A friend of mine in Maryland called my boys this when our baby man was born. Why, because one is a blonde and the other is a brunette! But, three months later I have come to see that this is also true of their personalites.
Little man is 19 months. He is the blonde, and that's one of the only reasons he looks like me. He's my binky baby, and one in the hand and one in the mouth is how he rolls! I knew from the moment I felt him move that he was going to be a tornado as soon as he could walk, and I was right. He taught himself how to push the kitchen chair to the light switch the other day, so he could turn it off....he's brilliant too! We are only beginning and I'm already scared that he may give me a run for my money.
Baby man is the brunette. He's not the life of the party like his brother, but he can make his presence known. He's my crafty one, but he's subtle about it. I much prefer them getting used to binkies instead of thumbs, so he's had one since he was born. About a month ago he started sneaking his thumb into his mouth while he was sleeping, and now it's progressed to anytime. Out comes the binky...in goes the thumb, and then he just stares at me!
He's also my cuddler. I knew this was going to be, even before he got here. When people would poke my belly to try to get him to move, he would just sit there and not perform for them. His brother, on the other hand, wanted them to stop touching him and would beat the heck out of my stomach in response...not that a baby that size can do much other than jab with an elbow, or dance on your bladder, but it still hurts some!
Two babies, who look alike in the face, but act so different. It's certainly going to be an adventure!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Honesty
Oh how I miss the days when honesty came easily...this would be somewhere between birth and 1st grade. For some reason first grade is the turning point for some, they turn into, for lack of a better word, liars.
I know I lied to my mother, I've had the discipline to prove it, but I try hard to not lie to people. Honesty is the best policy, haven't we all heard that?
In this time people have a hard time with honest people. They are looked upon as either rude or pushy if someone doesn't like what they say, or they are praised for faning someone's pride. I guess I have been percieved both ways, generally the rude and pushy side. My thinking is...don't ask me the question if you don't want me to answer it!
Thankfully my husband, as he puts it, is also "as subtle as a chainsaw" and doesn't critique my answers to his questions. He tells me what he thinks and I tell him what I think. If we disagree it's with love, and will be gotten over shortly.
My least favorite part of this lack of honesty epidemic is when people do something in response to your comment, and you find out that they have "erased" you from their sphere of friends. I guess it's their loss, but it still is a rotten thing to do....especially after they tell you it was ok!
I can't abide liars, now, or ever. I will teach our children to say what they mean and mean what they say. I know they will come across people who act similar to the one who "kicked me out" of their life over a misunderstanding on their part, but that will show them who their real friends are, and real friends are hard to find.
I know I lied to my mother, I've had the discipline to prove it, but I try hard to not lie to people. Honesty is the best policy, haven't we all heard that?
In this time people have a hard time with honest people. They are looked upon as either rude or pushy if someone doesn't like what they say, or they are praised for faning someone's pride. I guess I have been percieved both ways, generally the rude and pushy side. My thinking is...don't ask me the question if you don't want me to answer it!
Thankfully my husband, as he puts it, is also "as subtle as a chainsaw" and doesn't critique my answers to his questions. He tells me what he thinks and I tell him what I think. If we disagree it's with love, and will be gotten over shortly.
My least favorite part of this lack of honesty epidemic is when people do something in response to your comment, and you find out that they have "erased" you from their sphere of friends. I guess it's their loss, but it still is a rotten thing to do....especially after they tell you it was ok!
I can't abide liars, now, or ever. I will teach our children to say what they mean and mean what they say. I know they will come across people who act similar to the one who "kicked me out" of their life over a misunderstanding on their part, but that will show them who their real friends are, and real friends are hard to find.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
One Down!
So, as I have said before, owing money to people or banks has always been an issue for me. I don't enjoy being indebted to someone else, and I would hope that you are much the same. Today we got rid of some debt!!!
No, it's not anything ridiculous, it was just something that most people have. A car payment.
This car is the one that my husband bought about 3 months before we got married. He bought it because we knew we wanted to start trying to have a baby, and his other car was a 2 door that was nearly on its last legs. So, he upgraded.
we have been married 2 1/2 years, and refinanced shortly after we got married. I have to say, paying a loan off for a brand new car plus some negative equity from the previous car in that period of time is AWESOME!!!
Yes, I am excited. We put our tax money to good use, and we rewarded ourselves with breakfast after we paid it off.
What's funny is that we got in a discussion with the teller at the bank and she was shocked that we were going to pay it off so quickly....then we asked her to pull out our tithe money. Yes, we do tithe off of our taxes.
We tithe 10%, and if you would like to read about why we do you can click on the link I created for you.
She saw the amount and her eyes got really big. Then she said, "I tithe, but you tithe way more than I do". My husband explained to her our reasoning, and she seemed to agree, now wether she does or doesn't we will never know. But, I'm glad that we got to share something like this with someone!
I think that God can put you in a place you never thought you could share. We had recieved a blessing...being able to pay off the car...and we tithed. We showed her both sides of the coin. Giving with no expectation of a blessing, and how God works in helping us reach our goals.
No, it's not anything ridiculous, it was just something that most people have. A car payment.
This car is the one that my husband bought about 3 months before we got married. He bought it because we knew we wanted to start trying to have a baby, and his other car was a 2 door that was nearly on its last legs. So, he upgraded.
we have been married 2 1/2 years, and refinanced shortly after we got married. I have to say, paying a loan off for a brand new car plus some negative equity from the previous car in that period of time is AWESOME!!!
Yes, I am excited. We put our tax money to good use, and we rewarded ourselves with breakfast after we paid it off.
What's funny is that we got in a discussion with the teller at the bank and she was shocked that we were going to pay it off so quickly....then we asked her to pull out our tithe money. Yes, we do tithe off of our taxes.
We tithe 10%, and if you would like to read about why we do you can click on the link I created for you.
She saw the amount and her eyes got really big. Then she said, "I tithe, but you tithe way more than I do". My husband explained to her our reasoning, and she seemed to agree, now wether she does or doesn't we will never know. But, I'm glad that we got to share something like this with someone!
I think that God can put you in a place you never thought you could share. We had recieved a blessing...being able to pay off the car...and we tithed. We showed her both sides of the coin. Giving with no expectation of a blessing, and how God works in helping us reach our goals.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Valuable
I have heard of a lot of women recently who seem to not know how valuable they are. I don't mean they are worth money, I mean that they are WORTH more than what they settle for.
Why would you barter yourself to get what you want....they have names for that, and none are kind. Why would you allow someone to treat you as less than a person, and then still wish you were with them after they turn you out?
I spent a long time "alone" before I started dating, at least as alone as you cal be with a twin :-). I knew what I was looking for, and I knew what was going to be allowed. I also knew that if a man only valued me for things that are fleeting, like beauty or my body, that he wasn't the one that God had made for me!
They say that girls learn their value from their father. His job is to let them know they are pretty, and perfect just the way they are. And for those who have only a mom, the same can be learned from her, or even grandpa would do.
Moms, please teach your daughters to love themselves! No, I don't mean being so obsessed with yourself that you make people uncomfortable. I mean, contentment, and peace in who they are. They will choose much more wisely when they are dating if these things are in place.
Ladies, you are VALUABLE! I pray that you wait, however long it may take, and learn your own worth before you go looking for it in another's eyes. They will always see you differently than you see yourself, and sometimes their perception may be a little off.
I don't put verses from the bible here often, but this is exactly how I think we, as women, would like to be seen--Proverbs 31:10-31, THE VIRTUOUS WIFE.
Why would you barter yourself to get what you want....they have names for that, and none are kind. Why would you allow someone to treat you as less than a person, and then still wish you were with them after they turn you out?
I spent a long time "alone" before I started dating, at least as alone as you cal be with a twin :-). I knew what I was looking for, and I knew what was going to be allowed. I also knew that if a man only valued me for things that are fleeting, like beauty or my body, that he wasn't the one that God had made for me!
They say that girls learn their value from their father. His job is to let them know they are pretty, and perfect just the way they are. And for those who have only a mom, the same can be learned from her, or even grandpa would do.
Moms, please teach your daughters to love themselves! No, I don't mean being so obsessed with yourself that you make people uncomfortable. I mean, contentment, and peace in who they are. They will choose much more wisely when they are dating if these things are in place.
Ladies, you are VALUABLE! I pray that you wait, however long it may take, and learn your own worth before you go looking for it in another's eyes. They will always see you differently than you see yourself, and sometimes their perception may be a little off.
I don't put verses from the bible here often, but this is exactly how I think we, as women, would like to be seen--Proverbs 31:10-31, THE VIRTUOUS WIFE.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Peace
With all the things we do daily, we can all agree that any moment where we get to concentrate on something other than the laundry timer, or the next feeding is truly a blessing. This is where peace lives!
In our part of the world, spring is officially here! The grass, or whatever that brown stuff that covers the ground in the fall and winter is, is turning green. The pollen is blowing in the breeze, and with it the allergens! But, as the movie made famous...OOOOKLAHOMA, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains! I was never allergic to anything until I moved here!
Our boys are growing like the weeds in our flower beds...that reminds me, I need to dig those up at some point! The weeds, not the boys :-)! And our little man has discovered every little boys' wonderland...THE PARK!!! He thinks he's much bigger than he actually is, and wants to go down the biggest slides, but that can only happen if both mommy and daddy are there. Our baby man is starting to care which person is holding him, and lo and behold, I'm his favorite! kinda makes a mom feel good!
In the middle of our blowing wind and growing boys, I am finding peace. The naps give me time to think, without the veggie tales theme song in the background. And, I am noticing things about oklahoma that I may actually come to like.
Yeah, for peace in the midst of our stormy lives! Times where concentration leads to inspiration! As evidenced by me writing this today :-).
In our part of the world, spring is officially here! The grass, or whatever that brown stuff that covers the ground in the fall and winter is, is turning green. The pollen is blowing in the breeze, and with it the allergens! But, as the movie made famous...OOOOKLAHOMA, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains! I was never allergic to anything until I moved here!
Our boys are growing like the weeds in our flower beds...that reminds me, I need to dig those up at some point! The weeds, not the boys :-)! And our little man has discovered every little boys' wonderland...THE PARK!!! He thinks he's much bigger than he actually is, and wants to go down the biggest slides, but that can only happen if both mommy and daddy are there. Our baby man is starting to care which person is holding him, and lo and behold, I'm his favorite! kinda makes a mom feel good!
In the middle of our blowing wind and growing boys, I am finding peace. The naps give me time to think, without the veggie tales theme song in the background. And, I am noticing things about oklahoma that I may actually come to like.
Yeah, for peace in the midst of our stormy lives! Times where concentration leads to inspiration! As evidenced by me writing this today :-).
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Testing
I've discovered that the military is kind of like one never ending test. If they aren't studying for one, either mentally or physically, they are taking one!
I'm so proud of him! He took one today, and got a really good score! Now we only have one test left to go...and then there won't be another one for 6 months. That will be the longest he's gone without some kind of test for some time now.
My husband is enlisted, and is going to start working on a degree, but he's spent almost all of his first enlistment in one training or another. I don't understand how this can be, but it's just how it's worked out.
He has not deployed yet, but again, that's because of all the studying and testing he's had to do. I know that as soon as his current testing is over the airforce is going to make him "pay up", and then he's going to be deployed.
I'm praying that he gets this chance, he has been wanting to go, and things kept getting in the way. No, he doesn't want to leave me and our boys, but his thinking is that its his duty...and grudgingly I admit that he's right. It's what he signed up for, and as his wife, I hope he gets his chance soon.
I'm so proud of him! He took one today, and got a really good score! Now we only have one test left to go...and then there won't be another one for 6 months. That will be the longest he's gone without some kind of test for some time now.
My husband is enlisted, and is going to start working on a degree, but he's spent almost all of his first enlistment in one training or another. I don't understand how this can be, but it's just how it's worked out.
He has not deployed yet, but again, that's because of all the studying and testing he's had to do. I know that as soon as his current testing is over the airforce is going to make him "pay up", and then he's going to be deployed.
I'm praying that he gets this chance, he has been wanting to go, and things kept getting in the way. No, he doesn't want to leave me and our boys, but his thinking is that its his duty...and grudgingly I admit that he's right. It's what he signed up for, and as his wife, I hope he gets his chance soon.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Apperances are decieving
Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She has broken up with her long-time boyfriend, and of course, it has really hurt her heart. She loved him...but recent events have proven that he may not have felt the same. She told me that she's studying my relationship with my husband because she see's what she was missing. It's flattering, but I wanted to make sure that she knew that appearances can be decieving.
I know I talk a lot about the great parts of my relationship with my husband, but just to let you know....our marriage isn't perfect, but it's OURS!
We argue, we make mistakes, we have hurt eachother's feelings, and sometimes it feels like we disagree a lot. We are normal, and our imperfection makes us human! What makes us an abnormal couple is that we try really hard to not let the disagreements get out of control, and overshadow the fact that our realtionship is built on a foundation a lot stronger than any argument. We believe in God, and he's what holds us together. Things that are not made together to begin with need glue to stick, right? God is our glue!
I am blessed with a husband who wants to work with me, even when I may be unreasonable. I know that is not always the case in some marriages. I believe wholehartedly that he is my match! I also believe that an arguement every now and then can strengthen your relationship...that's why "making up" was invented ;-). We get over it and we move on to the next thing.
I pray that all of you can find your "glue" in your relationships, and that making up is always your priority when things irritate you. There is never a reason to let the little things build into a big thing!
I know I talk a lot about the great parts of my relationship with my husband, but just to let you know....our marriage isn't perfect, but it's OURS!
We argue, we make mistakes, we have hurt eachother's feelings, and sometimes it feels like we disagree a lot. We are normal, and our imperfection makes us human! What makes us an abnormal couple is that we try really hard to not let the disagreements get out of control, and overshadow the fact that our realtionship is built on a foundation a lot stronger than any argument. We believe in God, and he's what holds us together. Things that are not made together to begin with need glue to stick, right? God is our glue!
I am blessed with a husband who wants to work with me, even when I may be unreasonable. I know that is not always the case in some marriages. I believe wholehartedly that he is my match! I also believe that an arguement every now and then can strengthen your relationship...that's why "making up" was invented ;-). We get over it and we move on to the next thing.
I pray that all of you can find your "glue" in your relationships, and that making up is always your priority when things irritate you. There is never a reason to let the little things build into a big thing!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Out with small...in with the bigger
Today I'm going through our boys' clothing. This is probably one of my least favorite tasks. It means our boys have grown up again, which means that soon they won't be my "babies".
I'm not a clingy mom. I don't have to be with them all the time. I don't get upset if people we don't know touch them in walmart. I don't fuss and fret over every fall and injury that isn't serious. They are kids, and I can't protect them from everything.
Growing up is subtle. It sneaks in a quarter inch here, and another pound there. It takes a baby from newborn to crawler and beyond, and toddler into elementary age.
Until I pull out the next size of clothing, and put away what is too small, I don't really focus on this growing going on every day. I'm too busy trying to teach them the things they need to learn for the future.
I know someday all I will have is the pictures of these days, and in my house will be two Men. Maybe still blonde and brunette like they are now, but time will tell. I can't wait to meet the men they will become one day...but I still can be sad that they are not going to be babies much longer.
Midnight diaper changes will be replaced by late night talks with dad, because they just met a girl :-). And when I ask them to give me a hug, I may have to remind them of how strong they really are when they squeeze too hard...mommy will finally be thought of as "breakable".
But I will still remember how tiny they were, and how I still would do anything to keep them safe and feeling loved.
I'm not a clingy mom. I don't have to be with them all the time. I don't get upset if people we don't know touch them in walmart. I don't fuss and fret over every fall and injury that isn't serious. They are kids, and I can't protect them from everything.
Growing up is subtle. It sneaks in a quarter inch here, and another pound there. It takes a baby from newborn to crawler and beyond, and toddler into elementary age.
Until I pull out the next size of clothing, and put away what is too small, I don't really focus on this growing going on every day. I'm too busy trying to teach them the things they need to learn for the future.
I know someday all I will have is the pictures of these days, and in my house will be two Men. Maybe still blonde and brunette like they are now, but time will tell. I can't wait to meet the men they will become one day...but I still can be sad that they are not going to be babies much longer.
Midnight diaper changes will be replaced by late night talks with dad, because they just met a girl :-). And when I ask them to give me a hug, I may have to remind them of how strong they really are when they squeeze too hard...mommy will finally be thought of as "breakable".
But I will still remember how tiny they were, and how I still would do anything to keep them safe and feeling loved.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Love and Like
People get love and like confused all the time. Children are evidence of this confusion within the adults in their life. I have heard children who are upset with another child, or their own parents, and they say "I don't love you anymore!"...who taught them such conditionl love? WE DID!
Love is unconditional. It may change in form, but it's constant and consistant. It can do wonders! It heals hearts and minds, and brings people together that most couldn't have seen together otherwise. It's not designed as a weapon, but sometimes it's weilded like a sword, and can cut much deeper than anyone can see.
You may not always "like" what someone is doing, but You should still love them. This is a large source of confusion for most people.
They feel that if you are irritated with someone for a long time, that you no longer love, or are "in love" with them. How did they come to this conclusion....from the ones who taught them about love of course! Just as hate is taught...love is taught.
Love doesn't go away, it's just overshadowed by other things every now and then. You can make a choice to let the love shine through in spite of the circumstances, or in spite of someone's behavior. Don't let people make you feel guilty for it! Do it anyway!
A friend of ours asked for prayer one day on facebook. A couple days later she posted "thank you for all your prayers! My husband and I like eachother again"...I found this very interesting. These two had been on the verge of divorce at one point in their marriage, now they are 10 years plus! They have grown from their earlier frustrations with eachother and discovered that like and love are mutually exclusive! I hope that we can all do the same thing!
Take a step back....breathe....and love someone in spite of themselves!
Love is unconditional. It may change in form, but it's constant and consistant. It can do wonders! It heals hearts and minds, and brings people together that most couldn't have seen together otherwise. It's not designed as a weapon, but sometimes it's weilded like a sword, and can cut much deeper than anyone can see.
You may not always "like" what someone is doing, but You should still love them. This is a large source of confusion for most people.
They feel that if you are irritated with someone for a long time, that you no longer love, or are "in love" with them. How did they come to this conclusion....from the ones who taught them about love of course! Just as hate is taught...love is taught.
Love doesn't go away, it's just overshadowed by other things every now and then. You can make a choice to let the love shine through in spite of the circumstances, or in spite of someone's behavior. Don't let people make you feel guilty for it! Do it anyway!
A friend of ours asked for prayer one day on facebook. A couple days later she posted "thank you for all your prayers! My husband and I like eachother again"...I found this very interesting. These two had been on the verge of divorce at one point in their marriage, now they are 10 years plus! They have grown from their earlier frustrations with eachother and discovered that like and love are mutually exclusive! I hope that we can all do the same thing!
Take a step back....breathe....and love someone in spite of themselves!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Our Rings
My husband was a flyer when we were first married, and he could wear his wedding ring all day, every day. There were few in his squadron who didn't wear theirs anymore, and it bothered him a lot.
Now, my husband is a mechanic, and he's not allowed to wear his ring. At first he got into a lot of trouble because he kept forgetting to take it off before work started. They consider it a safety hazard, but he and I both consider it much more of a hazard to not wear it whenever we can.
He didn't want to lose it, so he has started giving it to me to wear every day that he can't. Then, he comes home and asks for it back. Every time he puts it back on he smiles at me and says "I DO"...then I say "you already did" :-). So, I guess we get married again every single day! Every day is a renewal, and that's not a bad thing, some days we probably need it!
My mom, in the 17 years she and my dad have been married, has only gone without her wedding ring when it was needing repairs. It always bothered her A LOT! I guess I get my stand from her on this one.
I know the ring is just a symbol...but it was something we gave to eachother, and our marriage is important to us both. They are the outward symbol of an inward change, as someone once told me, we went from ME to WE and we want everyone to know it!
They aren't big and flashy, they are simple and that's exactly how we wanted it. My husband agonized over the ring because he thought I would want something that he couldn't afford at the time, but that's not me! I wanted one that wouldn't scratch me or him, and one that was "me". My mom and my sister helped him in that area.
He wanted one that looked like chrome. Yes, my husband has a thing for cars! And, he wanted tungston. And he loves it!
Wedding rings have become a status symbol. If they aren't "big enough" people think that you haven't gotten what you deserve. Well here's what you "deserve" in marriage....
LOVE, companionship, and teamwork!
Everything else you get is a bonus! Don't sneer at the things that your husband gives you! My favorite necklaces are not diamonds and gold...and they were from my husband! He picked them for me, and they are perfect. I wear them as often as I can because they let him know that I like them, and he feels like he accomplished his goal.
Another one of his love languages is giving me gifts :-).
Now, my husband is a mechanic, and he's not allowed to wear his ring. At first he got into a lot of trouble because he kept forgetting to take it off before work started. They consider it a safety hazard, but he and I both consider it much more of a hazard to not wear it whenever we can.
He didn't want to lose it, so he has started giving it to me to wear every day that he can't. Then, he comes home and asks for it back. Every time he puts it back on he smiles at me and says "I DO"...then I say "you already did" :-). So, I guess we get married again every single day! Every day is a renewal, and that's not a bad thing, some days we probably need it!
My mom, in the 17 years she and my dad have been married, has only gone without her wedding ring when it was needing repairs. It always bothered her A LOT! I guess I get my stand from her on this one.
I know the ring is just a symbol...but it was something we gave to eachother, and our marriage is important to us both. They are the outward symbol of an inward change, as someone once told me, we went from ME to WE and we want everyone to know it!
They aren't big and flashy, they are simple and that's exactly how we wanted it. My husband agonized over the ring because he thought I would want something that he couldn't afford at the time, but that's not me! I wanted one that wouldn't scratch me or him, and one that was "me". My mom and my sister helped him in that area.
He wanted one that looked like chrome. Yes, my husband has a thing for cars! And, he wanted tungston. And he loves it!
Wedding rings have become a status symbol. If they aren't "big enough" people think that you haven't gotten what you deserve. Well here's what you "deserve" in marriage....
LOVE, companionship, and teamwork!
Everything else you get is a bonus! Don't sneer at the things that your husband gives you! My favorite necklaces are not diamonds and gold...and they were from my husband! He picked them for me, and they are perfect. I wear them as often as I can because they let him know that I like them, and he feels like he accomplished his goal.
Another one of his love languages is giving me gifts :-).
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Fair Weather or Foul?
I moved away from Montana four years ago. Away from friends, family, and everything I had known. I would go visit twice a year, and have been blessed to be capable of visiting my family and my husband's since we got married. But, I have BIG trouble in the friend department.
I have a few people I consider my friends here, they know who they are, and I love them for being willing to look past the things that hold other people from trying to get to know me.
I have never understood why people either like me or don't. I've been told I'm "hard to read", " you look angry all the time", "your opinions are very direct and firm"...how people can't appreciate knowing where they stand with someone, or where she stands on a subject is really hard for me. I will take a direct answer over a tactful lie any day!
Then comes the two categories of friends that I seem to attract. The fair weather type, and the ones who seek real friendship. You know, the type where you still talk if you make eachother angry...kinda like sisters.
I have made it my mission to branch out recently, not only to make friends but to help my husband make some too. Even though he is more focused on finding them for me, than himself, so it's my job to help him!
I guess I married someone just like me! He has just as many problems finding people who are true "friends", and also like me, they are generally between 5 and 25 years older than me when he finds them!
I know friendship comes in time, but it never seems to be our time! I see people making plans on facebook, but the invitation is never extended my direction. It just makes me feel that all my efforts are in vain, and that I may never have people like the ones I left in Montana, until we move back there someday.
Being a mom or dad, you want better for your kids. I pray that they will not feel the way my husband and I do sometimes. As if we are just always going to be eachother's only real friend, wherever we may live. Husbands are supposed to be a friend to their wife, but sometimes another female, face-to-face, is needed.
No, I don't need advice, or sypmathy. I just need a place to vent today!
I have a few people I consider my friends here, they know who they are, and I love them for being willing to look past the things that hold other people from trying to get to know me.
I have never understood why people either like me or don't. I've been told I'm "hard to read", " you look angry all the time", "your opinions are very direct and firm"...how people can't appreciate knowing where they stand with someone, or where she stands on a subject is really hard for me. I will take a direct answer over a tactful lie any day!
Then comes the two categories of friends that I seem to attract. The fair weather type, and the ones who seek real friendship. You know, the type where you still talk if you make eachother angry...kinda like sisters.
I have made it my mission to branch out recently, not only to make friends but to help my husband make some too. Even though he is more focused on finding them for me, than himself, so it's my job to help him!
I guess I married someone just like me! He has just as many problems finding people who are true "friends", and also like me, they are generally between 5 and 25 years older than me when he finds them!
I know friendship comes in time, but it never seems to be our time! I see people making plans on facebook, but the invitation is never extended my direction. It just makes me feel that all my efforts are in vain, and that I may never have people like the ones I left in Montana, until we move back there someday.
Being a mom or dad, you want better for your kids. I pray that they will not feel the way my husband and I do sometimes. As if we are just always going to be eachother's only real friend, wherever we may live. Husbands are supposed to be a friend to their wife, but sometimes another female, face-to-face, is needed.
No, I don't need advice, or sypmathy. I just need a place to vent today!
Monday, March 14, 2011
My advice for CD Newbies
As you know, our children wear cloth diapers. Not 26 years ago...my husband's age :-)...people used them as the norm, and were just being introduced to the mainstream disposable. Diaper services were not hard to find, and did the "dirty work" for you.
My Nana has told me that she had three in diapers at the same time, AND she had 12 dozen diapers! Oh my, can you imagine what that stack looked like. I now have 24 diapers fervour boys, and that stack is pretty big to me! She also told me that she hand washed them all!
Now, disposable are convenient, and the norm...but not as cheap as people would like to think. When I started with cloth, I never knew that there was such thing as a cloth diaper "safe" detergent. Or a "safe" diaper rash cream. I just figured that it shouldn't be too hard to use them. I'm on several cloth diaper forums, and its amazing to me how complicated people make it. Not to mention the detergents they use make cloth just as expensive as disposable!
So, here's my advice to newbies....
Find a diaper YOU can live with! I prefer one-size pocket diapers with snaps, or all-in one's. I'm big on only needing to buy one set at a time, and these go from 5-44 pounds depending on the type.
Use the detergent that works for YOU! I have to make ours because all of my men have sensitive skin. Yes, borax is safe for the diapers. If you use the more popular cloth diaper detergents and you love them that's great!
If you are going to use cloth diapers, use cloth wipes too...it just makes more sense and its not any more work. We use microfiber towels from the "car care" aisle at Walmart. Again, cheap, simple, uncomplicated.
Wipes solution can be as simple as water. Anything else will mold after two days. Water can cause mold too, but takes a lot longer.
Buy, or make a wet bag. We never used one until our second baby came, but it really is handy for wet diapers and clothes.
If you travel, you can still use cloth. Wash all diapers right before you leave so that you have your whole stash of diapers clean before you leave. Put a 5gal bucket, or your large wet bag in the trunk, and make sure you have a lid for the bucket. When you stop for the night, put the used ones in the wash at the hotel laundry facilities...simple, and just like at home!
Cloth diapering is not hard, expensive or gross. Don't let proper talk you our of doing what you think is best for you, and your child!
My Nana has told me that she had three in diapers at the same time, AND she had 12 dozen diapers! Oh my, can you imagine what that stack looked like. I now have 24 diapers fervour boys, and that stack is pretty big to me! She also told me that she hand washed them all!
Now, disposable are convenient, and the norm...but not as cheap as people would like to think. When I started with cloth, I never knew that there was such thing as a cloth diaper "safe" detergent. Or a "safe" diaper rash cream. I just figured that it shouldn't be too hard to use them. I'm on several cloth diaper forums, and its amazing to me how complicated people make it. Not to mention the detergents they use make cloth just as expensive as disposable!
So, here's my advice to newbies....
Find a diaper YOU can live with! I prefer one-size pocket diapers with snaps, or all-in one's. I'm big on only needing to buy one set at a time, and these go from 5-44 pounds depending on the type.
Use the detergent that works for YOU! I have to make ours because all of my men have sensitive skin. Yes, borax is safe for the diapers. If you use the more popular cloth diaper detergents and you love them that's great!
If you are going to use cloth diapers, use cloth wipes too...it just makes more sense and its not any more work. We use microfiber towels from the "car care" aisle at Walmart. Again, cheap, simple, uncomplicated.
Wipes solution can be as simple as water. Anything else will mold after two days. Water can cause mold too, but takes a lot longer.
Buy, or make a wet bag. We never used one until our second baby came, but it really is handy for wet diapers and clothes.
If you travel, you can still use cloth. Wash all diapers right before you leave so that you have your whole stash of diapers clean before you leave. Put a 5gal bucket, or your large wet bag in the trunk, and make sure you have a lid for the bucket. When you stop for the night, put the used ones in the wash at the hotel laundry facilities...simple, and just like at home!
Cloth diapering is not hard, expensive or gross. Don't let proper talk you our of doing what you think is best for you, and your child!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Organized?...who?...me?
Now that I'm the "queen of my own castle" I like things organized and clean. When I was younger I liked to dream of this, but being an identical twin I always shared everything...even HER lack of organization. When I was beyond tired of it, I would spring clean our room. I used to get rid of lots of things, and the pack rat in my sister wanted to cut my hands off and hold them hostage so I couldn't get rid of anything! So, I started doing it when she wasn't home :-).
My organization extends to more than just cleaning. When I make a plan to do something its very detailed, and I make a schedule so that I know what I need to do to achieve it. I don't like deviations from the plan, and I will admit my reactions to them are not always calm. But, as when I was sharing with my sister, I now have a husband whom I share with too.
When we met I told him that he was the male version of my sister. No, they don't look alike, but sometimes they certainly act alike. I guess that's just God's way of letting know that I've found my match. And with this pairing, comes a much lesser form of my sister's pack rat behavior and, on occasion, disorganization.
Having two babies also helps in this "organized chaos"...but c'est la vie....believe me my brain likes that phrase much better in French...but, don't we all. It sounds much nicer, and not so foreboding.
I make the plans...and my husband and children teach ne to loosen up...but again, that is life! You see I said it in English, can you hear the smile in my voice?...oh, guess not! But I keep trying to learn to make the most of our madness, and be organized in the one place I know my three handsome men won't mind in the least...my kitchen! The one place where they actually want my plans to work, because they like to eat!
So, make a plan, break the plan, take a deap breath....and push on through! Be organized where you can and flexible where you can't. Nothing is beyond a tiny bit of chaos, and who knows? It may just be the most fun you've ever had!
My organization extends to more than just cleaning. When I make a plan to do something its very detailed, and I make a schedule so that I know what I need to do to achieve it. I don't like deviations from the plan, and I will admit my reactions to them are not always calm. But, as when I was sharing with my sister, I now have a husband whom I share with too.
When we met I told him that he was the male version of my sister. No, they don't look alike, but sometimes they certainly act alike. I guess that's just God's way of letting know that I've found my match. And with this pairing, comes a much lesser form of my sister's pack rat behavior and, on occasion, disorganization.
Having two babies also helps in this "organized chaos"...but c'est la vie....believe me my brain likes that phrase much better in French...but, don't we all. It sounds much nicer, and not so foreboding.
I make the plans...and my husband and children teach ne to loosen up...but again, that is life! You see I said it in English, can you hear the smile in my voice?...oh, guess not! But I keep trying to learn to make the most of our madness, and be organized in the one place I know my three handsome men won't mind in the least...my kitchen! The one place where they actually want my plans to work, because they like to eat!
So, make a plan, break the plan, take a deap breath....and push on through! Be organized where you can and flexible where you can't. Nothing is beyond a tiny bit of chaos, and who knows? It may just be the most fun you've ever had!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Things I have learned about boys
Everyone has their own opinion about which gender of child is "harder" to raise. Hard being a judgement based on which child they had more struggles with. But, since I only have boys at this time, I will tell you what I have learned about them in my 2 years of mommyhood.....
....Boys, and men in general, produce much more laundry than females. Yes, I do take into account the fact that we have a newborn and cloth diapers. I grew up in a house of females, and in a house with 4 women there were always more white briefs and t-shirts in the laundry than our stuff.
....Boys are just as sensitive as girls. There is nothing wrong with crying when you are sad or hurt!
....Boys believe that everything that is higher than the floor is a "step" and MUST BE USED! This is an absolute must!
....Boys can find something you hid while they were napping, even if you hid it in a "parent only zone"
....Boys are born with a need to be like their daddy. If my husband crosses his arms, our little man crosses his.
....Boys have two first loves. Trains and cars!
....And to finish
my list...Cammo completes any outfit!
....Boys, and men in general, produce much more laundry than females. Yes, I do take into account the fact that we have a newborn and cloth diapers. I grew up in a house of females, and in a house with 4 women there were always more white briefs and t-shirts in the laundry than our stuff.
....Boys are just as sensitive as girls. There is nothing wrong with crying when you are sad or hurt!
....Boys believe that everything that is higher than the floor is a "step" and MUST BE USED! This is an absolute must!
....Boys can find something you hid while they were napping, even if you hid it in a "parent only zone"
....Boys are born with a need to be like their daddy. If my husband crosses his arms, our little man crosses his.
....Boys have two first loves. Trains and cars!
....And to finish
my list...Cammo completes any outfit!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Prayer....unlimited, and a bullseye every time!
I know people are quick to ask for, and offer prayer, as a way to comfort someone or show their support. Some mean it, and some are just offering up some lipservice. Thankfully our god hears our prayers, and it doesn't matter who it is, so long as they are talking to God.
Prayer is our most powerful weapon. It can tear down walls, and make a path when all you see before you is a forest. It unlimited, and free!
Is every prayer answered when, or the way we want?....no. But God doesn't forget a single one.
I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe that miracles happen. And I believe in God, and I know that he does not leave us on our own when we are drowning in our daily struggles.
Believe, pray, and trust that the trials of today will be the victories of the future!
Prayer is our most powerful weapon. It can tear down walls, and make a path when all you see before you is a forest. It unlimited, and free!
Is every prayer answered when, or the way we want?....no. But God doesn't forget a single one.
I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe that miracles happen. And I believe in God, and I know that he does not leave us on our own when we are drowning in our daily struggles.
Believe, pray, and trust that the trials of today will be the victories of the future!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
From Selfish to Selfless
When you are young everything is about YOU! Toddlers are a perfect example of this. But as you grow up, hopefully, you start to realize that sometimes its about putting someone else first.
I took care of children for a long time before I had some of my own....12 years actually. I would have done whatever it took to keep them safe and cared for, even though they were not mine! But, after I had our first son, I realized that my feeling of protectiveness had gotten much stronger.
Selflessness seems to be the byproduct of parenthood. Sometimes your selfishness of younger years peaks through, but in the end your babies come first. Their needs and wants are foremost in your mind, even at your own expense.
Women tend to no longer have hot meals...because you have to feed the baby first. Daddies have to spend a lot longer saving for their toys because they want to buy something for their babies.
If they weren't your children this relationship where you give, and give, and give with no expectation of it being reciprocated would seem strange...but that is the life of a parent!
I took care of children for a long time before I had some of my own....12 years actually. I would have done whatever it took to keep them safe and cared for, even though they were not mine! But, after I had our first son, I realized that my feeling of protectiveness had gotten much stronger.
Selflessness seems to be the byproduct of parenthood. Sometimes your selfishness of younger years peaks through, but in the end your babies come first. Their needs and wants are foremost in your mind, even at your own expense.
Women tend to no longer have hot meals...because you have to feed the baby first. Daddies have to spend a lot longer saving for their toys because they want to buy something for their babies.
If they weren't your children this relationship where you give, and give, and give with no expectation of it being reciprocated would seem strange...but that is the life of a parent!
Monday, March 7, 2011
College and me...
When I was in highschool I KNEW I wanted to be a nurse. So, I took medical science, and the certified nurses' aid course. I did rounds at the nursing home...and discovered that I wasn't cut out for that type. I really wanted to work in the main hospital...in OB. Then, I graduated and already had a job as a waitress, so I stayed there.
I quit there a year later, and became a personal care attendant. I liked that work...still not going to college...but they kept sending me to places where I just didn't feel safe. So, I became a nanny....and two years later I was going to be married.
Still, no college, but I don't feel like I failed.
These days, if you don't have a degree, people don't feel that you are "worthy" or that somehow you have no ambition or brains. This is not the case with me. I have ambitions, I haven't "given up"...I just have new priorities, and new dreams!
I would like to do photography, and to become a doula.
I know that if things "go wrong" I will go get a job and do what I need to, but I have faith that its not going to come to that. People hear about our current struggles and it seems as if they are trying to be mean...but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume that's not the case.
We Will be exactly where God wants us to be. If that's with my husband still a part of the military, with me at home with our boys, the that's it....if its some other scenario, He will lead us in that direction.
I'm no quitter! I haven't given up on my schooling...it will still be there when I'm not as needed right where I am!
I quit there a year later, and became a personal care attendant. I liked that work...still not going to college...but they kept sending me to places where I just didn't feel safe. So, I became a nanny....and two years later I was going to be married.
Still, no college, but I don't feel like I failed.
These days, if you don't have a degree, people don't feel that you are "worthy" or that somehow you have no ambition or brains. This is not the case with me. I have ambitions, I haven't "given up"...I just have new priorities, and new dreams!
I would like to do photography, and to become a doula.
I know that if things "go wrong" I will go get a job and do what I need to, but I have faith that its not going to come to that. People hear about our current struggles and it seems as if they are trying to be mean...but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume that's not the case.
We Will be exactly where God wants us to be. If that's with my husband still a part of the military, with me at home with our boys, the that's it....if its some other scenario, He will lead us in that direction.
I'm no quitter! I haven't given up on my schooling...it will still be there when I'm not as needed right where I am!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Things you dont have to teach
My oldest constantly amazes me! He does things all the time that I never taught him.
Like....
He kept, somehow, getting his baby brother's blanket out of the crib. I tried shoving it against the other side and he still would have it with him after nap. The other day my husband saw him climbing on the side of the crib, and because he's already 3 feet tall it helps him reach any part of the crib he wants.
He never used to be a picky eater. Then he started spitting food out if he didn't want to eat it. He is past the spitting now, but if its green he thinks its spinach and tries to refuse it, and if its red food he thinks its tomatoes. We are currently working on this.
When he hugs me he pats my shoulder...its so cute!
When he wants to cuddle with me he tries to climb me like a tree, or if I have brother in my lap he sits between my legs on the footrest.
And his newest is camping in our room. Every night, sometime after midnight, he drags his blanket into our room and makes it into a bed for himself at the foot of our bed. I have almost stepped on him a couple times now. Then, sometime around 5 or six am he comes to either side of the bed and wants to climb in with us.
I know there are many more like these to come...welcome to our adventure!
Like....
He kept, somehow, getting his baby brother's blanket out of the crib. I tried shoving it against the other side and he still would have it with him after nap. The other day my husband saw him climbing on the side of the crib, and because he's already 3 feet tall it helps him reach any part of the crib he wants.
He never used to be a picky eater. Then he started spitting food out if he didn't want to eat it. He is past the spitting now, but if its green he thinks its spinach and tries to refuse it, and if its red food he thinks its tomatoes. We are currently working on this.
When he hugs me he pats my shoulder...its so cute!
When he wants to cuddle with me he tries to climb me like a tree, or if I have brother in my lap he sits between my legs on the footrest.
And his newest is camping in our room. Every night, sometime after midnight, he drags his blanket into our room and makes it into a bed for himself at the foot of our bed. I have almost stepped on him a couple times now. Then, sometime around 5 or six am he comes to either side of the bed and wants to climb in with us.
I know there are many more like these to come...welcome to our adventure!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Finger Paint
So when you become a mom you know some days will test your self control...today was one of those days!
I put our little man down for a nap. He usually makes a fuss, but its not a big deal. Today he just didn't settle down, so I went to get him.....
Now, I didn't hear anything strange, but when I opened the door I knew what he had been doing! HE HAD BEEN FINGER PAINTING WITH POOP! Ok, I consider myself a "seasoned" kid watcher, and I've seen just about everything you can think of....but of course my own child had to be the one to throw something new my way.
Every day with your kids is an adventure. Some adventures are great, and some are not. Some make you laugh and others make you wish you could dip the WHOLE house in bleach...but these are (as the soap opera has made famous) the "days of our lives!"
My 18 month old threw me for a loop...betcha I'm not the only one this happens to :-)
I put our little man down for a nap. He usually makes a fuss, but its not a big deal. Today he just didn't settle down, so I went to get him.....
Now, I didn't hear anything strange, but when I opened the door I knew what he had been doing! HE HAD BEEN FINGER PAINTING WITH POOP! Ok, I consider myself a "seasoned" kid watcher, and I've seen just about everything you can think of....but of course my own child had to be the one to throw something new my way.
Every day with your kids is an adventure. Some adventures are great, and some are not. Some make you laugh and others make you wish you could dip the WHOLE house in bleach...but these are (as the soap opera has made famous) the "days of our lives!"
My 18 month old threw me for a loop...betcha I'm not the only one this happens to :-)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
My Biggest Fan
I just started a new business at home. I'm nervous about it not working for me because I tried one a year ago and it flopped! But in spite of my misgivings...I have someone who encourages me in anything. He's my biggest fan...MY HUSBAND!
This business was his suggestion. It's a business where a knowledge of how to cook and use cooking tools is a plus, and he thinks that 99% of what I cook is awesome....I think he's a little biased. His confidence in me is a blessing. He tries so hard to help me make my dreams happen. I try to tell him every chance I get how much I appreciate him.
I hear all the time about husbands and wives who don't offer much support to eachother, and I am so happy that we don't do that to eachother. We are both "words of praise people". If you want to know why I say that, I encourage you to get the book called THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES...it is a great way to find out how best to show love to the people in your life in the way they need it. My husband's two #1s are words of praise and physical touch.
I hope you married your own biggest fan. And I also hope that you thank them for their support...words of praise go a long way!
This business was his suggestion. It's a business where a knowledge of how to cook and use cooking tools is a plus, and he thinks that 99% of what I cook is awesome....I think he's a little biased. His confidence in me is a blessing. He tries so hard to help me make my dreams happen. I try to tell him every chance I get how much I appreciate him.
I hear all the time about husbands and wives who don't offer much support to eachother, and I am so happy that we don't do that to eachother. We are both "words of praise people". If you want to know why I say that, I encourage you to get the book called THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES...it is a great way to find out how best to show love to the people in your life in the way they need it. My husband's two #1s are words of praise and physical touch.
I hope you married your own biggest fan. And I also hope that you thank them for their support...words of praise go a long way!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Oscars
It's all over the news...on the radio...on everyone's mind. The fashion, the jewelry, the hair...the award!
I've never understood what makes one Hollywood award more important than any other...or who actually gets the voting rights. I haven't seen ballot boxes outside of my movie theaters, have you?
I also can't figure out why this particular show had to be on SO LATE! I don't know of anyone who has small children that stayed up that late just to watch something that is not essential to their daily life. I must be strange.
I don't follow the tinsel town adventures, because I have enough of my own. I don't feel the need to pine for the things that someone else has, or the life they lead...most are just plain sad! Lying, cheating, fighting, lawsuits, domestic nightmares of every kind. How can that be something to be jealous of?
I choose to follow my life...the 3am feedings, the cloth diapers, the laundry, the military...I choose reality instead of fantasy!
I've never understood what makes one Hollywood award more important than any other...or who actually gets the voting rights. I haven't seen ballot boxes outside of my movie theaters, have you?
I also can't figure out why this particular show had to be on SO LATE! I don't know of anyone who has small children that stayed up that late just to watch something that is not essential to their daily life. I must be strange.
I don't follow the tinsel town adventures, because I have enough of my own. I don't feel the need to pine for the things that someone else has, or the life they lead...most are just plain sad! Lying, cheating, fighting, lawsuits, domestic nightmares of every kind. How can that be something to be jealous of?
I choose to follow my life...the 3am feedings, the cloth diapers, the laundry, the military...I choose reality instead of fantasy!
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