Negative and Positive

I have a pet peeve. It has to do with the descriptive terms "negative" and "positive". I know they have to do with math, and polarity, but they have evolved into a description of people's behavoir.

Anything that they don't like is negativity and anything they like is positivity. I find this to be a cop-out. It is generally used so that people don't have to actually address specific behavior and generalize it instead. And at the end they usually add something like "we need to act like adults"...well lets try this shoe on for size....adults address problems! Not just generalize them so that you don't have to confront someone. Why make everyone feel like you are being mean and that you never do anything wrong ever!

This is especially said amongst people in the military. We are the "free to be you and me military"...unless you are in uniform, of course. But, the spouses must always act politely to eachother, or they are ostracised and ignored like yesterday's garbage.

I don't believe in negativity or positivity...I believe in right and wrong! I believe that if you have a problem with something and you make such a generalization to a group about "someone's" behavior that you need to either explain it, or keep it to yourself because otherwise it makes you look like a jerk! And using such strong arming tactics as deleting people who won't adhere to your precious "guidelines" because they didn't meet your standards is wrong and rude! It creates and atmosphere of fear, and we fear enough as military spouses....we shouldn't do such things to eachother!

Have I been deleted from such groups, no, but I think that recent comments have made me consider distancing myself from the groups who have placed such restrictions on members. We are eachother's support! And we can't do that if we are so busy trying to control everything that we miss the opportunities.

Are there some out to make trouble? Always! Should they be dealt with? If they can't be looked over, yes! Treating eachother better than you treat yourself shouldn't be the "golden rule" as we teach our kids, it should just happen...it's like breathing! You have to think about rules...you don't have to think about breathing!

I Appreciate You....

My husband likes to hear that he's a good dad and husband. It's not for his vanity, it is because he needs me to tell him, its one of his love languages.

He helps me with dishes....I appreciate you!
He puts in the laundry, or brings the dry stuff in....I appreciate you!
He remembers something I reminded him....I appreciate you!

Notice a theme?...I appreciate him! Even when he doesn't do the things that I ask, I try to point out ANYTHING I can find that he DID do. Marriage isn't a baseball game....there is no "fair" or "foul", no 3 strikes you are out, and if you are keeping track of his batting average....then, admit it, you are looking for things to fuss about.

I have heard women say that they are carrying all the weight in their marriages, when in reality, they are missing the things that their spouse is doing because they are too busy keeping score to see the tiny home-runs! Marriage isn't 50/50, its on a sliding scale....sometimes its 95/5 or 52/48....but in the end, your effort together equals 100%, which in math land also equals 1! 1 marriage, 1 couple, 1 team...you are 1!

Marriage is a parallel to God's relationship to us, and he said that we are to forgive 70x7....its a little like 24/7, 365 days a year for the next 50+ years. Appreciate your men! Tell them every chance you get, even for the small stuff, and forgive them for the things they don't do!

How will I be with three?

Less than one week after finding out about our blessing, and this question has been asked a lot. How will I be with three babies, instead of two? I would like to say that I would be just as I am right now, but I would be wrong.

I have discovered that love and skill multiply with multiple babies. The more self-sufficient your older ones, the less you have to worry, right? Wrong! There is a "flow" you have to learn when you get a new little being in your life. You literally have to re-learn how to make things go, and because babies are adaptable, they will be swept along.

I believe that is why people adhere to the two-year baby schedule. They believe that getting one out of diapers, or nearly out, will make their adjustment that much easier. In my own experience, this either works or it doesn't. Sometimes the older one regresses, and then you are more frustrated than when u began.

I'm not worried about my laundry pile, my grocery bill, or even my sanity. I know that if God thinks he can trust me with a new life, then he will "re-wire" me to be able to do what I need to for them. Yes, I do know "how to prevent this", as more and more have been asking, and yes I am VERY excited. Will it be easy, certainly not! Will it be worth every diaper and teen-aged argument, YOU BET! Will I be the mother I planned on being? No, I will be the mother I was MEANT to be!

Marital Musical Inspiration

I am very ecclectic when it comes to my music. I can listen to anything, as long as it catches my ear. These are some songs that inspire me in my own relationship with my husband....we all need a little of this now and then...something to make us look foreward to our 50th :-)

Lee Brice-"Love like crazy"

Dan Seals and Marie Osmond-"Meet Me in Montana"
Starship-"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"

Chicago-"Will you still love me"

Peter Cetera-"Glory of Love"

Scarlet-"Independant Love Song"

Here's a quarter, I just made you a blog jukebox! You're welcome for the slow dances with your hunee ;-)....Goodnight!

Great News!

I told you all a couple weeks ago that a little baby went to heaven...well, we have been blessed again! I'm pregnant! Found out today, after 3 positive home tests and a blood test!

My husband and I are so excited! Our boys are 16 months apart, and this baby, based on my rough calculations because I haven't been to the doctor yet, is going to be around the same. Close, yes, but it has been very good for our boys....they adore eachother!

With baby B number 3 on the way now, we have gotten varing opinions from those we have told......"Do you know that you can use protection?", "Are you trying to win a race or something?", "you are like rabbits!"....just "congratulations!" is my personal favorite :-).

No matter the opinion, my husband and I both believe every baby is welcome. We've been criticised for having a baby a year, but this is how we wanted to do things. And because of reality TV, everyone makes fun of us by calling us the "duggars".....3 children is not 20. And it seems that unless you conform to the "every 2 years" trend in the united states that something is wrong with you.

I say, do what you want! If you want a baby a year, and God sees fit to give you such a gift then, you go girl! If you feel that two years is just perfect for you, that is great! Everyone has their own idea when they want to start their families....Do what works for you! Every baby is a blessing....and I will tell you CONGRATULATIONS!

Sweet Talkin'

My husband may not seem very eloquent. He won't win a spelling bee...his words, not mine, because I know he has a mind like a steel trap. But, sometimes, he says exactly what the "needy, insecure wife" in my brain...you know the one that takes over your body and makes you sound like a shrew sometimes when you feel that they have taken you for granted, or you think that they don't like you anymore....really needs to hear. The best part is that he does it without me even asking, or "fishing" as I call it.

Today, in the bathroom(you would be amazed how many great conversations you can have as a married couple in the bathroom), He sat on the edge of the tub and I asked him if he felt like I was aksing him to help me too much when he was not working. He said that I have the hardest job between the two of us....he spent time alone with the kids recently, ALL DAY, with no one helping him. When I came home that day he was very suprised that I do all that I do.

He has never complained about he house being too dirty, or dishes in the sink, or me still being in my pajamas some days when he gets home from work. He takes it all in stride, and just says, "I love you!" I am so thankful God made him for me! We may not always have "good" days, but our "bad" days are so overshaddowed by the good that once they have passed we really don't remember what we were upset about...Don't you love those arguments, the ones that you can't remember why they were so important to you?

Women, sit back and watch for the sweet talkin' moments. They come and go, but when they are here they are SO worth it! Who knows, maybe yours will be in the bathroom too :-)! Men, anything you can find to compliment your wife on is never too small or insignificant! It can be how she made the mashed potatoes, or that she didn't complain when you flipped from her show to your sports channel, for once, but don't add the "for once" on the end...anything counts and nobody is keeping score!

Independance

Independence is the theme of the day! The rights we have acquired through that independence are being protected by the men and women who we are married to.

Men and women who earn no overtime, no bonuses for a job well done, and sometimes no raises. Who know that a 3am phone call may mean 1 hour until "wheels" up...who, for on important holidays such as today, have to be prepared "just in case". The "just in case" meaning that our freedoms have once again been threatened. I say thank you!

Thank you and your spouses for being willing. Thank you for being the strong spouse, even when you don't feel like it. Thank you for our independence! Our 235 year legacy is still going on because of you!

Happy Independence day to all of you!

Hi, my name is Nicole...

....and I LOVE picture day! My husband has figured out, in 2 1/2 years of marriage, that I love having family pictures in our house. I don't get excited over much in the way of decorations...my pictures are my decorations. And, thanks to military discounts at certain picture studios, we are capable of getting them done for little milestones in our life.

This time the milestone was our youngest now being a big 6 month old....

THAT is one of the three best smiles in the world, yes I am biased!

And here is our baby man wearing daddy's hat...SO CUTE!

It's amazing! 16 months apart, and they actually like eachother....blessed with babies who get along so well!

And here we all are. the brunettes and the blondes...

And, in honor of this weekend...and because we are proud of Daddy....we did a flag background picture! Happy Independance Day weekend!!!