To share, or not to share?

I was watching the news this morning, and one of the saddest things I've ever seen was one of the top stories. A man is being prosecuted for accessing his wife's email!
Now, I remember my vows...it wasn't that long ago...and I have seen some successful marriages, and some that didn't make it. A common trend in the ones who have lasted is that they shared...not just what was on their minds, but EVERYTHING! How do people come to the conclusion that your husband or wife doesn't have the right to look at your emails? My husband asks me for my passwords all the time, and guess what? I'm not irritated or offended, and I don't assume that he's snooping.
My prayer for my marriage and the marriages of our country is that we get back to basics. Back to a time where we don't need a "power of attourney" just to check on a loan that our husbands have leftover from their bachelor days. I pray that we choose to share our lives with our spouses!

Cloth diaper chronicles...

When we found out we were going to have our first son, my husband and I decided to use cloth. At that time we knew another military family who used them for their twins and we decided that brand looked promising. Fuzzibunz onesize, THEY ARE AWESOME!
When it comes to diapering people don't think about their options; at least I didn't. You see everyone using "sposies", as the cloth diapering mommys call them, and you just assume that is what is best and natural. When my husband and I told people we were going with cloth, they all told us that we were wasting our money and that I would change my mind after the first week.....my mom was the only one who knew how driven I can be, and she just said that she knew I was going to use them. My twin sister even called me a hippie, and argued with me about it, but now she has a 7 week old daughter and guess what she asked her sister for?....the same cloth diapers that I use :-)
Don't get me wrong, I have taken "bag breaks"...where I buy the smallest bag of sposies I can find and use it til it gone, but it was usually because the power was out or the washer or dryer wasn't working where I was.
Now we have two babies who will be in cloth. I am a fan of some cloth diapering Facebook pages, and one of them just posted a link about making your own all-in-2 cloth diapers, so I'm going to see if I can whip some out to use on our wee one, until his big brother is out of the fuzzibunz...wish me luck!

He's here!

Our plan was to be induced at 6am on the 21st of december...and as most know, plans do not always go the way you think.
At 2:30 am on the 21st, my water broke while in bed at home, so I woke my husband out of a dead sleep, and we started to get in gear to go to the hospital. I love how they have to "make sure" your water broke, even when it just doesn't stop when it's your water. The movies make it seem like it's one gush and then the fawcet turns off, but THEY LIE! I had the mommy diaper(an old towel) until I could get to the hospital and then I got to sit on a pad all day.
Every labor has its adventures...I asked for an epidural...and almost 3 hours later, the anestheiologists showed up. I guess there were 2 emergency c-sections right after I asked for pain meds. I'm so blessed with a husband who tried everything he could think of to help me relax. He kept telling me I was doing a good job, and that he was proud of me. He even stayed with me and held my hand when they gave me the epidural, even though needles scare him. I wish everyone had that kind of support.
Three hours later, my husband got to help guide our second son into the world! He's 8lbs 11oz and 21 inches of cuddly boy, and if you put blonde hair on him, he's the carbon copy of his older brother!
I am a blessed woman! I have been given gifts of three handsome men in my life, so far, and amazingly they think I'm one of the best gifts in their lives too. I hope everyone's Christmas week started off as good as ours did. We went from a family of 3, to a family of 4 and it doesn't get any better than that.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Here we go...

As of tomorrow at 0600...yes I do use military time with my hubby :-).....we are going to start the process of encouraging our baby to make an appearance. We got an induction with our first baby because we thought my husband was going to deploy a few days after his due date, but thankfully he didn't. The first induction was long, with lots of back labor....I'm hoping this one is faster.
God is good, and he has provided us with someone who is willing to take our son so that he won't be in the delivery room. My husband was really worried about that, especially if there were complications....but in all of this God provides.
It's a little surreal to think that only a day or two before Christmas we will have two little ones, our precious gifts from God! Our older baby pats my belly when I ask him where his brother is...and then he lifts his shirt and pats his belly. I do tell him that mommies only have babies in their bellies, but as we know he doesn't get it.
So, I will be very busy for the next couple days...but will update all as soon as our baby is here!

"Love is a battlefield.." and other analogies about relationships

Yesterday my husband and I got to go to lunch with a pastor we are friends with. He wasn't always a believer, and my husband has only been for about 3 years, so they can have good conversations when they go fishing.
We were talking about lots of things, but relationships came up because we have a mutual friend who just divorced her husband and the pastor's son is about to POP the question.
The person who got divorced once told me she and her husband just weren't "in love" anymore, and," if you don't have all the ingredients, you can't bake a cake", these were her reasons for not wanting to try to work on some things before making the permanent decision she ultimately did. These type of analogies, especially when you are trying to describe marriage, bother me. Firstly, if I don't "have all the ingredients"..I know how to substitute to make it work...and as for love..IT'S NOT A POOL! You don't just fall in and then climb back out! It's there from the start, or its not.
People can talk themselves into, or out of, anything. Analogies like, "love is a battlefield", "three strikes you're out", and countless others are dangerous, especially when you are irritated.

Needs vs wants...knowing the difference

We live in an "I want..." world, especially around Christmas. Christmas has got to be the greediest holiday ever! All the commercials talk about what people want, not what they need, and they make a man who buys his wife the vacum she has wanted for 2 years...because he found an awesome sale...look like a great big insensitive pig. What have we done?
My husband and myself have a system; if its not normally on the list, we discuss it BEFORE we go to the store. We know that some of the biggest fights couples have is over money, and it shouldn't be that way. Why argue about something that isn't going to go away?
My husband is a self-proclaimed impulse buyer...so he doesn't carry the cash...he let's me. If he needs it, we talk about it. Now he says that he feels as if he has more because we are a team about our finances. He helps me to relax a little and splurge on a "want" every now and then, and he says I help him determine if its a "need". I wish this type of teamwork could be taught, but unfortunately its something you have to work on as a couple, over time.

Labor of love

I was thinking last night about our new baby being here next week. We have the joy of 2 little ones to call our own very soon, and I was thinking that I will miss being pregnant. I'm not going to miss the heartburn, the aches, or the fact that I can't bend at the waist, the part I will miss is having the baby so close and protected.
I'm not one of those moms who worries about every cough, or that wants to keep them with me at all times, but there is a sense of peace in knowing that your baby is in the place that God designed to keep them while they are at their most vulnerable, in you! They are the newest and smallest love in your life, and your sacrifice makes their life possible.
I hear women complain about pregnancy ruining their figure, but I'm proud to wear my newest stretch marks...they were my labor of love! Love of a child God gave my husband and me to protect and to teach...our miracle.

Shots hurt mommies too.

Our son had his 15 month appointment today. He really is a little trooper when we go to the Dr; no crying, or fussing, and he tries to hug the nurses...yes, he's a great big flirt, but we will take it!
With his first pediatrician the nurse made ME hold him down to give him shots...that is the only time I cried almost as hard as he did. I'm of the mind that they should be the ones to hog tie him, and I choose to be the one to cuddle him and console him cuz it hurts me to see him cry because someone is using him as a pin cushion!
I LOVE the nurse for his new pediatrician! She's so quick and she doesn't ask us to hold him down!
I believe every scary Dr visit should come "a la mode", and sometimes mommies need a treat too....so we took our big boy and got him his ice cream.

My Love!

When we were going through things in the "keep pile" in the garage on Saturday I found some of my purses and I told him I really was going to keep them for when I get to be "a girl again"...because right now I'm a mommy, which means my purse IS the diaper bag....well this is background for the real point of the story.
Yesterday we were folding clothes, and with recent events taking over my brain, I had a meltdown! My husband is a car guy, and he's also not afraid to tell me when I'm being a grump...WITH LOVE of course! So my husband acted like he was "down-shifting" a car with his hand...which is his way of telling me to please calm down. My husband, somehow, knows what I need more than I do sometimes, so he starts looking all over the house for something. When I asked him what he was looking for he said," I will know when I find it"...not the usual response, but its all I got at that moment. He came back with the keys and handed them to me. He told me to go and do something fun, for me, for a little bit and not to worry about,him and our son. When I protested, he went out into the garage and came back with A PURSE! I started laughing because I knew,he had heard what I said yesterday, and he was telling me to go be "a girl" for a little bit.....he even tried to put things in it, but admitted he had no idea what women "need" in their purses.
I love him!! He's my husband, my friend, my lover, my joker, and sometimes my therapist :-). He loves me any way I am today, tomorrow, and in the future. This is what I pray our sons grow up to be, and they are blessed with a true example of a husband and father! He could've taken my meltdown personally, but he chose to just show me love! He's MY LOVE!

And now we are all grown up!

As you grow your relationships change. You have friends, boyfriends, fiances, husbands, and someday kids. Each relationship comes with joys and challenges, but none more important than the one you categorize as FAMILY.
Family can include some, or all of these relationships, but sometimes you realize that even they can't be there all the time.
My family is awesome, but as life goes on we learn that being "grown up" is a lonely place, especially when you are the only one of 5 kids who has moved across the US. This is further complicated by the arrival of my identical twin sister's baby a month ago, because our son is due any day now and we are discovering we are truly alone.
By alone I mean that our son is going to be present, in the room, for the arrival of his brother. Some people encourage this, but if things were different, and we had family closer or who could be here, he would be with them.
I'm proud to be married to a service member, and I wouldn't change our life, but when you are "all grown up" and so far from your family....sometimes you realize you are truly alone!

How to tame the "Laundry Monster"

My husband and son aren't allergic to anything, but they have some of the most sensitive skin of anyone I've ever met. We use cloth diapers and wipes because every brand of disposable seems to make him red somehow, and the wipes have just water on them just to keep it as chemical and fragrance free as we can. So, in desperation, and in an attempt to see if it could actually be a cheaper alternative to the store brands of detergent I searched the internet for a laundry soap recipe. We used to use ARM and Hammer free and clear, and this one seemed the closest to that, and it had no fragrances.

WWW.thesimpledollar.com: this is where I got the original recipe, but I do add stuff to mine that this guy doesn't.

Need: 5 gallon bucket with a lid, 1C washing soda, 1/2C borax, 1 bar soap (any brand, I use ivory or fels naptha), 3gallons of water+4C, long dowel to stir ingredients in the bucket, 2qt saucepan for making soap mixture, grater for the soap

Instructions: Put 4C water in the saucepan and heat until boiling. While water is boiling grate the bar of soap. Turn water down and slowly add soap flakes. Stir every so often until soap has completely dissolved. Add 3 gallons of water to the bucket(when using fels naptha fill to the top of the bucket after adding soap mixture as it is a very large bar), hot is best. Add washing soda, soap solution from the pan, borax, and baking soda to the bucket. Stir lightly to dissolve so that you don't create too many bubbles. Let mixture stand for 24hours, or until cooled completely, with the lid on it.
Consistancy will vary, it can be jelly-like or very watery with chunks. Any consistancy is fine, color will vary depending on what bar of soap you choose. Mix with the dowel before each use.
*1C of detergent per load. Can also be put directly on stains as a pretreater.
A single batch makes approximately 52 loads worth of detergent or more.

Three little words

Before we had our first son I sat my husband down and had a discussion with him. It was about three important words. No, I'm not talking about "I love you", even though those three words are important for couples to tell eachother every day...even if you are so angry with them that you want to hit them! The three words I'm talking about are "I NEED YOU". Now, I know that may sound like a purely "lets go to the bedroom.." statement, and it certainly can be, but to me it means more than that.
When we had our discussion I told him that I didn't want us to get so caught up in being parents that we forgot about eachother. As a couple you have "needs": time, affection, intimacy, and countless other things from eachother. Sometimes we forget to tell eachother "I need you". It's one of the simplest sentences that you can say, and yet it can mean everything, especially when you are so preoccupied with the things you have to do every day.
Men, we aren't mind readers and if you need us we may not notice between loads of laundry and diaper changes, so tell us in our ear while giving us a hug like its a big secret; guaranteed to get our attention...and Ladies, sometimes those words are hard for both of you to say but sometimes he needs to hear it too, so sit on his lap like your kids do, and tell him!

When "someday" becomes TODAY.

Yesterday as I was making bread I broke my hand mixer. I had mentioned to my husband, off and on for a few months now, that "someday" I would love to have a Kitchenaid stand mixer. He remembered every time he saw one in a store and would look in the paper to see what kind of sales they have on them because he agreed that it would be a great help to me in the kitchen, especially since he enjoys me making our bread now as opposed to the store bought kind. As things sometimes go..."someday" became TODAY!
I asked him this morning what we were going to do since I'm trying to get a few loaves of bread on hand for when I go into labor, to help make things easier. He said that he was gonna go out today and get the mixer I wanted.
I love how we discuss "needs vs want" to make decisions like this...and it was determined to be a need, so off we went to get it! I am truly blessed to have a husband who doesn't just look at things and assume, he takes the time to see the bigger picture.

Put your heart into it...

When we went to visit family last Christmas we stopped by my cousin's house. She has three boys, and stays home to take care of, and school them. The morning after we got there she made these awesome muffins, and told me about her blog so I could find the recipe. (assortment is the name of her blog)...I looked at it and got several recipes, not to mention a healthy dose of inspiration.
What I thought, and continue to see, is that she put her whole heart into everything to do with her family. From planning birthday parties to the simplest of tasks...making food.
I realized that's what's missing in most of our daily life...our heart! No, I don't mean romance, I mean joy and sacrifice. We have a hard time doing thing just because we can without expecting a little return for our sacrifice. That's not how we show our heart, and I'm resolved to try in everything I do for my boys and my husband, to put my whole heart in it! I may fall short some days, but trying is what makes all the difference.

A lot to catch up on in such a short time, we've been busy!

As you can see it's been some time since I've posted anything. In the last few months our son turned one, finally began to walk, and is now determined that running will be his next feat accomplished in toddler-hood.

I have discovered a few new recipes that I may share very soon; some edible and some not. I have also become very pregnant...but we all knew that was going to happen a couple months ago ;-). I also got a chance to cook my very first thanksgiving dinner all on my own! I have now reached 37 weeks, so we now have a "full-term" baby, PRAISE GOD! With this week comes several blessings, but it also brings a lot of worries. I feel like we are inconveniencing people with the timing, even though I think that our son's Christmas day due date is such a special present for us, and someday I hope he would feel the same. I have discovered that pleasing everyone one is impossible, but it would be nice to feel that we were important to some people who seem to be so pessimistic about everything...the weather near the delivery day, the cost of trying to be here for us, ect. I'm ready to just tell people that we are going to do it all ourselves and that they don't need to worry about us!

My husband is acclimating to his new job, but this new schedule is a hard adjustment for us, especially since I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat at this point in the pregnancy. He's on nights, which means that when he wants to come home and tell me how work went he can't wake me. We will get thru it, and probably come to enjoy this schedule in the end.

Back to the new normal

welcomeFinally!!!.....my hubby is home from school! We're slowly getting back into our old routines, or as similar to them as we can as we all try to adjust to a new job...in a new squadron.
We are now officially halfway thru the pregnancy as well, and last week got a chance to find out the gender.....drum roll please....IT'S ANOTHER BOY!
Our other boy is going to be one year in about 3 weeks, and we are hoping to be with family to celebrate. I have no doubt that he will LOVE digging into a cake all on his own :-)...yes I'm one of those people who thinks that is cute. You're only 1 once, why not?
With age comes character...and our son has it in spades. He does everything on his own timetable. He doesn't seem to think that walking is his thing just yet, but we still try. Every "milestone" has come on his terms....man I love babies lol! He's starting to notice that my belly is growing, and after 6 months of not breastfeeding and not seeming to miss it at all he now has tried to mouth them and has been pawing at them....sorry buster they are brokedown until the next baby gets here.
Life goes on lol....

4 day weekends are never long enough!

When you are in school a 4 day weekend is long and relaxing. You have no school, no homework, sometimes no job to go to, and all that is required is that u pick up after yourself and try not to drive your mother crazy in those extra days. Then you grow up and discover that they are not as fun now as they were then.
You spend all day before it starts anticipating it, the first day is awesome! The second day is good because you realize It's half gone, but that still means the other half is in front of you. The third is ok but you feel a little dread knowing that the fun will only last until tomorrow. Then we get to the last day, no joy to be found and it feels like work to even try to get out of your funk....that's where I am today.
My husband drove down to where the training is, but the minute we crossed the state line I could feel my mood change and so did my husband.
Our son screamed from the time he got out of the car until we were 10 minutes from home. I can't wait til this TDY IS OVER!

Celebration

My husband is home for the long weekend. This is the first time he's been home since he went to training in May, but not the first time he's gotten to see us. It's amazing how different it feels to have him home versus going to visit him where his training is.
It felt like it should have been Christmas the next day, the night before we went to pick him up. It was as if I hadn't seen him in months when it had only been a couple weeks. He was even more relaxed and goofy than I had seen him be since before he left.
10th month old boys have this amazing memory when it comes to their daddy I found out as well. He acted so starved for his.daddy's attention, you would think that mommy never paid any attention to him. His whole face lit up and before daddy even said anything to him he was giggling and moving, trying to get at him, even though all attemps were useless while in the carseat. He went down for a nap with the least amount of fussing I've heard in some time, and sleeps much more soundly. I guess even he feels better and safer when daddy is home.
Our new baby, that I'm 15 weeks pregnant with also wanted to do a little attention getting of his/her own with daddy and kicked me over and over again this morning. This is the first time during this pregnancy that I have felt the baby do that. I love our little show-offs!

motivation

I never used to have a problem being motivated to do things. I found, after I got married that the more my husband was gone, the less motivated I became to do the things that I normally would.
I have to find a way to get myself out of the "deployment funk"....but on the bright side he's not out of the country and we get to spend the whole holiday weekend together.
He has requested "real food" to be the menu for the weekend which is husband speak for all his favorite meals that u make when he is home normally...this, of course fans a woman's pride, which is nice every now and then!
He has also tried to be thoughtful and take me on a date by ourselves, but holidays being what they are, it has now turned into a family date where we will try to get our son to sit happily thru Eclipse and then go to dinner....it matters not that we have to bring the baby I'm just happy that my husband is willing to sit in on what most men consider girl movies just because he knows I like them...I believe that I am blessed!

our basset-chewy

iWe found our dog outside our house in Feb of this year. Our son was 5 months old and the thing that sealed the deal for us to keep him was that when our son would nap he would go lay at the foot of his crib til he woke up and then let us know by whining. The dog still is good with our son, who is now 9 months old, but we have come to find that he's one of the quirkiest dogs either of us have ever encountered
We caught him trying to climb into the livingroom window to sit on the sill like a cat, who is 1/4 his size, he promptly fell out but has tried again countless times since then.
He seems to be the only vegetarian dog in existence. He will eat watermelon off the floor, but if you drop meat he sniffs at it and walks off.
And now we come to the current time. My husband is obviously HIS human. While my husband is at work, even though I'm there, he whines and paces until he drives me crazy and I put him out. When my husband comes home though he magically stops. Now, my husband is TDY and the dog is beside himself. He won't eat very much, he whined the whole first week after my husband left, and the dog still thinks I'm chopped liver and that my only purpose is to let Jim out every now and then.

pregnancy and tricare

I had little difficulty with tricare when I was pregnant with our son, but this pregnancy has just begun and nothing is going well. I'm allergic to one type of medicine they prescribe for nausea, so I have to use the more expensive kind. I can't seem to get my meds refilled, which I was able to do before. I don't understand how narcotics are not only refilable and usually don't have a cap on how many you can take, but a medicine designed for pregnant women is policed as if it were made of solid gold. How do you fight something like this? What am I supposed to do when I get dehydration to the point that I can't take care of my son thee way I need to while my husband is gone? What is it going to take for tricare to realize that sometimes things can't work the way they think they should?

lets start at the very beginning...

...My life as a military wife started November 2008. My husband and I met online, as scary as some have thought that is I never worried about my husband...he gave me his commanders names and let me investigate him! How's that for honesty! In the nearly two years of marriage we have had quite a roller coaster ride. Honeymoon baby, miscarriage, immediately pregnant again, TDYs, a baby in August, family marriages, and fast forward to now...I'm 10 weeks and 6 days pregnant with our second child, who as luck would have it is due the day after Christmas!
With life happening all around I decided I needed an outlet. This blog is for all of you who are in the background, who support your soldier, are a single-married parent on occasion, and who get ignored by the establishment to which your spouses belong because you are "just the civilian wife".