God gave me a word, H.U.G, and a mission for me. My mission: to change my heart and mind by seeking him to let these fears go. H.U.G: this is how I'm going to do it.
H-humility, I will seek to live in humility. U-understanding, I will learn to understand God more, and in turn I will understand myself and my purpose more. G- grace, I will show grace to those who have wronged me, and live under that same grace because I AM a child of God. I will do this for 100 days.
Why 100, why not 30 or 60? It has been nearly 6 months since the day that nearly destroyed my marriage. It has taken me this long to realize that I was not really giving all of my fear to God, I was hoarding it because I wasn't trusting that the plan He laid out for us was what was really going to happen. I was trying to control it. So, I will devote half as long as it took to me realize my mistake to making myself over and giving it ALL over to God as I should have. He spoke restoration into our marriage, and that is what He is doing...without my interference from now on.
I will read my bible, daily. I will pray about what the goal for each day is, and I will implement it. I will do this to change myself, because the best thing I can do for my marriage is to seek God.
