Sometimes I wonder if my boys like me, or if they just live for the moment that they see those ABUs walk through the door...DADDY! I know they love me, as I am their full time caregiver, but I believe that like and love are two seperate things.
In the time since I last posted we have had some very busy times in our house. I am trucking along in my third triemester in my third preganancy in three years (try to say that 10 times fast) and somewhere in my 35th week my body decides that contractions are ON! So, a trip to labor and delivery and a morphine shot later and I am on "contraction watch" until my 37th week when she has everyone's permission to make her entrance because then she's full term.
And, somewhere in there my husband gets told that he is no longer deploying for a year...so every plan on that end comes to a screeching halt! He still re-enlisted and I am so proud of him, but that means we are still in Oklahoma...exactly the place we planned on dropping like a ton of bricks! We were WANTING to move, and get away from this place! So, we are back on with waiting for the next set of orders...but you can bet I won't believe that it's gonna happen until he takes off, and even then I may not think it's gonna stick...something always happens!
But, now I am 37 and half weeks pregnant! Little miss can come on whenever she wants, and actually we were in the hospital the day before leap day because I was having contractions again...but here it is March 1st and the contractions have stopped, no leap day baby!
Our boys know something is up. McKinzie has been clingy, and his naptimes have been a fight. He wakes up in the night wanting to crawl into our bed, and his eating is up and down...McKinley is starting to want to cuddle, and I think he's teething...Somehow they sense that life is going to change, and their attitudes are a reflection of some sort of toddler anxiety.
Somehow they act like I'm going somewhere...They are hugging me more, and wanting to be cuddled all day. McKinzie has a big problem seeing me in hospital beds we discovered, and tells me very painly "up mommy" when he sees me in one. Somehow I am needed here!
I am their comfort. I am always here. And, as I told my mom today, I must appear very unbreakable in their young eyes. I am MOMMY! I make their food, and give them sippies...kiss boo-boos, and put on "Diego go-go". Kinda feels good to know that I'm not the person in the background...I am a part of their everything!
What made me think of this today was trying to get our boys to nap. I can say I am not in the best of moods....and neither are they...but in the middle of the third tantrum, there was calm. All I saw was my little boy, with tears in his eyes and I realized that what he needed was me! He needed to be held for a bit....my 40 pound baby needed to be rocked by mommy! So I did! I held him, and rocked him, and he just calmed....this is what being needed is!
