Our first month of marriage, November 2008, my husband found out how important a vacuum was to me. He didn't own one for his apartment...yes bachelor syndrome was rampant there, and I say that in the most loving way...and I hadn't gotten one as I had just gotten done working as a live-in nanny and hadn't needed to buy one.
The night we pulled into OKC and walked up the stairs I was greeted by pizza boxes, piles of clothes, packed boxes, and a furniture bare apartment. We were expecting a couple, who were friends of ours, to meet us at our house to unload our U-haul, and I was panicked! This place was quite messy, and even though it was only going to get cluttered by the things coming in from the truck I still felt they shouldn't be greeted with the things that I saw. I got down to business, and got it somewhat cleaned up before they arrived. My husband has never forgotten that day, or the month that followed while we waited for payday to get a vacuum.
I wouldn't say I was surly about the lack of a vacuum. I improvised and actually swept the carpet with a broom to get rid of the pieces I could see, but with a dog and two adults coming and going it was starting to get discouraging. Black Friday we were walking through Walmart, and my husband spotted a $28 vacuum, and it literally was the best present EVER!
I brought my present up to the register, and I literally was excited to be able to get that thing home and use it. The cashier, a man, looked at this vacuum and said, "it's black friday and that's all you could get her?" He didn't understand...but my husband did. It was important to me.
So, for the second time in our marriage my husband has looked at what is important to me, and today he walked through the front door with a brand new vacuum! Our other one had decided to burn up 2 days ago, and I had not made any plans to buy a new one because I knew we had other things we needed to focus on, not to mention I still had my broom and I could make do for a while with that if we had to.
Here was, not only a new vacuum, but the one that I had mentioned wanting to get when we could afford to. I have a habit of getting the cheapest thing for myself, instead of the things I really want when I am left on my own to shop. My husband is either much more practical than me, he always says "you get what you pay for", or more impulsive than me and is trying to make me happy. I guess either way he has noticed what is important to me.
Men, I urge you to watch your wife as much as you need to be listening to the things she says. Finding what is important to her is essential, and helping her get/do those things is needed. It can be something as simple as making sure that she has a vacuum available to her at all times or picking up flowers for her when she seems to be having a bad day. If you can't tell what is important to your wife I have some solutions for you.
#1-Ask her sibilings, friends, or parents for advice.
#2-Read the "5 Love Languages" book, you can find it at most book stores.
#3-Watch her when she is "busy" what does she pay attention to the most, other than the kids or you?
