endless, but the evidence proves that to someone you are a super hero! And you get paid in kisses, hugs, and "i love yous"...sounds great!! Have a great day super heros!

My handfull

Today I was running errands and getting groceries. Along with me were my boys. This was the first time I did all of the shopping with them by myself, and I would like to think that I did pretty well with my juggling.

I don't know why people feel the need, but if they see a person with two youngsters they need to make a comment. The favorite seems to be, "oh, you have your hands full!" Now, as I've said before, I can appreciate a direct person...but this comment repeated no less than 4 times, from 4 different people, tried my patience.

Our oldest does listen very well...and no I'm not just saying that, others who have watched him have said the same thing. Yes, he is a normal child, and has his moments of misbehavior, but these are usually shortlived. And since our youngest is so tiny, he's really not much work either...and his big brother LOVES him! He tries to share toys and Binkies with him! How many 17 month olds do you know who do that on their own?

I wish these people would look at my "situation" the way that I do. I've been given two gifts; yes, they were closer together than most would like, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I remember telling my husband the day after our youngest was born that it felt like he has always been here....and I would like to think that most moms feel that way.