GA

Friday, December 30, 2011

Cloth for Christmas? Yes, Please!

My cloth diapering journey began about 3 years ago. I married my soldier, and we were wanting to start our family. As we kept getting told, "babies are expensive", and being the person I was I started researching alternatives to what most people refer to as "regular" diapers. We were trying to establish a budget as a young married couple, and the thought of spending up to 100 dollars on something we would throw away daily was something that neither of us liked at all.

We discussed cloth diapering, but didn't know of anyone who did it at the time. Shortly I stumbled across them because of a woman we went to church with who was using cloth on her twin boys. That was my first face-to-face introduction to any of the modern type of cloth. She invited me over to her house, and taught me everything she knew about them. No pins, no folding, just a pocket with snaps and an insert. And, she even did cloth wipes, that was something I had never really thought about! I HAD to tell my husband! This was far simpler than either of us had imagined! He was very supportive, and we ordered them when I was about 6 months preganant with our oldest son. The woman at our church used Fuzzibunz One-size, and being very new to cloth, it was really the only option I knew of.

Here our oldest is in his Fuzzibunz One-Size. These are still my favorite!

We discovered that the "pins and flats" cloth diapering of my mom and grandmother's generation was the only idea people had when you said you were doing cloth. People were very divided in their opinion; they were either tentatively suportive or absolutely grossed out! The idea of having to put the mess in the toilet before they put the diaper in the pail was just too much for them. I don't have a problem with it, and we wash our diapers every other day so that they are cleaned often. They all assumed we would quit within a week. But, with the help of companies like, Cotton Babies, where I can look at lots of types of cloth diapers and see what my options are, and making our one-stop shopping online easier; we have succeeded! With our oldest being a toddler now, we are looking into the Flip training pants! It is so nice to have so many brands in one place, and to have options for cloth training pants.

Our baby man is sporting his diaper as a swimsuit here...


So, how easy is Cloth, really? Wear, wash, repeat. Sounds too simple, NOPE! I see lots of moms asking in the Facebook forums, "what's your wash routine?" Is this an important question, yes, but the only difference between regular laundry and diaper laundry is that you have to rinse all the detergent out. If you follow your care instructions, and look at the instructions they send you with your diapers you will do just fine! My husband has even embraced this aspect of cloth. He has no problem throwing them in the wash, and he has our wash routine down pat!

Have we stuck to our budget, even though we now have two in cloth? Yes! We have 30 diapers for two children, all are one-size pockets, and we couldn't be happier with them! two sets of diapers and wipes have cost us about $400. How many peole can say that their diapers have paid for themselves? With the coming of our third child, this time a girl, I am also really excited that I can order some "girly" prints. Yes, Cloth mommies have a thing for cute prints.

Why am I blogging about this? Other than the fact that I would love to see more people being exposed to the truth about cloth, I am entering my post into a contest. I am not being paid for this, but would be very excited to hear that my post was liked! Please make comments and give me your cloth diapering questions and experiences. I can try to answer whatever you ask, and If I can't I will try to point you in the right direction.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Why Momma Cries

I never used to be a crying person. I never cried much until I had babies! I guess the mixture of hormones and effort that we put into growing these little loves does something to us.

We adopt those fabled "maternal instincts"...the one that makes you jump up out of bed because you hear a strange breathing pattern, or makes you take your toddler to the potty even though he told you, "I don't have to go!"

We cry when they succeed, we cry when they can't do what they thought they could...but if we tell them they "failed" we would hurt their heart and that is to be avoided at all costs...so we tell them, "next time baby!"

We cry when they grow...I now know why people get emotional when their kids go to school, their "baby" is no longer much of a baby!

We cry at the thought of what could be...I am now the queen of getting teary over movies that have terminally ill children in them, I just don't know if I could be as strong as their parents have to be!

We cry when they hurt our feelings...I have toddlers right now, but I know that someday they will have the power to hurt my feelings, but I'm praying it's a long way away!

Mommas cry over everything! It heals the hurts and helps us to celebrate the victories! How wonderful that God gave us such a versatle tool to cope with every occasion!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Looking for answers

This is my third pregnancy, and EVERYTHING has seemed very different! Not just how I'm carrying our baby, and how fast I'm growing, but my emotions have been much different.

I know that we are having a girl, but I'm suspicious that is not the only reason that things have been off. I can't consentrate, I'm very moody and then I'm not. I am exhausted and then I am awake and ready for action. I will get in a mood that feels like a "fog" and I can't make it go away....no, I'm not thinking of hurting myself, or my husband, or my kids. If I had been feeling like that, I would have done something about it long before now.

With a deployment looming in our future, and recent problems at home, I finally did it. I made an appointment to see if I really do have depression, and what can be done about it while I'm still pregnant.

I know that with our first son I had some minor problems after I gave birth, but I figured out how to work through that one....this has been going on for a while now, and I can't shake it!

I'm not a depressed person, at least I don't think so. And I thought I had a handle on myself. But, now it just seems like I can't do anything...and making people mad seems to be my skill right now.

I have noticed my posts are not the same on my blog, but I thought it may have been something that just happens...you run out of things to say every now and then, but then it started trickling down into everything! Laundry, cooking, my relationships...EVERYTHING!

I'm looking for answers and I hope to find some soon!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Favorite, non-material, Christmas Gift


Day 4 of the Wives of Faith Blog Carnival, and we are to blog about a gift we have recieved. The only catch is it can't be something you can wrap!

My favorite non-material gifts happened nearly 2 years apart to the day...the first was that my, at the time, boyfriend proposed to me on December 23rd, 2007. This counts because I didn't get a ring until February :-). And the second was our son, Mckinley. His due date was December 25th, 2010. We had actually joked once about having a "Christmas baby" before we started having babies, because my husband is a Valentine's baby! I had elected to be induced on the 21st so that we could spend Christmas at home. He must have agreed with the day that I had picked because 4 hours before my induction was set to start, my water broke at home in bed!

Both of my gifts have to do with love...one, where my husband and I promised to become man and wife, and the other where we brought our son...another little love..into the world together. This was the second time my husband got to actually deliver our babies.

My loves are my entire life! And near Christmas every year I have these memories to remind me how it all began....I was promised to be my husband's bride....


and the birth of a baby!


No, I do not compare my son's birth to that of Jesus, but it is still my personal reminder that Christmas is a day of Sacrifice, Love, and New beginnings!

I guess December has really become a very commercial month, with all the comparisons that are made between a "good" Christmas and the number of gifts you buy for the ones you love. And now that we have a baby who's birthday is so close to this holiday, you would not imagine how many people say, "I would hate having my birthday then! I wouldn't get any presents!" I pray this is not the legacy that I leave my children. I want them to see Christmas differently!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

My favorite christmas memory

Today is Day 3 of the Wives of Faith blog carnival, and they asked us to blog about our favorite Christmas memory.

In 1996, My twin sister and I were 9, and we went to our grandparents' house for Christmas like we always did. Us, our younger sister, two step brothers and our mom and dad.

Montana is known for snow, and this year was particularly snowy..."el nino" had made an appearance! My 9 year old mind didn't know exactly what this meant, but I loved snow days anyway.

I got a journal for Christmas. I remember sitting with it on the couch and writing that I wished it would snow so much, when we got back to school, that my mom couldn't go into work and had to stay home with us. Little did I know that the winter would bring far more snow days than I had even hoped for!

I know this isn't necessarily a "Christmas" memory...but I made my wish on that day, and it actually came true! We got several snow days with my mom! We also had enough snow that papaw had to get it off the roof with a little tool he built, and after the first couple snows even I could stand on the snow and see over the roof!


Merry Christmas...wishes may come true ;-)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Wives of Faith Blog Carnival-Christmas Treat!




So, Day 2 of the WOF Blog Carnival...and we are onto FOOD! And at Christmas, who loves the fact that treats are nearly a must! MEEEEEEE!

I have a recent love of Cinnamon Rolls! I just feel "Christmasy" when I'm making them, and I know lots of people who actually have a tradition of making them for Christmas Morning...and I think it's a SUPER idea! As we know Christmas morning is a bit of a delayed start in the food department, so it can't hurt to have it ready for you right?


I have tried several recipes over the last year....Katie Lee's, which was my very first attempt. Pioneer Woman's recipe, which was right after I read her Book "From Black Heels To Tractor Wheels" (so good!). And a more recent attempt, and it was because I only had a limited amount of time to make them....allrecipes.com 90 minute cinnamon rolls


Each recipe has it's perks, and I have decided that My favorite cinnamon roll is somewhere between Katie Lee and Pioneer woman! Take Katie Lee's Dough recipe


and Pioneer Woman's "frosting"....just because I am really into maple right now...


and you have my idea of the perfect cinnamon roll. Sweet Dough, Great filling, and enough frosting...in the right flavor...to make it worth every little calorie!

Merry Christmas Morning to those of you who are thinking of enjoying these then, like me!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Military Monday Blog Hop



Thank you, Semper Wifey For reading my post for the WOF blog carnival, and bringing to my attention the Military Monday blog hop!

I'm excited to start participating in this weekly event! I love reading other military spouse blogs, and I am constantly amazed by the posts I read. I am inspired by the patience, strength and humor that I see through these women. I hope I can do the same for you in the future!

My favorite Christmas movie...




I participated in the Wives of Faith Blog Carnival not long ago, and now they are doing another one in honor of the Christmas Season. Click here to read other entries, or participate yourself!

Today, day 1, we are asked what our favorite Christmas movie is. I have to say White Christmas, hands down!

I have a special place in my heart for Bing Crosby, as a singer, not as a family man, and his voice is very calming! And Rosemary Clooney is BEAUTIFUL! Not your "modern" woman skinny, but I prefer her look to anything that I see in recent hollywood. Danny Kaye is a hoot, clean comedy, that even your tween aged children can understand. It doesn't hurt that most of my favorite movies have some sort of music and dancing routines either.

I love the simple message of movies from that era. Nothing overly ridicoulus. Nothing trashy. Just good fun!

I have the special edition DVD that was available at starbucks about 4 years ago. And, it was my first time away from home. I was a nanny in Maryland. It came with a bonus DVD where Rosemary Clooney talks about the "behind the scenes" things you never knew....like the blonde who plays her sister, couldn't sing a lick, so she lip-synced everything! And, on the other end of that coin, Rosemary had a LOT of trouble with the dance numbers!

If you've never seen the movie....I bet you know the song!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

We are going to try...

So, we haven't had a car payment for about a year no
w. And in that year we got used to a certain amount of wiggle room in our budget...meaning we got to go out to eat and didn't think as much about those "little purchases". Now, we have a car payment due the day after Christmas, and the next month we add another little payment to our budget for windows.

Being the planner I am, I did all the math for our regular bills and the two that we knew we were looking at, and we could do it! But, the year of playtime has made the prospect of tightening our belt rather scary! We have decided to give it a test run this payday, to see how we do with not eating out at all for 2 weeks....we are going to try very hard!

So, my list of things to make as snacks are as follows:

Oatmeal cookies
Bran muffins
Loaves of wheat bread
Pizza dough
French bread
...and maybe some other special treats as needed.

I love cooking! And my men seem to enjoy my efforts. So, let's see what I can turn out to keep is all set up at home for the next 14 days. I will let you know how we do without our "fast food". Who knows, maybe it will become our regular thing.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Stick to your plan!

We had been doing our homework for a couple weeks on dealerships for cars in our area. We had a budget, we had financing, we had a trade-in, and we had the time to do the running around and chatting that it would take to make sure we got what we wanted for the price we had planned....but, dealers don't like the word "budget" it makes them a little dizzy because they don't seem to hear it very often.

Our budget was exactly what we could AFFORD! Again, not a poplular concept when your plan does not include a dealer's idea of what you should be able to afford. This "should" is based on your credit score, and lucky (or unlucky, we haven't decided just yet) my husband and I have very good credit.

So, again, stick to your plan!

We went to this dealership here, and laid it out flat! We wanted used, under "this many" miles, it had to be a Chrysler Town and country Touring edition...we are going to have some 6 foot boys that need the leg room, and we plan on running this car into the ground...we wanted a back up camera, and we wanted a DVD player. The back up camera is so that my husband and myslef can see all the wonderful people who sneak up on us, this has been a problem in the cobalt we had and we knew that adding some footage to the vehicle would only augment it. The DVD is because we have made some long trips as a family in the last 2 years, and they can feel even longer with stir crazy kiddos!

So, we negotiated. We looked at this car and that car, came back and looked again. The dealer found a car, not used and without some of the options we wanted...and it was RED! I really didn't want a red car, I had heard this was a killer with car insurance!

He had an idea of what we were going to pay, and I made sure that he had no doubt that I was not kidding when I said the word BUDGET! He got upset with me over $5 bucks a month...yes I haggled over 5 bucks! He wouldn't budge, and neither would I, so he brought in his other "help"...you know, the guys that say the same exact thing a thousand different ways just to get to you change your other mind? It only served to annoy me, and my husband and I walked away with no car 4 days ago. He tried one last speech about a "mere 5 bucks" and I told him that I didn't feel bad for sticking to the budget that takes care of my family and our needs....he said nothing more!

We decided to wait until tax season, and try again with another dealership. And today we a got a phone call....

It was that man! They had "benevolently" decided to drop the payment those stinking 5 bucks a month if we would get this car. My husband being the haggler he is countered and told him the price we would be getting with the other dealership we had looked at, and all the extra stuff that they didn't have available on the vehicle they wanted us to buy. He told my husband that they couldn't beat that price....and five minutes after he got off the phone he called back...They would MATCH the other dealership's price and install the DVD system on their own dime!

HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE!!!! This new price was UNDER our budgeted price! We had accomplished what we intended! We were going to get a vehicle that fit the needs of our family until our children are grown, and we did it at the price we could afford! We stuck to the plan!

My advice to you would be to not feel guilty at all when you make a plan! My husband and I heard more than a few side comments about how they were "losing money on this deal" tonight....I DON'T FEEL BAD! Go sell yourself another charger or challenger and then you can "earn" your commission off of some other person!

This was for my family, and we knew what was possible, and we achieved it!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

2:17 am- can't sleep so I'm just passing the time until I can, and it dawned on me that it's actually Thanksgiving day already!

So, from me to you, "Happy Thanksgiving!" I hope you have a marvelous day filled with joy and fun. I would say family and friends, but I know that may not be the case for everyone. Our families are east and west of us, and our friends have their own celebrating they are doing...so it will be the 4 of us this year.

I have a lot of blessings in my life! I have a husband, who has a job, and two handsome little men with him. In march we have another little blessing, our daughter will make her appearance, and turn all my men into even bigger protectors of the ladies in their lives! How lucky for her that she has 3 men looking out for her in her future...she may not appreciate it sometimes, but someday she will! We have a house, a car, food, and little luxuries...like netflix! Blue's clues is on our little man's list of things he's thankful for this year!

With all the things that we have, I am sad to say we always long for more, so instead of a new year's resolution, I think a Thanksgiving resolution may be more appropriate this year...To be content in what we have TODAY! To appreciate the things that we often overlook, to enjoy the little victories and ignore the setbacks. To have more faith, in all things, and less worry....worrying is a big thing for me!

I want to live a life of appreciation! Looking in my own little circle, I see things that others long for, and I have! I guess that once you don't have to long for something, the longing you used to have is just forgotten. I don't want to be like that. I need to start saying "thank you LORD" the way I used to..even for the things that seem ordinary...I was a much happier person then. I have been described as miserable recently and I don't like it at all!

So, Thanksgiving resolution it is this year, not New year's! Have a happy and blessed day!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Here we are again!

And, we are back on the block! Our government, for the third time in this administration, has decided that the military...or rather the "defense budget" is once again expendable financially. I don't know about other military families, but I can say that I am very tired of feeling that our pay is going to be cut every time congress sneezes in our direction!

People say that these people deserve our respect, but how can you do that when all they do is make policies to benefit themselves and hurt the rest of us. I read an interesting comment on a military sympathetic facebook page yesterday. The comment said, " you think that just because your husband is in the military, that you don't have to work!" I have to say that the statement is entirely untrue!

If it came down to it, I would go get a job. I would have to work an opposing shift to my husband, because me working would do us no good if the money was just going to daycare, but I would and have talked to my husband about it. He is very opposed to me getting a job, but it's because this is how our family opperates best.

Where is my faith in our government? At this point I really don't have any. I feel that at every turn the life that my husband and I have carefully scaled down in order to function effectively as a single income family is going to unravel. We don't have all the big "necessities". No cable, no car payment...I was told by a car dealer last week that no car payment is "unamerican"...no credit card debt. We pick and choose our wants, and get our needs met. We are careful, but careful can come tumbling down if our income is taken.

I am waiting for the day when the rest of the country is in our position, maybe then they will be a little more willing to force the hands of the people they put in power when they get into our personal cookie jars!

Monday, November 21, 2011

It's coming fast...

Thanksgiving is three days away. When you picture it what do you see? Lots of family, for the men probably some football, for the women cooking and cleaning up. Thanksgiving really is a rather lazy holiday. But it always seems to sneak up on me, now that we are away from family. Every year that we have been on our own, I have had to look up when it is, as I was always used to just being told when we were expected at our grandparents' house.

Thanksgiving never seemed to come fast enough then, now I feel as if I never have enough time to make the day what I would like it to be. A day full of people, not all related to us, cooking and enjoying company. I want to decorate, and feel like I made it pretty. But, so far it hasn't happened that way.

This is only the second thanksgiving that I am going to do by myself, but I'm going to see if I can make it a little bit more like what I'm looking for. So, decorations...I may need to search a little for things that our boys won't destroy too quickly. Food, I think I've got that covered. People, it will be just the 4 of us this year. And for my husband's benefit...football, but I think he has that one covered too.

So, I have three days...lets see what I can do.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Our Lovin' Boy


See this handsome little man right here? He's my Lovin' Boy! We used to have to ask him to "give us lovins", but as they grow up...they tend to change a little. Now, we can't get him to stop hugging...EVERYONE!

I guess it is our doing that he's so lovey with people. We make sure to hug and kiss him a lot, and give him praise when we think he needs it. And now that baby man is here, we make sure he gives his bubba some lovin' too. We especially do this when he accidentally...or intentionally...takes something from him, or bumps him in some way. Sometimes he "pets" his brother on the head, or gives him a big hug. We are just trying to make sure that hurting is always followed by loving, and so far it works very well. He has only tried to hit his little brother a handful of times.

Today was one instance where he just suprised me! We had to wait a very long time to be seen at our WIC office, and thankfully they were playing Cars 2 which is a movie that we have at home and our little man adores! There was a little boy there who had been hitting, and taking toys from other kids, and had even pushed and taken from our little man and he never tried to retaliate against this boy. In spite of this litte boy and us being there over an hour, and he had been a little cooped up, he saw this 5 or 6 year old boy come in and he just walked right over and started giving him hugs. He followed that poor boy and did it a few more times before I could get him to stop. I am trying to teach him that some people have boundaries...I used to, and still am one of them from time to time....but it's not always successful. I can't believe that after being pushed and bugged by one little boy and not fighting back..he picked a random kid to just start hugging on! I was a proud momma!

The other afternoon he got up from his nap, and spent the first 20 minutes running across the room to the couch so he could run back to me and give me a big hug. If any of you knew me previous to meeting my husband and being a mom, hugging was NOT on my list of favorite things! I went out of my way, and still with certain people this is still the case, to avoid hugging anyone at all! So, the fact that I have been blessed with, not only a very huggable husband, but a also a huggable little boy is God's great big laugh at my expense! I admit that I LOVE hugs from my men!

I am so glad to have such a lovin' boy. I would rather he grow up trying to hug and kiss everyone...he kissed my nurse square on the mouth, and made her afternoon the other day...than have a child who likes no one, and tries to hurt people! Thank God for Lovin' Boys!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Silence...my new motivator

I don't think of myself as a silence type of a person. I don't like quiet, as I have been an identical twin my whole existence, and been around small children in some way or another for a large portion of my life. Silence meant I was alone, which I don't like, or that a child was getting into something...we mommy-type people can attest to this! Silence is really the most frightening sound...or lack of sound...in our little worlds!

But, I guess I'm growing up at the age of 24! I have started to try silence on at points during my day. I usually have the TV going in the background, as my adult "conversation" during the times that Blue's clues, veggie tales, and Go Diego Go! are not being watched by our little man. But, recently I have taken to turning it completely off when the boys are down for their naps, or put it on the music channel when one of their shows is off. Little man loves music, and will randomly start dancing if the beat is to his liking....I love how he dances! No, rhythm at all, just groovin to the beat in his head!

So, silence is growing on me...unless it's dark out and my husband is working. I don't fall asleep with a nightlight, or a bear...I fall asleep with the TV on, usually on the couch, and he wakes me up when he gets home and sends me to my room!

This silence has actually improved my productivity during the day. I seem to get more accomplished, which has been helping my mood significantly. And I find that it really is rather soothing.

I guess growing up can suprise you. You do things you never thought you could, and enjoy things that you don't really understand.

If you were like me, and feeling unmotivated, try silence! I found that the hardest part was breaking my habit of having background noise. Yes, I still need it more often than not, but I am learning to enjoy the times where it is my only companion.

Friday, November 18, 2011

I forgot to knock on wood!


See how empty my kitchen looks? No, we are not moving...this is how I clean! This spur of the moment floor mopping comes as a result of our Little Man.

We started potty training from a different approach two weeks ago today. Things have been going very well, so well in fact that I just had to brag on him on my facebook page yesterday! He was peeing and pooping on the potty with minimal accidents, while we are home. He even stopped himself from having an accident and went and sat to do his business! But, as bragging goes...I forgot to knock on wood, and I was even sitting at the kitchen table, the most convienient wood in the house!

Today has NOT been successful! Three times he needed to pee, and three times he peed right where he was standing! I don't know why he's doing it, all I can figure is that after yesterday it had nowhere else to go but...frustrating! I tell on myself by saying that I almost took the easy way out after the second time, and put a diaper on him, and it took everything I had not to the third time.

I realize accidents and days like this are a part of the process, but I really need some adult support today...and all I have for "older" company is...my chairs!

But I have to say they are probably a little angry with me because the little man christened them two of the three times he didn't pee in the potty today...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

We are Having a little girl!

So, being blessed with boys the first two times, my husband and I were a little worried that a girl was just not in our future...unless we adopted. But, God just wanted to make sure that she had plenty of "man power" ahead of her, because I think she may turn out to be a little bit of a handful!

I have felt different from the beginning of this pregnancy. I was sick much faster, was more sick than with the boys, and then it miracoulusly ended. With the boys I was sick until about 25 weeks, with her it was gone by 14 weeks. And, my midwife says that is usually a pretty good indication that there is a different gender in there...and she was right!

So, with all the differences...we would like to introduce our, soon-to-a-crib-near-us, little girl!...in March 2012..."pepper" is her nickname!


Baby girl...we can't wait to meet you!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Hitting Reset

I've been on a break...not really by any real decision on my part, but by the fact that life has gotten in my way. I have come to the conclusion that I really do need to blog. It's not just a place to publish words...it's my online outlet. And, since I am homebound about 90% of the time now...not by my own decision either...this is what I have!

In the time since I haven't blogged we found out the gender of baby #3...to be shown in a later post ;-). I have officially entered the second half of my pregnancy as well.

We also found out that contradiction is the name of the game with my husband's leadership...and that, for doing the right thing, we are going to be punished for an undetermined length of time. This means that my husband has been on night shift for 7 months, and because someone doesn't think that another person in his shop can behave himself if they are on the same shift, my husband gets the crappy shift! Yep, it's stupid!

Our big man is on his way to being a potty-trained boy...but I think our floors shudder every time we take the pull ups off! He's doing very well for day 4!

And our baby man finally learned to clap yesterday! It's amazing to see how many times they repeat an action just so that you will say "yeah!" I think we did it over a hundred times yesterday!

So, I'm hitting the reset button! I'm going to make an effort to blog more, I may complian less...but it's going to depend on the day, and as my blog is really the only other adult to talk to in the room most days...I guess it may just get it! Feel free to disagree, comment, or ask questions. I really do wonder who reads this sometimes!

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Nice Encounter

Our little man, at barely over 2, is really not so little. He's over 3 feet tall, and wears 4T clothing for the length. Our long and skinny boy is deceptively "older" looking, and with that comes an anticipated set of complications. People THINK he's older without asking his age, so they just assume he's behind or lacking in some way. No kidding I have had people ask me this!

He's getting better about talking, but only talks to you if he wants to...so, feel special if he does!

And here's the reason I wrote about my little man today....

I was at Walmart a couple days ago, and was in the checkout line. He couldn't understand why he could eat a banana right away, and had a little meltdown....again, he's barely over 2, meltdowns happen. And, as usual I was getting the "look" from people and I heard someone in the other aisle say,"thats why we don't have kids"....FYI people can hear you one aisle over when you say things like that! In the lane a woman behind me asked how old my little man was. When I told her his age she automatically said exactly what everyone else does.."he's BIG for 2!" ..but, then she suprised me by adding that I shouldn't let people push him too hard because they are going to want him to act older because of his size.

WHOA, its gonna snow! Someone who actually thought the same thing I do, and was nice about it! I believe that kids are forced to grow up too fast. I think that requiring that they know how to read before kindergarten is robbing them of their childhood...not to mention those prevcious years where you and the adults in the room can spell things you don't want the kids to know. My aunt got around this after we knew how to spell by speaking pig latin with her sister...but, I don't think my husband would care to learn pig latin.

My husband and I have every intention of letting our babies be little. Making messes, mistakes, and even more messes...that's how they learn! So, let them grow up at a steady pace, and they will enjoy their childhood more, and so will you!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I'm ready...

So, I keep getting told every time I complain about some aspect of the military that is giving my husband or my family the shaft that I'm "enlisted" too. Oh, and my personal favorite...you knew about this when you married him! I say bull-hocky!

If I'm enlisted...where is the person I can go to when they treat my husband as their personal workhorse? Yes, working is his job, but work should be done by EVERYONE not just one! Who do I ask for clarification, when my husband was initially told that he was put on this shift because it wasn't fair for him not to be...because another airman had spent a whopping 3mo on it....my husband is now 7mo and counting, and stories have changed again about why they can't and won't move him to day shift. It was my understandimg that when "one sneezes they all blow their nose" in the military....what's good for one is supposed to be good for ALL!

AND...if I knew exactly what I was getting into by marrying someone...SO DO YOU...but, nobody likes hearing that, because its not true! How do we know what its like to have our husband being owned by the military when we have never been married? That's like saying you knew your car was going to break the day you bought it...Betcha you'd complain too!

I'm ready!

....for honor....to have people care more about their fellow members than they do themselves!
....for integrity...telling the TRUTH instead of fanning their own egos to make them look good on the outside!
....Service before self...ya, they used to know what this meant before they missed the first two!

Sound a little familiar?..they learn it in basic, and forget it as soon as they leave...please remember!

I hope the selfishness of the present military is soon to be a thing of the past! But, selfish leaders beget selfish troops!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Our little artist

Usually I'm very supportive of our 2yr old's creativity...today I am shaking my head! Let me start by saying that he can be very sneaky, not in a truly naughty sense, but sneaky nonetheless. And when given the right tools hr gets the job done to his satisfaction!

So, we went to the BX today, and the base is having fire prevention month and they were giving away toys and such to the kids. He got a hat, and a cup, and crayons with his coloring book....maybe you can see where this is going? We walked around, and I thought my husband had stuck the crayons in the diaper bag, and I had forgotten about them.

On the way home nothing was out of the ordinary, his seat is behind mine, and we have a compact car. You would think that one of us might have seen something....daddy had even talked to him at some stoplights because he likes to try to roll the window down...again, nothing was out of the ordinary!

I went into the house and my husband followed with getting the kiddos out, and then I hear,"hunee, do you want to know what our son did?"....we had just gotten home, there was literally NOTHING he could have done in the house...note: in the house! My husband came back to where I was and said,"did you know what was in his fire house cup?", and I said I thought it was empty....my husband told me he had left the crayons in the cup, when he handed it to our son in the car..see where I'm going now? He had decided the panel next to him in the car was not colorful enough, and had remedied the problem. See?...he got the job done with the tools given!

All I can do is laugh and shake my head!...I'm not a person who is so stuck on stuff that I'm going to punish him for something that was at least partially my fault. He's a child, and today he did exactly what they do. The only thing worse than lack of creativity is making them scared to be so...I admit the car is not the right place, but it happened. Life will go on...we will wash it off the best we can...and we will choose to laugh instead of be angry with him, because he acted his age!

Teach your children, but don't punish them for things that you has a part in...that's the stuff that makes them think you were a jerk later on...oh, and its JUST A CAR!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Quick Trip

My husband is the king of "quick" trips....he will go out quickly to get a gallon of milk, and come back with a bag full of stuff. See, "quick" trip! Last night was the same.

He was going to go to the base track to run, and it seemed to be taking a long time...Betcha can guess why before I tell you! Yes, he stopped at the BX quickly. Little did I know that thus trip was for me, but I found out it was. As my third pregnancy progresses I am finding that my clothes don't fit....yes, this happens but its bothering me because I am at the heaviest I have ever been. So, I am a little reluctant to go buy a whole new wardrobe, when my width during and after pregnancy is going to be changing....either by childbirth, or my own desire to never see these numbers on the scale again.

My husband never says anything about my size. I admit that this is exactly what I was hoping for in a husband, but now that I have it, it is not as comforting as I thought it would be! I know, its what I wished for, but I need some input.. like Johnny 5 ;-)

So, my husband heard me muttering about not having any roomy shirts to just wear around the house. And his side trip was to come home with any he found at the store. He's my fix-it man! He said he felt this was a need and so he just did it....I love this man, now more than the day I married him, and more tomorrow than today. He tries! That is all that I can ask, and wether he got me exactly what I would have picked or not doesn't matter, what matters is the effort behind his "quick" trip.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Reasons Behind The Action

As our marriage progresses I slowly find out those reasons that make my husband do certain things. And one of our favorite movies explains this progression very well...in the movie 'Fireproof' the character,played by Kirk Cameron, reads part of the love dare to his coworker. He says...and I'm paraphrasing...that you should study your spouse even after marriage. And, you should work your way up as if you were in school, from elementary all the way to your bachelor's degree and continue as far as you can and as long as you can. The more you pay attention, the better your relationship will be. I have to say, that in comparison to a grade level, our studying is probably still in the elementary level, but it keeps going up.

Today I discovered a few things about my husband. They were small, but they certainly count! These things help me to understand his quirks...you know those things that don't make sense to you, and therefore drive you insane? There is probably something behind it! Study your spouse, it will save you from those silly arguments that you won't remember later. And it doesn't matter if anyone else understands his quirky behavior....my grandma still wants to bop my husband every time he licks his plate at her house, even though I have explained to her the reason behind it...he only licks his plate when he REALLY likes the food...but all my grandma sees is bad manners.

See the reason, and if its not enough to be angry about, then let it go and just love them for it!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Intended Miracles

So, my trip to urgent care yesterday, recent comments made to me from other spouses, and things I read today on the news channel Facebook page have made it very clear that I need to say something...

Having more than two children is NOT a crime in our country! Everyone who has more than that number is NOT on welfare! Just because those of us who want more than that magical number of children have them doesn't make them any less wanted or loved!

In the last two days I have had a medical doctor ask me if I intended to get pregnant as often as I have...from what he learned from his precious medical books, the answer is yes, because we didn't do anything to "prevent" them from happening. From my standpoint I say that they were intended miracles! I have also had some military spouses react as if I should be commited to the psych ward because our first two are 16mo apart and our second and third will be 15mo apart....I have to say that the spacing is over 9mo apart so most of the nae-sayers should be pleased with me.

I have several friends and family who have not been blessed with their own children yet. Reasons are all different, but I would imagine that just one "intended miracle" would give them so much joy. One of my friends actually wanted 4, and now she says,"if I could have just one I would be happy." I'm not bragging, I'm just making a point that we will all be given the children we are meant to have. Either from our own bodies or from someone who felt that child belonged with you from the start. Both outcomes come from God's own hand, and in his time!

When we started trying to have our family, my husband and I knew that our plan may not be what was intended for us, and we may never have more than what we do right now. So, I would encourage you to look past this "2 kids is normal" mentality and just say, "they have the number they were meant to have." And, if you can't be nice, choose to say nothing. Nothing hurts a child more than to read or overhear someone asking if they were wanted when you became pregnant with them, and believe me they are listening!

So, I will continue on our journey through parenthood. I will have no more children than God intends for me to have, and no less. All of our children will be loved and cared for. I don't care how tired I am, or if someone can't understand how I "got into this mess". I won't ask your permission, and I'm certain you wouldn't ask mine, but if you have a baby I will be happy for you...you have an INTENDED MIRACLE, as I believe all babies are!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dear Tricare and Express Scripts...

As someone who uses an off base pharmacy because the military doesn't have a real hospital here, and therefore, a second rate supply of medication available...I would like to tell you what I think of your precious new copay...it is robbery! I get the mail you send me that says how much you actually pay for my medication, and I would think that a whole 2 dollars on your part is not too steep, even for a bunch of cheapskates like yourselves.

2 dollars, the price of half of your designer coffee that you are probably drinking this morning, and those pens you just had to have from your office supply....that taxpayers like me, buy for you!

With all the things that the military "might" be losing in the way of benefits, you should have at least notified us that you were going to raise the price! How would you like it if your insurance did the same thing to you...no wait! But since my husband works for the govt...we just get to eat the increase, when there is no grounds for it!

I hope that you all are extremely proud of yourselves...you just saved the "military" some money while sticking it to them at the same time! But, I guess we should just accept this as part of our new military...all work, no benefits, and an income that is considered below the poverty rate in most cities! Thank you for the wonderful suprise this week...I hope you recieve one just like it someday, it will make your year!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Bashing-on and Cashing-in on the military

It seems that with the quickly approaching anniversary of 9/11/01 there has been a surge of public patriotism, the military itself is gearing up to be ready if someone tries to start anything, and with this comes the usual uprising of celebrity supporters or haters.

The supporters want to make this anniversary one to be proud of, and to help the military feel like they are doing something that is WORTH something to the rest of us at home. The haters want to make it about THEM!

One of the most recent things I have seen was a comment made by a "singer". I don't count rap as singing as a rule, but you would think that they would have had to say the words out loud a lot in order to not trip over their own tongue when they are performing....so I would like to know why he didn't realize that what he wrote and said would cause an uproar? And, I would like to know why his apology, made after he was almost blacklisted, should carry any weight? But, I guess this is a legacy for those who want to cash in on this group of people.

The ones who truly support our men and women keep their rude comments to themselves just fine....the ones who want a meal ticket or a little notoriety don't care until it hits their bank account.

As the spouse of a military member I will ask you to pick a side. You are either for our spouses, or you are not. We don't blame your spouse, who may also carry the mail, for a package that never made it! We don't blame your doctor spouse, because they are in the same field as the one who treated our loved one, for the wrong diagnosis! Just because one makes a mistake, doesn't mean they all do!

Can you imagine feeling so hated and loved all at the same time? I know my husband has thought of the ones out there who don't like him because of his profession. I know spouses who have been attacked verbally for it....and their children too. Did you know that my husband is afraid to let me put a sticker or a magnet on our car that says "I love my airman" or "Proud airforce wife" because he doesn't want me and our children to suffer the same way? So, I get to hide my support under a bushel while the rest of the world can support whatever they want with no consequences. We are a world that likes things "fair"....so, guess what? It's NOT fair!

With things the way they are right now, my dreams of being a bumper sticker supporter of my husband are going to have to wait until he is retired. And everyone else will get to protest and praise all they want because they, obviously must have far more rights than I do.

Think before you speak. These people are not just cash on two legs! They are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, and cousins. They belong to someone! And that someone deserves to be a proud supporter....just as much as you!

Monday, August 22, 2011

I Love It When You.....

....and then fill in the blank..
....come to me when I ask you to
....put your toys in the bucket
....take no-thank-you bites of food I know you don't care for
....go lay in bed, when I ask, because I shouldn't have to Chase you
....use your big boy words
....drink water
....speak nicely to me

All of these I have used on my (this Saturday) 2 yr old son. And you know what? He gets a big grin on his face, and claps for himself. I almost think these phrases matter more to him than "yeah" or "good job"....and since I tend not to use "good" and "bad" as descriptions for him because I don't want him to confuse the behavior with HIM....this is how I show our little boy I'm proud of him and his actions.

...oh, and it works on husbands too ;-)

I strive to think of what I say to my children before I say it. And I think that encouragement can be an even greater reward than a gift. And I'm happy to say that this has served me, and my husband, well in our short parenting journey. We have a very secure toddler, who knows he is loved very much. He also has a healthy dose of pride in his efforts...not merely out of vanity...but because he knows that we stand behind his efforts wether they are completely successful or not.

Showing your children you are proud of them is less important than actually telling them. You are not fanning their ego! Ego and healthy pride are mutually exclusive when in the right balance....so give it a little try. pick something ordinary...one of those little victories, and tell your child, or your husband, that you are proud of THEM!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Pushing Too Hard

In the last couple days I have been thinking a lot about the future of our country....to me it looks rather scary, but I pray that I am very wrong and that my own children don't have to pay for the mistakes of presidencies current and future.

What got me was the new push to make insurance pay for birth control. Now, I know you can currently get it free or reduced from some places, and that condoms are passed out to young teens like candy. But, to make this a requirement will only cause more problems.

I chose not to take birth control. No, I'm not irresponsible, and I do know that means that I can get pregnant "by accident". My sister took it for a short period in her marriage and I asked her husband to change her mind....let's just say that sharing a room with her for 19 years I knew something wasn't right with her. And when she got off of it she was MUCH better.

This miracle pill poisons us and our babies....have you noticed the rise in health problems since this became as common as a vitamin? And as someone who doesn't believe in "unintended" babies, I would be very upset if I miscarried because of taking it.

When I mentioned these things on a news station Facebook page, I was reprimanded by a woman with 4 kids. She said I "looked young"...I've heard that before and it is always the start of a conversation with someone who thinks you couldn't possibly know anything because they are older than you. If you are going to argue...make sure you argue fair! She told me that I need to be open to my children and their needs, and if I'm not, that they are going to resent me and not want to talk. She also told me that "in a perfect world" teaching abstinence is a great idea but this is not a perfect world. So, I guess that was my hint from her that my idea is right up there with some sort of utopian society.

I'm not the pot, and I'm not the kettle...I practiced what I preach! Abstinence was a superb form of birth control...I had no babies before I got married! And all of my babies have the same daddy. It doesn't make me any better than anyone, it just means that it worked for me.

Before you take your kids out to get those things to "protect" them please consider that even in an imperfect world people still have self control and a desire to not have anymore heartbreak than is necessary before they are with their forever love.

I know my babies will go their own way, and I would rather teach them the way I was than give them the easy way out.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Winds of Change

Nearly three years ago "change" came into our white house. Promises, some too good to be true in a first term...and other enacted before they were properly assessed. I can say that my husband and I didn't get a voice in this because we got married 3 days before "change" was elected, and by the time we got home the polls were closed.

I didn't know it then, but a Target was painted on our military and their families that night. We became expendable!

Our pay has almost been stopped twice now and "change" just stood by and let us be on the chopping block. "Change" tried to freeze our pay somewhere in the middle of those two scares as well so that we don't get the benefit of raises like every other government employee. And now "change" has decided that if he can't get us while we are in, that getting us while we are out is the next best thing. "change" wants to do away with our pay and healthcare benefits when our spouses retire!

I don't know about your spouse, but mine chose this way of life so that our future health needs were secured. It wasn't all about the pension..Even though that is on the block too. Why are we letting "change" do all of these things? Why is the greatest military in the world letting one person take away every benefit we have?

If some of the things "change" wants happen, my family will suffer for it. Our hopes of me being the one home with our babies will vanish, and so will the future that we thought was secure. We spend wisely, and save more than 10% of our income in some form, but I don't think that will be enough if things go down the path they are headed.

As a mother, wife, and a part of the military team, I am asking that you look beyond race...beyond promises...beyond the novelty of "change". I ask you to look at the PEOPLE he has deemed EXPENDABLE! If your family was among those in this group you would detest "change" too!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I Survived Chicken Pox!


This was Round 1.....Daddy was doctoring his boo-boos.


This was Round 2....10 days later!

My two handsome boys had what their Pediatrician refered to as "chicken pox in the wild"...this means they got the chicken pox without being vaccinated against it. We have only chosen to opt out of one vaccine...chicken pox...because my husband got it twice, naturally, as a child. So, in the interest of only going through this once per child, we chose to go against the grain.

My oldest was very good about the whole itchy part...until his butt itched! Then I told him not to scratch with his hands and he decided to pull the "bear back scratch" trick and wiggle. It was hilarious! If I could have gotten a video of his ingeniousness...I would have!

Our youngest was not so good natured about it. He was my clingy one! And, being 7 months old, and unable to scratch just made him more determined to cuddle his itching away. He was also the one who had the most complicated things happen too. He kept rolling and rubbing the scabs off of his back, which then got infected....yucky tasting medicine does come back out of the mouth of 7 month olds too! Not to mention he became the "attraction" at the Pediatrician. Did you know there are doctors who have been out of medical school for years that have never seen a "natural" case of chicken pox?....yep, and all of them flocked to my baby like he was the most facinating thing they had ever seen!

Despite the comments that I have gotten for them being unvaccinated for it, I do not feel that I was being irresponsible. Being a mom is about making the hard choices, you do your research, you weigh all the pros and cons, and you are the one that they rely on! Don't apologize for making a choice. Doing the best you can is abosolutely what being parents is all about. I have always known our boys would make an impact someday...I just never expected it to be because of chicken pox :-).

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Negative and Positive

I have a pet peeve. It has to do with the descriptive terms "negative" and "positive". I know they have to do with math, and polarity, but they have evolved into a description of people's behavoir.

Anything that they don't like is negativity and anything they like is positivity. I find this to be a cop-out. It is generally used so that people don't have to actually address specific behavior and generalize it instead. And at the end they usually add something like "we need to act like adults"...well lets try this shoe on for size....adults address problems! Not just generalize them so that you don't have to confront someone. Why make everyone feel like you are being mean and that you never do anything wrong ever!

This is especially said amongst people in the military. We are the "free to be you and me military"...unless you are in uniform, of course. But, the spouses must always act politely to eachother, or they are ostracised and ignored like yesterday's garbage.

I don't believe in negativity or positivity...I believe in right and wrong! I believe that if you have a problem with something and you make such a generalization to a group about "someone's" behavior that you need to either explain it, or keep it to yourself because otherwise it makes you look like a jerk! And using such strong arming tactics as deleting people who won't adhere to your precious "guidelines" because they didn't meet your standards is wrong and rude! It creates and atmosphere of fear, and we fear enough as military spouses....we shouldn't do such things to eachother!

Have I been deleted from such groups, no, but I think that recent comments have made me consider distancing myself from the groups who have placed such restrictions on members. We are eachother's support! And we can't do that if we are so busy trying to control everything that we miss the opportunities.

Are there some out to make trouble? Always! Should they be dealt with? If they can't be looked over, yes! Treating eachother better than you treat yourself shouldn't be the "golden rule" as we teach our kids, it should just happen...it's like breathing! You have to think about rules...you don't have to think about breathing!

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Appreciate You....

My husband likes to hear that he's a good dad and husband. It's not for his vanity, it is because he needs me to tell him, its one of his love languages.

He helps me with dishes....I appreciate you!
He puts in the laundry, or brings the dry stuff in....I appreciate you!
He remembers something I reminded him....I appreciate you!

Notice a theme?...I appreciate him! Even when he doesn't do the things that I ask, I try to point out ANYTHING I can find that he DID do. Marriage isn't a baseball game....there is no "fair" or "foul", no 3 strikes you are out, and if you are keeping track of his batting average....then, admit it, you are looking for things to fuss about.

I have heard women say that they are carrying all the weight in their marriages, when in reality, they are missing the things that their spouse is doing because they are too busy keeping score to see the tiny home-runs! Marriage isn't 50/50, its on a sliding scale....sometimes its 95/5 or 52/48....but in the end, your effort together equals 100%, which in math land also equals 1! 1 marriage, 1 couple, 1 team...you are 1!

Marriage is a parallel to God's relationship to us, and he said that we are to forgive 70x7....its a little like 24/7, 365 days a year for the next 50+ years. Appreciate your men! Tell them every chance you get, even for the small stuff, and forgive them for the things they don't do!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

How will I be with three?

Less than one week after finding out about our blessing, and this question has been asked a lot. How will I be with three babies, instead of two? I would like to say that I would be just as I am right now, but I would be wrong.

I have discovered that love and skill multiply with multiple babies. The more self-sufficient your older ones, the less you have to worry, right? Wrong! There is a "flow" you have to learn when you get a new little being in your life. You literally have to re-learn how to make things go, and because babies are adaptable, they will be swept along.

I believe that is why people adhere to the two-year baby schedule. They believe that getting one out of diapers, or nearly out, will make their adjustment that much easier. In my own experience, this either works or it doesn't. Sometimes the older one regresses, and then you are more frustrated than when u began.

I'm not worried about my laundry pile, my grocery bill, or even my sanity. I know that if God thinks he can trust me with a new life, then he will "re-wire" me to be able to do what I need to for them. Yes, I do know "how to prevent this", as more and more have been asking, and yes I am VERY excited. Will it be easy, certainly not! Will it be worth every diaper and teen-aged argument, YOU BET! Will I be the mother I planned on being? No, I will be the mother I was MEANT to be!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Marital Musical Inspiration

I am very ecclectic when it comes to my music. I can listen to anything, as long as it catches my ear. These are some songs that inspire me in my own relationship with my husband....we all need a little of this now and then...something to make us look foreward to our 50th :-)

Lee Brice-"Love like crazy"

Dan Seals and Marie Osmond-"Meet Me in Montana"
Starship-"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"

Chicago-"Will you still love me"

Peter Cetera-"Glory of Love"

Scarlet-"Independant Love Song"

Here's a quarter, I just made you a blog jukebox! You're welcome for the slow dances with your hunee ;-)....Goodnight!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Great News!

I told you all a couple weeks ago that a little baby went to heaven...well, we have been blessed again! I'm pregnant! Found out today, after 3 positive home tests and a blood test!

My husband and I are so excited! Our boys are 16 months apart, and this baby, based on my rough calculations because I haven't been to the doctor yet, is going to be around the same. Close, yes, but it has been very good for our boys....they adore eachother!

With baby B number 3 on the way now, we have gotten varing opinions from those we have told......"Do you know that you can use protection?", "Are you trying to win a race or something?", "you are like rabbits!"....just "congratulations!" is my personal favorite :-).

No matter the opinion, my husband and I both believe every baby is welcome. We've been criticised for having a baby a year, but this is how we wanted to do things. And because of reality TV, everyone makes fun of us by calling us the "duggars".....3 children is not 20. And it seems that unless you conform to the "every 2 years" trend in the united states that something is wrong with you.

I say, do what you want! If you want a baby a year, and God sees fit to give you such a gift then, you go girl! If you feel that two years is just perfect for you, that is great! Everyone has their own idea when they want to start their families....Do what works for you! Every baby is a blessing....and I will tell you CONGRATULATIONS!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Sweet Talkin'

My husband may not seem very eloquent. He won't win a spelling bee...his words, not mine, because I know he has a mind like a steel trap. But, sometimes, he says exactly what the "needy, insecure wife" in my brain...you know the one that takes over your body and makes you sound like a shrew sometimes when you feel that they have taken you for granted, or you think that they don't like you anymore....really needs to hear. The best part is that he does it without me even asking, or "fishing" as I call it.

Today, in the bathroom(you would be amazed how many great conversations you can have as a married couple in the bathroom), He sat on the edge of the tub and I asked him if he felt like I was aksing him to help me too much when he was not working. He said that I have the hardest job between the two of us....he spent time alone with the kids recently, ALL DAY, with no one helping him. When I came home that day he was very suprised that I do all that I do.

He has never complained about he house being too dirty, or dishes in the sink, or me still being in my pajamas some days when he gets home from work. He takes it all in stride, and just says, "I love you!" I am so thankful God made him for me! We may not always have "good" days, but our "bad" days are so overshaddowed by the good that once they have passed we really don't remember what we were upset about...Don't you love those arguments, the ones that you can't remember why they were so important to you?

Women, sit back and watch for the sweet talkin' moments. They come and go, but when they are here they are SO worth it! Who knows, maybe yours will be in the bathroom too :-)! Men, anything you can find to compliment your wife on is never too small or insignificant! It can be how she made the mashed potatoes, or that she didn't complain when you flipped from her show to your sports channel, for once, but don't add the "for once" on the end...anything counts and nobody is keeping score!

Independance

Independence is the theme of the day! The rights we have acquired through that independence are being protected by the men and women who we are married to.

Men and women who earn no overtime, no bonuses for a job well done, and sometimes no raises. Who know that a 3am phone call may mean 1 hour until "wheels" up...who, for on important holidays such as today, have to be prepared "just in case". The "just in case" meaning that our freedoms have once again been threatened. I say thank you!

Thank you and your spouses for being willing. Thank you for being the strong spouse, even when you don't feel like it. Thank you for our independence! Our 235 year legacy is still going on because of you!

Happy Independence day to all of you!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Hi, my name is Nicole...

....and I LOVE picture day! My husband has figured out, in 2 1/2 years of marriage, that I love having family pictures in our house. I don't get excited over much in the way of decorations...my pictures are my decorations. And, thanks to military discounts at certain picture studios, we are capable of getting them done for little milestones in our life.

This time the milestone was our youngest now being a big 6 month old....



THAT is one of the three best smiles in the world, yes I am biased!


And here is our baby man wearing daddy's hat...SO CUTE!


It's amazing! 16 months apart, and they actually like eachother....blessed with babies who get along so well!


And here we all are. the brunettes and the blondes...


And, in honor of this weekend...and because we are proud of Daddy....we did a flag background picture! Happy Independance Day weekend!!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

This time last year...

This time last year, I was pregnant, and our oldest son was 10 months old. My husband was in tech school...the military version of an apprenticeship...and we were just getting ready to leave the base he was at, and head to our house for 4 days of family time! I have to say that it was a welcome time together since he had been away from us for a month and a half.

This time, he's home too, and we don't have the returning to tech school looming over us the whole weekend...yeah! I have to admit, these 4 day weekends are nice! Tomorrow we are going to have pictures taken of our big six month old, and a new family pic done too! I love pictures!

If you come to my house you will find what is important to me...Hung up on the wall. THREE VERY HANDSOME MEN! So, I'm going to enjoy my time with them...and our pictures too...and don't worry I won't be able to wait very long to share them :-)

Have a grand independence day weekend!...I will!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Sibling Rivalry

I am an identical twin, and have a younger sister and half brother. All of us have the same dad, and our brother has a different mom. Ages are 24, 24, 21, and 11. I get along best with my twin, and our sister tends to only talk to us when she needs something or wants to yell. Our brother was born when we were old enough to babysit, so we are learning how to relate to him as much older siblings.

I don't think there was much rivalry on my end. I never felt the need, everything I had was shared with my sister. My younger sister has always said she felt like we hated her...this is far from true! There was no competition with our brother, he was in another state.

Between us girls the tension has gotten stronger as life has moved on. I got married first, my younger sister was minorly upset it wasn't her turn....my twin got married next, and our sister was openly angry that it wasn't her turn....then she got married, and EVERYTHING was about HER! This has now carried itself into the pregnancy department, and this we have even less control over....but it never matters to her.

Our dad has shown that he favors the younger 2 of his 4 children. And this favoritism has finally become intolerable! It started as him calling our younger sister to complain about us older girls, then he came to her wedding and not ours, and now his "golden girl" is moving nearer to him, and it has started a whole new phase of stupid!

My dad's wife now says that the "closer bond" between our dad and sister is because their birthdays are 4 days apart! Boy, if we had known in utero that the way to our dad's heart was through his birthday we probably would have held out on being conceived....WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT! I think that is the dumbest reason to be closer to one of your children, and not the others, that I could possibly think of! That's even worse than the people who prefer one gender of their offspring over the other....but at least their odds are better...50/50 vs 1/365!

So, here's my thought...either love me or don't. And don't use things that I have no control over as your reasons for not caring as much for me as you do about my sister!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!" You remember saying this before, right? Well, It's not true! Words hurt more than anything. You can hit someone and they will brush it off, but if you say something its there to stay.

It's usually the ones we love the most that say the things that hurt the most. We let our bosses, coworkers, inlaws, and our children say things and they roll off...but if It's our husband we lock up! It goes straight to the heart and sits there. No amount of "I'm sorry" seems to soothe the wound, no kiss is a good enough band aid...why? Because they are supposed to protect, not hurt. Say loving things, not things they can't take back.

In a perfect world...in a perfect marriage....nobody would say hurtful things. There would be no need for little ditties about "sticks and stones."

In the time my husband and I have been married, we both have said things that hurt the other. We are not exempt from such behavior, but we have learned that God is never going to allow something that tears down walls...our marriage is meant to be! Yours are too!

A pastor friend of my husband told him that if people could push through and stay together, the thing they thought they couldn't live with, they find that they can. Does it mean something else hasn't taken its place? No. But life evolves, its always changing, and so does your relationship to your husband.

70x7...we forgive, forgive, forgive.

Monday, June 20, 2011

My perpetual daydreamer

My husband is my perpetual dreamer! When he gets free time he snags my phone, or the laptop if we have nowhere to be, and starts looking. Some days he is looking up specs for his future hunting rifle, or the project car he would like to get when our boys are old enough to tinker with him under the hood, demotivational posters...for some reason these are hilarious to anyone who wears combat gear...anything that comes to his mind!

He has done this since we met. He looks things up, and when he finds something that interests him, he wants to share. He dreams of life beyond his military career, and comes up with different jobs he thinks he would enjoy all the time.

We know the location of our retirement...Montana...but as evidenced by my husband, our dreams will change with the winds across Oklahoma. If we are too rigid in what we want to do after our children start making their own way we may get stuck in a rutt ourselves.

I am thankful for my dreamer. He's always planning something. It may be in the present or for the future, but at least I'm there in his dreams too!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Our Angels

Life has been trucking on, and I have had very little time to blog recently, but I got a chance today...and my mom says she needs her "blog fix!"

Life happens while we are busy doing other things, right?...RIGHT! I, again, have found this to be true. Over the weekend a little angel went to heaven, I don't know his or her name...other than their last, and I will not know what he or she looked like until I am there myself. This angel was a baby that I miscarried. This our second, the first was just before I became pregnant with our oldest son.

This time was harder than the last. I questioned myself, and everything going on around me. Was it my fault? I know that people do this, and I am not alone. But the difference with me is that I have a faith greater than our loss. I know that our child is being loved by the greatest parent in the world! Never feeling pain, or loss, waiting for the rest of his family to join him.

Why, when we lose a baby, do we feel compelled to try again? Because love conquers all! No, fear or anxiety can make the hope of another baby disappear! This is the same reason that we ladies are excited to bring our children into the world, knowing that it will not be a painless process. Sacrificing ourselves so that our babies can live! No stretch mark is too ugly, no veins too unsightly, no backache is too much, we give all we have to give...and will continue for our entire lives!

I am sad that our baby is not going to be in my arms, but I know that every gift comes from heaven...ours just got to go back early! We love you, baby B, and we are so blessed that you were here even though you weren't here to stay!

For you who have been here too, there is hope and peace to be found! Every baby is meant to be, some just aren't meant to be here as long as we would like. I hope you find your joy again....cling to it! Cry, laugh, do something that makes you happy, and continue to live! Moving on doesn't mean that you don't care, it means that you know that your purpose is still out there!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Marital "test drive"

So, wedding season is in full swing! There are the David's Bridal commercials, bride workshops, Victoria's secret has their bridal gear for sale...its a season full of hope...for the future. Statistics tell us the American marital future is in jeopardy.

Marriages are now being replaced by "partnerships" or merely live-in companions, where you reap all the "benefits" except for the most important COMMITMENT! We are showing our future children, by word and deed, that you can "have it all" without giving your all....to quote the puppet who couldn't lie, "I've got no strings to hold me down!"

It's not just my children's generation who will be affected by this...it started with my own. Before my husband and I got married he was told by almost everyone he knew, mainly those he worked with, the he needed to "try it before you buy it!". I told him plainly that I am not a BUICK! There is no test drive, he either wanted all of me, the right way, or none of me. Thankfully he was of the same mind, and ignored the unsolicited advice of people who didn't know anything about anything to do with us.

I have since noticed that this is common with military members. They will live with someone for 2-5 years before they get married. Just because you live with them doesn't mean you know them, and sadly a lot of them figure this out after the "honeymoon" is over.

I have seen a lot of marriages going down in flames recently, I am saddened for them. I pray that we begin to reexamine the commitment we all have made to our spouses. I vowed that I would be with him until death..either his or mine...it didn't say I needed to be "happy" all the time or that it wouldn't be the best-hardest thing I've ever done....but it said FOREVER he would be mine and I would be his!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

All I do...

Wake up to the sound of toddler chatter....
Drag myself up, and ask my husband if he's ready to get up...
Put our little man into the bath, because despite the XL Inserts because he could compete with a camel with his liquid retention before bed,and even a double layer doesn't hold it all...
Daddy gets him dressed, while I make meals for my men...
Wake up our baby man, clean and change him, and give him his bottle...
Daddy is feeding the little man as I get done feeding the baby man...
Then, I get to eat....
And, onto our normal routine of naps and playtime intermingled with my daily chores...

Yes, suprisingly ordinary, but sometimes I pray for some "me" time! Time where I can read a whole book or do a whole craft project, uninterrupted. But, even with the things I do daily, I never get every chore done before my body begs me to rest. And, then morning comes and we start all over.

I love my men, I am blessed, and sometimes I feel like I am invisible. I know my husband appreciates me, he tells me, but sometimes I need to remind him that there is more to me than "mommy" or "cook". I am pleased with both titles...but somedays WOMAN is what I long to be seen as!

Someone who is kind, loving, FEMALE(little kids don't really see you as a girl or a boy...you're just a constant in their life)! I want outings "with the girls", and sometimes outings with other moms, but both of these things have been very elusive during my time in OK. I have a few I know who I consider friends, but I am always the one to initiate. I see people on facebook making plans and I wonder if people even remember that I am here too? I don't like to intrude, and sometimes I wonder If I am that kid in class that people tolerate when they are in the same room but can't wait to ignore once the meeting is over, so I don't do what my brain is screaming "PICK ME, PICK ME!"

All the retired spouses I have met say the same thing...."it was great, there were so many nice people, we made such good friends!"...."I never had to find someone to hang around with, we were like one big family!". Sorry, I have never had such experiences as a military spouse! I know they exist, I see them and hear about them from other spouses...but I am on the "outs" somehow.

Being a twin didn't help cultivate an overly social personality for me. I always had someone who was my friend no matter what! I guess that is part of it, or maybe that I just make people uncomfortable with how I speak or carry myself.

I don't want my "chores" to be all I do! I want to feel a part of something, and I would like to find those people that other military talk about....maybe I'm just missing something.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Discipline Vs. Punishment

My husband and I are taking some classes so that we can do special childcare. The classes are an overview of child development and how to parent children who aren't yours from the start. Last week we covered Discipline.

This is certainly a touchy subject. There are so many methods, and ideas about what is right and what is wrong. The more "learned" we, get the farther we get from the root of why discipline is important. And this class has further cemented this idea for me.

There was a chart in our book that had two headings DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT. Now, my earlier thoughts were that the two went hand in hand. Discipline being the act of fixing unwanted behavior and punishment being the "how" you fixed it. Not the case according to them. Discipline is acceptable, but it cant "hurt" them. Punishment is NOT ALLOWED because it may damage them in some way.

When you start disecting how we teach our children right and wrong you can come up with the conclusion that nearly everything we do is in it's barest form is a type of "punishment" and that Discipline, according to their standards, is in the eye of beholder. One example being...They said hard labor is punshiment(digging a hole) but cleaning out the gutters is discipline...no joke, that was the example! Are those two things any different? To me, no.

In this world you only get about 18% or less of your children's lives to teach them what they need to learn to be functional adults. Success is not measured in what they become, who they marry, or how their children one day turn out. I believe that success is measured by what you did with your 18%. Did you care enough to discipline them instead of always trying to be their friend? Did you impart your wisdom on them even when they gave you the "whatever" as an answer every time? Did you make them see their mistakes, but also help them learn to turn it into a victory? Did you love them every single day, even when you didn't like their behavior? If you say yes to some or all of these you have succeded!


No method is perfect, all are like walking a tight rope...you go too far to one side and you may hurt their heart. And that is to be avoided, because that will make them resent you. And if you go too far to the other, and they will never take you seriously. We have over half of their lives to be their friend. They will love you more, and appreciate you more, for being strong enough to discipline them while you still could.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I'm syndicated now!

Hello all, some of you already know that I now have a facbook page. If you would like come and join party! Can't wait to see you there!

USN

Monday, May 23, 2011

24

24 years...yes, that is how old I am as of Friday. May 20,2011 at 2:02am I officially was one year older!


this time last year I was about pregnant with this handsome man...we didn't even know that he was a HE yet :-). Now, he's a happy 5 month old, who thinks that all is not right in the world unless mommy or daddy are holding him. Yes, I guess we are now trained....but I love the fact that he wants to cuddle!


And this handsome man has grown as well. He is now a self-sufficient 21 month old. Well, he thinks he can do everything anyway. If he could say "me do", he would!


My oldest handsome man has now been my love for 4 years. He met me right after I turned 20....it really doesn't seem that long! But, in our 4th year he did something he has never done before....


He bought me REAL flowers! He doesn't like to give me gifts that won't be here in a month, so when he has gotten me flowers before they have been those wooden roses...I love those too, but he bought me daisies. I LOVE DAISIES!!!!

AND, for the first time since we have met he was WITH me for my birthday!!! This is the big one. The first year we were too far apart for him to be with me on that day, our first year of marriage he was TDY, our second year of marriage he left for tech school 7 days before my birthday, so...this was a special day!!! Thank You hunee!