1 month down

One month down. We are in our new state, and still staying with my great-aunt and uncle.  This is not where we thought we would be.  We thought our house in Oklahoma would have rented already, that one or both of us would have a full time job, we would be in our own space and waiting patiently for baby #4 to arrive and my husband to go to school in the new year.  Not one of these things has happened, other than waiting on the baby and school.

I know that my family is getting anxious to see us go to our own house, and if we could we would.  I certainly never thought that we would end up "homeless" and depending on others to house us.  It goes against my sense of independence, and my husband's, but our babies are the reason we are working through the frustration and feelings of failure.

We were told that rest is coming, a time of rest?  This would be very nice!  And this week the kids and I are at my mom's house while my husband is staying with my aunt so he can go to work.  Lots of fear and worry have come up in me that I have had to battle hard over the last 24 hours.  Fears of history repeating itself, and my brain either making up or noticing similar "patterns" to the former circumstances....you know what I discovered once I rebuked my depression?

#1 God is guiding our path- there are things happening that would not be able to happen if things had been different this last month.

#2 God blesses those who bless others- we are mandated to share our surplus in the bible...Hebrews 13:16, 1 Timothy 6:18, Luke 3:11, Luke 6:38.  There have been times since our marriage that we have been the ones to bless others, and I literally just realized that we are essentially getting it back in our time of desperate need.

#3 God is keeping His promises....this could take a LONG time to explain all of the ways he is keeping His promises to us

#4 I cannot live by fear- I can't hang onto things so tightly that I shove God out of my way.  I remember telling this to my husband early in our marriage and now I am having to swallow my own pills.

#5 Maybe God really doesn't want me to work outside the home-After countless times of being denied employment recently and LOTS of family telling me that they are starting to believe that I may not be destined to have a job outside of the home, I am starting to believe them.  It would be awesome to know what exactly I should be doing to contribute financially, if anything, though.  So, be in prayer that God would reveal it to me.

5 Years

November 1, 2013.  This date marks 5 years of marriage for me and my husband.  It is 5 years of growing (in more than a few ways) and changing.

3.5 kids, #4 due in 2014.....
1 house, and soon a rental.....
 Enlistment in the Air Force complete....
Move to another state....
Get new jobs, and keep trying to get jobs....
4 different churches so far....
3 dogs, though none are with us now...
1 foster child....and a partridge in a pear tree, right? 

Needless to say, we have learned a lot.  Not all our lessons were fun, but they brought us here. 

I think some marriages weather storms early because God wants the harvest to outlast the growing period.  And, our growing has made it clear that every marriage has a "hard part"...or more than one...and that even if it looks easy, it isn't.  What matters most is that you can still say that you love this person, and it doesn't matter what happened yesterday or 6 months ago.  Forever is still your destination, and this is just the winding road.

I love this man!  I would not change our past though it is easy to say that I wish I could, because without it I would not see the changes in him that I do in our years together.  I prayed for these changes, and they are a blessing to our marriage, so I thank God for them.  My rambling is not to make our marriage seem a disappointment, but to reassure someone like myself that you can look back on the hard parts of a marriage with new eyes.  That you can still love this life you made with your spouse, because it was with them. 

So with all my heart, happy anniversary to my handsome husband!

Still Waiting...

I have been trying not to worry....
I really have been trying...
I have been praying this verse....daily for three weeks....
Last night I realized that it was in fact a verse from the Holy Spirit because someone who was praying for me confirmed that she kept hearing the same verse over and over while they were praying for me.  She didn't even know how much I have struggled with worry...my husband hasn't even known.

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have been praying this in the moments that I feel like I'm going to lose it...
When I argue with my husband about how much I dislike living in my Aunt's living room....
When I realized that we have been here for 3 WEEKS...
When I have to pull the couch out into a bed AGAIN, and sleep on a very well used pull out mattress 29weeks pregnant....
When we have to put the couch back, and put EVERYTHING we own back into our van so that people can actually walk around the living room or even find a seat...
When my two littlest ones have diarrhea because people are not used to being as diligent about checking labels, and they have gotten a hold of something that contains dairy....
When I can see the look on my family's faces when they realize that we still haven't moved out that day, when they get back from work...
When I do dishes or make food in someone else's kitchen, and I don't feel like I can do enough to not be any more of a burden than we are on them...

I want to cry all the time.  My oldest son said he "hates this" yesterday, though I think he was talking about what my uncle was watching on the TV.  I caught myself, mid-admonishment, and realized that he had heard the exact same thing out of my mouth when I was talking to my husband about our current situation. 

I caught a glimpse of myself at church last night, and I look...haggard was all I could think at the time...I know I'm not sleeping well, or probably eating very much.  If you ask my aunt I'm not eating enough, or taking enough time to rest.  How do you rest when it feels like you have so much to do? 
Jobs to find.  Interviews to schedule.  Husband to work.  Kids to be fed and cleaned.  Messes to clean up in a house with 11 people in it...4 of which can't do much to contribute because of their ages.

I'm ready for rest.  Whatever that looks like I'm ready for it.  But here we are, still waiting.  I gave this verse to someone else the other day who was waiting on their husband to decide something that was important to them.  I guess I was just warming up to use it for my family.

 

So we are still waiting.....

Our Whole New Menu

About a month before our big move north, we had to make a drastic change in our family.  With two of three babies, the younger two, having digestive issues with milk and just going lactose free for them was not working very well.  We thought long and hard about shifting our whole family not only to a lactose free, but dairy free menu.  This was going to be HUGE!

Our oldest has quite an affection for dairy in any form.  Milk, cheese, you name it.  Not only that, but we would have to be very diligent about reading labels because dairy sneaks into the strangest places in commercial products.  Casein, Whey, milk, butter, milk powder, and then you have the products that have potentially come into contact with some form of "milk".  We were confused.  We were determined.  We had two, sometimes very miserable, babies that needed everyone in our home on board with changing our lifestyles to make them well.  We jumped right in.

My husband and I both agree that going dairy free for us also meant not diving into soy products because of the risk of lots of exposure to plant based estrogen for our growing young men.  I know lots of men who grew up on soy products, but we decided that was not the way we were going to go.  Our new Vitamix blender became our very best purchase to date in regards to our family.

I could blend up batches of coconut and almond milk.  Make dairy free dressings and sauces in no time, and give our babies a nutritionally dense smoothie every day to help supplement the vitamins that they were no longer receiving from dairy products.  It is a truly fantastic machine, and it is the only way that our family could make it with the price of dairy free milks on the market.  Someday I will share our smoothie recipe, which is pretty versatile, but I usually just throw things in and eyeball it so I will actually have to measure it out in order to do that. 

After one month of being off all forms of dairy our two youngest babies finally were not having the digestive problems of the past.  No diarrhea, which had plagued our middle child for over a year.  No throwing up at least once or twice a week.  Improvement of skin rashes that had begun to develop on both children.  Even their attitude and energy levels improved...all 3 of them benefitted in this way!  The real surprise was that my husband and myself had noticed changes in our own bodies and attitudes.  THIS was the what we needed to do for our family.

Our pediatrician had not felt the need to test our kids for sensitivities or allergies, even when presented with the symptoms, because they were growing and "healthy" otherwise.  But, as a momma it breaks you down to not know why your kids are having some digestive problem, or a strange skin break out, and you don't know what to do about it. 

It was my husband and I that took our middle son off of lactose, with small improvement in his body.  And it was our drive to truly fix the problem and change our entire menu for the entire household, FOR these little people God gave us, that really made the difference.  My husband even had a co-worker get almost angry at him for going dairy free like we did, because he didn't see the point if he wasn't allergic as well.  Like we now tell our oldest child...sometimes you do what is best for the people you care about even if it is an inconvenience to you. This is probably the second greatest lesson we learned by doing this.  The first is to not be afraid to try everything to make your babies well because it is the right thing to do.

Building Our House

A Friday evening drive through the winding roads of Montana. Between our new home town and my old one.  The roads, like our conversation, zig and zag but keep a constant theme of trees and rocks.  Houses dot the area here and there.  And it got us thinking.

We aren't the type that listen to the radio, just to keep the silence at bay, we like to chat while we travel.We discuss lots of things, some serious and others light.  Tonight was a somewhat serious conversation.  Talking of the acts of faith we have taken in the last year; some leaps and others hops, but all have brought us here.  We pondered a sermon that our Oklahoma pastor shared about marriage.

Using a house as an example, he likened men to the foundation.  Strong, solid, meant to bear weight and pressure.  He likened women to the walls.  Meant to be seen, pretty, they complete the look of the house, they are essential to the structure just as the foundation.  One without the other is not complete.

My mind went on....and on with this.

I know the pastor meant this sermon to be an inspiration to the men in our church, to take up their responsibilities and be the foundation of their own families.  I don't think our pastor painted a truly complete picture of a house.  Walls are not made just for being pretty.  Walls are strong, they hold the roof, they bear weight as well.  Eventually they settle into the foundation.  And, after some adjustments, they are one unit.  The house and the foundation will not be moved any more after this, though it may stand for decades it can only truly settle once.  The foundation must settle too, but it must be built on solid ground.  I think all of these are essential points for a marriage as well.

The order of marriage is God, Husband, and wife...and that is how you have to build your house.  Solid ground, Foundation, and Walls.  We are not made to stand alone.  We are made in an order that demands changes, some quick like adding pictures on a wall and others that take time like the settling of a house.  We are meant to be ONE with our spouse, and through the settling of time you will get there. What you put in your house matters too...but we will discuss that later. 

Happy building!

HUG myself for 100 days

  Things happen in marriage to change us, grow us, and teach us.  I learned several lessons 5 months ago, but the biggest lesson came yesterday.  I was not living beyond the circumstances of that day, I was living in fear of it happening again, as if that would keep it from happening.

  God gave me a word, H.U.G, and a mission for me.  My mission: to change my heart and mind by seeking him to let these fears go.  H.U.G: this is how I'm going to do it.

  H-humility, I will seek to live in humility.  U-understanding, I will learn to understand God more, and in turn I will understand myself and my purpose more.  G- grace, I will show grace to those who have wronged me, and live under that same grace because I AM a child of God.  I will do this for 100 days.

  Why 100, why not 30 or 60?  It has been nearly 6 months since the day that nearly destroyed my marriage.  It has taken me this long to realize that I was not really giving all of my fear to God, I was hoarding it because I wasn't trusting that the plan He laid out for us was what was really going to happen.  I was trying to control it.  So, I will devote half as long as it took to me realize my mistake to making myself over and giving it ALL over to God as I should have.  He spoke restoration into our marriage, and that is what He is doing...without my interference from now on.

  I will read my bible, daily.  I will pray about what the goal for each day is, and I will implement it.  I will do this to change myself, because the best thing I can do for my marriage is to seek God.

Strength of a Man

Yesterday was Father's Day. I can say that I may not have been born to the man who I feel had a greater hand in raising me and my sisters, but he's my dad, just as much as my own father. For some this is a sad day of remembrance for someone they lost. Someone who wasn't around, or didn't act like a father should to his children. But, for others it is a true celebration of the title given to men who truly raise their children up.

I have married such a man. He is a FATHER. Up at night, play outside, be patient when he doesn't want to be...father. Our children are blessed to have him. He is laying the groundwork for the fathers I hope our boys become, and the man who our daughter chooses to have a family with. He is laying a foundation of strength, love, and hard work.

Our pastor made reference to how boys play together today in church when he was talking about the role of a father. The wrestling, and rough housing that makes some of us mommas cringe is really a test drive of their manly muscles. They want to know they are strong, capable, and able.

I noticed our boys played much differently than my sister's and myself did as kids. They can be so sick that they don't want to eat or drink, and yet they will get up to wrestle. The weaker they feel the more they are ready to try to take on the world. And, I guess that is their true design.

How do we cultivate this budding manhood in our boys, and still avoid the bleeding and broken bones or coming to real blows. I think that is a balance that must be established early. My step brothers put each other in the ER several times, but always at their mother's house. My husband and his sister did the same because their mom believed in letting them "fight it out". I don't remember doing this to my sisters or any of my boy cousins doing it to their siblings. I think manhood is about strength under control, and that is how I am going to encourage our boys.

A man is capable of hurting someone, but knows he shouldn't and doesn't. A man should also be capable of gentleness, and use it often. There are many layers to strength and not all have to do with muscles, some are about character, and how they treat those they are responsible for. This is the strength of a MAN.

Compliment often...
Play...
Wrestle...
Hug..
And encourage your young men to find their strength, under control...

Is everyone else's marriage hard, or just mine?

I've noted over the last 4 1/2 years that marriage is hard, but I do hear people asking if it should be THIS hard all over the place.

My husband surprised me the other day by telling me that he used to think that our marriage was too hard. That he felt that every marriage he saw was doing better than we were, and not having to work as hard at it as we were. His parents decade plus of marriage, which ended in divorce at 19 years. The marriages of his grandparents who were married 50+ years in 2012. Plus all the aunts and uncles he has. He said they all didn't look like they had to work at it, and I replied, "well, some of them weren't. But every marriage has hard stuff, they just don't tell you about it." When we got married and started butting heads on things, he thought that meant we were doing something wrong, or more pointedly I was too bull headed or wanted everything my way. Living only to have the chance to tell him "No" about something.

God changed his heart in the last few months. What brought the change nearly destroyed our marriage, but we are living in an attitude of restoration and forgiveness. It literally could only have come from God. I can say now, that our marriage is better and stronger now, even though it has been less than 6mo.

From my perspective marriage is hard. It takes more work than you will realize. The goal is not to cruise, but to share a life, and that means that one or both of you will hurt each other's feelings every now and then. Say things you don't mean, and irritate each other. Sometimes, the deepest hurt you could ever imagine becomes a glaring reality and you have to choose to fight or walk away.

The world makes it easy, get hurt...then leave, nobody has a long enough life to be "unhappy" at any point right? Wrong! Your husband can, and will, hurt you more than any other person in the world. Your love for him is, and rightly should be, far deeper than even the love you have for your own children. Quotes like this are pasted all over social media, almost like a daily mantra of people who want to be perceived as a more self-sacrificing, loving mother than they think they are.

 

I honestly am tired of these. They send a very pointed message. It's not "my children are important to me", it's "my children are more important than my husband." You may not see that, but that's what I see. Then, when people like myself choose not to post such things, and instead post....

 



Some how we appear pompous. This is the relationship that is under attack! Fight back! Odds are people are not going to openly attack your relationship with your children, but they will look for any chink in the armor in your marriage...trust me, we have survived it!

"But, my husband hurt me so bad!" Ok, it will happen. I will cry with you, but short of him harming your physical body, I will tell you to go seek your husband out and reconcile. He will hurt your feelings in ways that can send your heart crashing to the ground. Most of the time, he won't even know he did it. Or, a word from him can fill your heart with so much love you could choke on it. Your love for him is DEEPER. It's in your soul. It's meant to mimic Christ and the church, it's meant to be spiritual...My mom used to tell us that hurting a child's will did less damage than hurting their spirit. She was right, the same goes for adults. Give as much care to your spouse's spirit as you do your children. It's never a win when you battle your spouse.

So, to answer my own question. Is everyone's marriage hard, or just mine?...Yes, marriage is hard, and yours will have hard times too. Can you survive deep heart-shattering hurt? Yes, but you have to be resolved to forgive every single day. Days will be hard, and you will feel like your are drowning, but those will pass. Will there ever be an easy time? Once you both grow together, more and more, the easy times will be longer and will sustain you through the hard times.

If you are struggling, and feel that you can't live like this anymore, I ask you to be still. Don't turn your pain into a democratic vote to continue your marriage or end it by telling everyone what happened, and waiting to hear what they say. Don't ask your single friends, or those who are divorced and not remarried yet. Don't ask the outspoken woman's libber who has a vendetta against men. Ask the wise, someone with time and experience on their side. Someone who's marriage looks "easy" on the outside; I can guarantee that it hasn't been. Seek God, he is FOR MARRIAGE!

Grilled Cheese and Pickles

Today my lunch consisted of Grilled cheese and bread and butter pickles. I don't eat stuff like this unless...Morning sickness? Check! Growing Pains? Check! Yes, we are expecting our 4th baby. Our due date was determined via ultrasound....1/4/14....looks like 4 is the theme to me!

We have known for several weeks that we were pregnant, but their dates and my dates didn't jive.  So, last week I had a full scan, and voila 8week and 3 day old little bean with a nicely beating heartbeat.

Are we excited? Absolutely!

Do we know that 4 kids under 4 is going to be "hard"? Yes, but it will be worth it!

You might have 3 in Diapers! Yes, I have before, and I don't mind.

Won't that be expensive, how can you afford it? You afford what is important to you, we are not going to have two cars, or lots of toys, but our home will be full and so will our hearts.

Motherhood has taught me that these years are fleeting. What seems impossible or unimaginable to one mom is exactly another's dream. This is mine. Kids all over the place with my husband at my side. I may not get to have pedicures or girls days out every week. We may only get a date out when grandparents come visit. We may not get two vacations a year, but like I said before, time goes by so fast!

I just became a doula in training, and I have a newfound hope for this 4th birth. A new sense of what is important to me and my husband for the delivery. From my other three experiences, which I still think were good considering that I did have several medical interventions because I asked for them, I have learned a lot. This one will be just as wonderful, we will have another little blessing to hold and love, that is what this journey is all about. Love.

A love bourn out of sacrifice, pain, and labor. Something that only parenthood can bring in your life. Weather you gave birth to your own children, or were gifted them by God, you know what I am talking about. There is nothing easy about this. But, it will be worth it!

Original source of pic unknown

 I am excited to be overwhelmed; to have my hands even more full. To figure out naptime again. To go through baby clothes every couple weeks to keep up with growth spurts of the baby and worry about weather or not we have the next size up for the older ones. To hear the comments in public about our family, like they think I would take all this back if I could, or that I should be ashamed of myself...but I absolutely wouldn't and I'm not. I won't apologize for these little beings existence, they are gifts.

4 kids under 4...we are in for a wild ride!

Car Date Night

Oklahoma is at its best again. We are supposed to be watching the horizon...and the news...for bad weather. Did I mention that tornado season can give you some serious anxiety problems? No true storm shelter, and a closet for 5 people..yep it kind of freaks me out.

Last night was the start of our three day weather watch this week, and it was actually very eventful. We actually lost power for about 3 hours! With all of the wind and hail you would think that power loss was common. Nope, the last time we lost power our 3 1/2 year old was under 6mo. Power loss with kids is always eventful.

Out of our children he was the most alarmed by this. He kept asking us to turn the lights on, and when we said they weren't working he would put on his drama king voice and say "oh no, that's terrible!" Bedtime was early in our house for little ones.

What do mom and dad do in the dark at 6:30pm? We made our own drive-in date night in the car. Oh yes, be jealous, we watched MIB3 on the dvd in the van. We have an outlet in the car, and tried to hook up our laptop in the house, but technical difficulties prevented this, so car it is. BBQ Baked chips in hand, my drink and his drink. We had a date. I wonder if he even realizes that we had a date at home? I have mentioned using some home date ideas and he didn't think that it would be as "good" as an out of the home date.

It was actually my husband's idea, and it was awesome! I admit it was born out of my comment of," What are we going to do? I have never liked power outages, I get bored." I'm as bad as the kids...What awesome, unplanned adventure have you had lately?

Losing Weight

My husband has started taking weight loss coffee daily for two weeks. It is almost time for his bi-annual PT test, and he's on it to meet the requirements! I don't know his measurements from before, but I do know his 38's looked a little tight around the middle. Weight loss coffee? You probably didn't know there was such a thing, but there is!

Javita has brought two different coffees to the market. Burn + Control which is the weight loss coffee and contains two fantastic herbs, Garcinia Cambogia and Yerba Matte. Both of these have been proven to aid in fat loss all over the world. And the other is Mind + Energy. This is a coffee that gives you an energy boost without the crash later on from other energy supplements, and it increases your mental function at the same time. No weird flavors, no shakes to mix, it's simply coffee!

This was the big selling point for my husband, who would drink 3 pots a day if he let himself. Then you add the weight loss benefits and it's the perfect storm in your cup! Come and visit my page www.myjavita.com/Nicoleburch

Old Glory Flies Again

As my husband's separation date from the Air Force looms on the horizon, I am seeing that he really was made for this lifestyle, though he will leave it sooner than he hoped.

 He is determined...Ask me how long after we started talking when we met online in a Christian chatroom he knew he was going to marry me

He is honorable...he takes responsibility for his shortcomings, and does his best in other areas

He is full of integrity...If you look up integrity, truth is at the heart of it, though the definition in today's military has evolved to suit the needs of the moment, and sometimes not for the better

He's one of my Heros....I know lots of men and women in the military. Some have seen combat, some haven't but they all joined with the promise that if they needed to they would lay down their life. This last weekend he made if very clear to the whole community where his loyalty lies, and for his conviction I am honored to be his wife. Watch my husband as he goes on a personal mission to raise spirits in the best way he knew how.





He spent the day helping people and serving. Exactly what he loves to do. He told me before he left to go there for the day, "I may never have gotten to deploy, but this is just as important!" And I agree, this mattered to these people. If you listen to the men as they hoist the flag, there is someone in the background who likens the raising to that of the men at Iwo Jima. It may not be international, it may not have come from bombs being dropped, but a destructive force shook this land and the lives of the people who call it home. This is a symbol of hope, home, and security in the midst of some of the most trying days of their lives.

Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of red, white and blue waving in the Oklahoma wind to lift spirits....

Really Remember

This memorial day it has finally hit me. This day is about the past, not the present. Past wars, past military, those who died on the battle field, and those who died at home that have served. It's a day to remember friends and relatives that most of us have never heard or thought about.

We watched a video about Memorial Day at church yesterday, and somewhere between my military wife's heart and my woman's heart I started to cry. I can't even hear the national anthem anymore without crying. I know what sacrifice made that song a reality. I know what families go through with the military at the forefront.

What do people sacrifice when someone serves? Time! Schedules. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Births. Holidays. Graduation. And for those who sacrifice the most, their family member who is serving. Should they expect to have to sacrifice to that extent? No, the odds are in their favor to not be attending a funeral. Should they worry about it happening anyway? No, I don't think so.

What is today? A day for those who sacrificed the most. A day to mourn. A day to remember. A day to know that they are not alone in their memories, that a nation sees the sacrifice. At least it is supposed to be...

It has been turned into what one person called "national grilling and camping day". I don't think that most really understand. Oh, and don't forget it's also a long weekend where people will spend a lot of time drinking. Somehow we have lost our way.

I am asking you to remember today....put down your drink, put down your picnic supplies, wait on your burgers and hot dogs, and really remember! Yes, the past will always be there, and we can't bring them back. But, they deserve a moment of time from those of us basking in our freedoms today. Happy Memorial Day!

Picture from garyvarvel.com

Girlhood Made Simple

This weekend I got brave. I decided I was ready for the blonde grow-out on my hair to be cut off. I don't normally get my hair cut here in OK. I wait until we visit my twin sister in MT who is a hairdresser. My routine is about 6-12 months between hair cuts. I know that is not great for my hair. I know I need to get it done more often. But, it's twice the price for me to get my hair cut than it is for my husband and sons, and they need it more often.

I started growing my hair out about 11 months ago. I decided that I was going to go natural, and try to grow my hair a little longer again. I am doing this for my daughter.

I don't want her to see me dying my hair every 6-8 weeks and to feel that she has to do that in order to be or feel pretty. I want her to see her daddy loving me the way I am, and to see me loving myself the way I am too. I think this is really important for her.

I see 8yr old girls with dyed hair. I see them with what I would consider adult hair cuts, and I am sad. I don't care how long my daughter's hair is, I just don't want her to spend so much time on it that she doesn't have time to be a little girl. I think we've lost that, our little girls being little girls.

How do we cultivate this in our daughters? Is it by home making training, and doing the dishes at every meal? No, I don't think so. Is it by sending her to ballet and cheerleading for toddlers? Certainly not, in my opinion. Is it by making her wear dresses, or girly colored clothing with glitter and Barbie on it? No. I think that girlhood is simple. Simple hair, simple clothing that covers her body, simple colors. Girlhood is just simple.

I think that we complicate this time. Wishing it away by pushing for them to grow up faster than they are capable of. We think they need dancing and glamour because we wish we could have had those things when we were little, but even our moms knew we didn't need it.

My mom had three daughters. I don't remember her ever dying her hair, until her daughter became a hairdresser and wanted to see if she would like it. I don't remember her doing really complicated make up, though she wore some every day. Her hair was flattering, and she did enjoy her perms and hairspray in our younger years. She dressed her age, and wore flatter shoes, and rarely a heel. She grew up simply, and raised us the same. We could play with her eye shadow, blush, and mascara on Saturdays with her. But, it had to come off before we left the house. No heels over 1/2 inch. No brightly colored nail polish, only neutrals.

We had certain womanly milestones that she determined. The summer before 7th grade we got to start wearing make up if we chose to. She even threw us a birthday party, and brought a family friend show us how to put it on appropriately. This was the time that we were also allowed to wear bright colors of nail polish. The same summer we got to start wearing heels over 1/2 and inch. Our 13th birthday was when we got to have our second ear piercing if we wanted to.  Shaving didn't happen until we turned 13 either. So, I guess 12 and 13 were our years for growing up a bit in certain ways. I think this was brilliant.

I admit that I gave in and painted my newborn's toe nails, but in my own defense she won't remember it and it was a light pink color. But, after telling my husband of our style as little girls and how my mom determined what age things were appropriate he is on board with this for our little girl. I am so glad!

Now I  know that people don't see this the same way that I do, but this is what I grew up with and I think that it will benefit our daughter greatly to have a similar upbringing. Isn't she beautiful!

 

 

F...What?

Confused by my title? Last night in the area where I live a tornado that ripped through towns, and missed us by only 10 miles left a mark on this state. It hit homes, schools, and hospitals. But, the death toll stands this morning at 51. 20 were children. They are waiting on confirmation, but the consensus is that it was an F5.

F5. This puts fear into anyone who hears it. This, according to the movie "twister" is so destructive they called it the Finger of God. Miles and miles of rubble, and if you look from above you can see a distinct line between the edge of the destructive force and everyone/everything that was barely missed. This is what you have to be underground for.

Almost 5 years ago I married my husband and moved to tornado alley. I had never imagined what a scary time it would be during tornado season, but it's terrifying! One little closet, and the 5 of us. This is not uncommon shelter here, and I believe that needs to change, especially for the schools. The children who died yesterday were kept at school and their parents, even if they weren't inclined to come and get them, were kept from because the rules state that no child gets removed from the school for any reason once the county is in a tornado watch. And they must stay there until the threat is past. The idea is that it is safer for them there than if they leave. Safer. Safer that those children took shelter in a hallway of a school, instead of a closet or a tornado shelter in their own home? Living here we all know that small spaces save lives, and underground is ideal.

I have seen, in the last 12 hours, the generosity of an area that I have felt was not overly friendly. There was a line, a LINE of headlights shown on the news last night of people waiting in the dark to make donations. People are giving up space in their homes and lives to help those who have been displaced. And the out pouring has not stopped.

You want to cry. For the people who won't see their babies or their friends and families again. For the people who lost everything including their home.

Then you want to thank God. That your family is safe. Your house is still standing. We were very fortunate. The storm passed us by mere miles. I may not always like this place, but it has been my home and the place where our children were born.

If you pray, do so for Oklahoma. This was the culmination of two days of storms. There will be a long road ahead for many here.

26, and an Unexpected Blessing

Today my new number is 26. I am now over my mid-twenties. But, as with my birthdays the last 5 years it doesn't really feel like my birthday.

I am an identical twin and in my head I always think "our birthday", so celebrating without my siter here has never been fun for me. But, the last time I felt like my birthday was actually celebrated was several years ago.

Today my husband got up for work at 5am. Got ready, and came back to say good bye...no "happy birthday". This is not the first time, the second time, the third time, or the 4th time that those words came from someone other than him first. But, I am trying to change my reaction to this, because it hurts.

My first instinct is to be really angry because I make such efforts for everyone else on their birthday, but that doesn't create peace in our home. It makes him angry that I am so angry, and then we argue. So, this morning I spent time looking for verses in the bible to pray during the day that will help stop my anger in its tracks.

Proverbs 10:12- Hatred stirreth up strife: but love covereth all sins (KJV)

Psalms 100:4- Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. (KJV)

Titus 2:3,4,5- The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obeidient to their own husbands, that the word of god be not blasphemed (KJV)

I am trying to pray my way to a more peaceful heart today. and isn't it strange that in our blustery state we have tornadoes on the menu for our weather pleasure. I need to pray a lot today.

As I am writing this my 3 year old just shouted "Happy Birthday!" to me, twice. I haven't talked to anyone, or said anything about today being my birthday out loud. I was just pouring my heart out here trying to keep my frustration at bay. It instantly made me cry. How would my son know that I needed that today? In this very moment I believe that he was impressed by God to say it to me because there was no other way he could have known to say it to me today. Thank you God for talking to my baby and giving me that little encouragement today. I needed it.

Parenting an extra

You imagine motherhood as a girl. The beauty, the contentment, the wonder, the gift. You see the moms at the park smiling in that way they do, as their child giggles and shrieks happily, going to and fro in the swing. You think, "that is how motherhood is going to be", "My son or daughter is going to be happy and wonderful all the time". You may be right, some of the time, but you may get one of those "extra" children.

What do I mean by "extra"? This child needs your extra....
Time...
Patience...
Mercy...
Love...
Grace...
Effort...
Discipline...
Guidance...
Understanding...
Everything...
This child will shape you and your parenting in ways never imagined. All the "you shoulds.." in the world will not apply to him. All the "averages..." will not explain him or categorize him. He will be strong in Will and Character. He will test your every boundary.

I have a son like this. I am this mother I write about, I was that little girl dreaming of the child(ren) I would have and how my parenting would look. I am the one who's childhood thoughts didn't meet with the motherhood I would eventually lead.

He is a puzzle to me. A joy. A mystery unfolding before my eyes. I count him a blessing and a trial in the same breath. And, you may find this a strange admission, he is exhausting! Why did I say that? Because it is true. Am I ungrateful, NO. He is my daily reminder not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He is my gift. I prayed for him. I am not looking for flaws, but I can't say that parenting my "extra" boy is easy. And, I think that we tend to only notice those around us who have easy children.

I don't look at the peaceful kids with their parents at the park. I look for the moms with a little "extra" on their plate. I don't pity them. I don't assume that they must be doing something wrong. I just sit and watch with the empathy in my heart and the knowledge that I am parenting an "extra" too.

We don't need advice or sympathy. We certainly don't need pity. We just need encouragement and hope that someday our "extra" will be blessed by our efforts in their youth. And know that they were loved in the midst of their extra needs.

I admit that I wrote this post in an attitude of frustration and anger. I was having a hard time with my son today, and I needed to put my thoughts in order. To remind myself that this is just today, and tomorrow will come. My thoughts were transformed into this. There will be hard days, but choose to take a moment. Write, read, breathe. Just like I have discovered myself, you were meant to do this and to be this little person's mother.

My New Home



I have been wrestling with the idea of moving my blog for several months. As of the fall I will no longer be a military wife, I will be a retired military member's wife.

He has been in the military since I met him 7 years ago, and this new adventure is proving to be challenging and scary at the same time. I may have to leave the home for the workforce.

I have always felt that I needed to be the one to raise our children, and my husband was very pleased with my conviction because he echoed it. Now, he will be going to school full time in order to get a degree that will make it more possible to take care of our family the way he wants to. I have recently started a home based venture, and I am so excited that I will be able to share it with you every now and then, It is a product called Javita and it is fantastic! Tastes great and it works!

Someone told me that I am being really calm about all of this uncertainty, but I guess that would be the appearance on the outside. Inside I am screaming and wanting to just sit still until all the details are ironed out, but I have been not-so-gently reminded that growth can only happen if I move forward too. Growing pains, right?

I have the potential to drown in all of this, but I am making a concious choice daily to be led. It's like watching the difference between a trained dog and a puppy. One painstakingly dragging and fight to go where they think they should, when they are supposed to go the other way, then you see the other one moving in sync and they appear much happier. I want to be that one. Led, content, at peace with their leader and knowing that they would never take them somewhere they would not prosper.

Prosperity? Is this important? I think the answer would suprise us all, and I will work on a post about that soon.

So, welcome! Welcome to my new blog, I hope it is a place that you can enjoy.

While we are waiting

Watch ""While I'm Waiting" Music Video- from the movie FIREPROOF" on YouTube

My husband and I are making plans, well praying over them anyway. There isn't much planning that we can do when he isn't officially discharged from the military. No paperwork, no official discharge date.

It's amazing how they expect us to just walk away without a plan. Yes, my husband has briefings he is going to so he knows his "options", but we are going to be set free like a bunch of goats. Thanks for your service, now fend for yourselves.

This is NOT my forte. This drastic change in our lives that we have no control over. No job prospects, no place to live, and here I am with no skills to use to top it off.

I am going to be taking some doula training, which has been within the realm of my dream job for a long time. It's something, but It's not quick. Babies take months, and building a steady stream of ladies who want me takes time too. I have dog grooming training, but not enough hands on experience to do.it on my own. I have a camera, and some decent photography skills, but that is something that takes time too. I'm overwhelmed!

I am following my husband. He knows that he's headed to school. But, that is the beginning and end of what we know right now.

I can feel the anxiety welling up in me. I can see that It's already affecting me, which affects the kids. I know I'm only one prayer of faith away from letting it all fall onto God's shoulders, so why am I not doing it? Why am I allowing this doubt back in when I have seen what miracles He's brought so recently into our family? Why can't I let go?

This is my struggle. I have some tendency to want to control. It may appear to work sometimes, but I know I'm just being fooled.

Every time I look at the circumstances of this time in our life I think of a song from Fireproof. It's called

While I'm Waiting by John Waller:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting

Yes, we are waiting. On direction, on decisions, on timing.

My favorite Place

My favorite place in my house, is my kitchen! I love who I am in this space.

I am confident. I am organized. I am successful more times than not. I am who I really want to be!

I can think of something, and make it, and it turns out. No other place in my life do I feel as accomplished. And, my family benefits from my work there too.

I make our bread, pizzas, tortillas, and any number of other things. I am a baker, a chemist, and a caterer.

I wish I could capture these bits of myself there in a bottle and shake that on myself again when I need it.

How do I make myself this successful elsewhere? Is it the compliments on what I make, or the fact that I have spent a lot of time and energy learning? I really wish I knew.

I am trying to find my confidence again. But, it's going to take some time.

This post has also been linked to the Raising Homemakers Wednesday linkup

Herbal Deodorant

Deodorant. Are you a Secret, Dove, Degree, or Ban person? Regular or Clinical strength? Spray on, roll on, stick or creme in a tube? So many options for something that most of us never think twice about, unless we smell funky.

Me, pregnancy did something to either my nose or my glands, I can sweat through clinical strength Deodorant in a matter of hours!

Sorry if that's TMI, but I am sure that I'm not alone. And, I have found a solution. I made some myself!

There are lots of different "natural" options that still don't work. And still contain things that can irritate skin or have yet to be linked to some disease or another. But, my Herbal recipe has none of those problems!

Shea butter....to firm it up without beeswax.

Coconut oil...antibacterial, moisturising, and it thins the mix just enough.

Bentonite Clay powder...this is a purifying agent, and helps keep you a little drier.

Baking soda....to absorb smell. Can substitute corn starch or arrowroot powder if you have a sensitivity.

30 drops of your favorite essential oil, or mixture of them...I used lavender because I had it on hand.

Melt it and then whip it! I have been applying just a finger full in the morning, and not needing any more than that all day!

Next time I will put it into a Deodorant container of some kind so that I can apply it without having to dig a finger full out of my container.

I haven't had any problem with the clay showing on my skin, or the shea butter or coconut oil ruining my clothes.

If you have ever thought of making your own toiletries, go for it! You may like yours better than anything else you could find.

Fishing with Daddy

There is nothing like taking a 3, 2, and 1 year old fishing!

My husband has been waiting for this day from the moment he heard "it's a boy!".

His favorite outdoor activity, and one he wishes his father had enjoyed, or sometimes tolerated, so they could spend time together. So, he is on his way to being that daddy now.

Momma packed a cold dinner of cheesey bread, pizza hummus, carrots, and fruit...daddy got the tackle ready.

...while earlier in the day mommy had picked up the casting net for the first time in her life, and after watching one YouTube tutorial, she completely OWNED it! Daddy has been trying to do it for over a year, and mommy helped him (I have permission from him to boast on my skills, haha). But, back to our sunset fishing picnic...

Load the tackle, check.
Load the kids, check.
Load the food, check.
Hit the road, check.

Our firecracker spent his time throwing things into the water like daddy with the net...and so did mister sassy-pants. Pepper girl and mommy watched and ate our dinner. The boys were biz-ay! So, pepper ate all the kiwi...

My husband learned just how long rocks can hold the attention of young boys, and that they didn't care if they caught anything or even got a bite. This was about quality time.

An outing together, a first together. Not a long trip, but just right for where our kids are right now.

Happy Easter, Christ is Risen!

Everyone has the right to be miserable?

I keep seeing this as a comment on peoples reposts of the marriage equality pictures, and frankly if they believe marriage equals misery I am not sure why anyone would want to be married in the first place.

My cousin and I had a little discussion about our views on this subject. Mine do differ from hers in many ways, but that is why we are having this discussion all over the country...because people believe differently.

There are those who see this as an issue of Tolerance. Those who see this as an issue of civil rights, similar to the black movement in the 60's with integration. Those who see it as a biblical issue, and those who merely see it as a moral issue no religion guiding their ideal.

Here's my thoughts on these reasons...please note I said THOUGHTS

It is not about tolerance or intolerance. It is about choice.

It is not about dictating who you can love, or how to love them.

It is not about rights in the way integration was, I believe they just want legal validation, for legal purposes.

It is a biblical issue for me because I am a Christian. The bible is clear on marriage and lifestyle choices. And before I get grumped at for passing Judgement, I suggest you read the bible first on each issue. It is there.

It is a moral issue...religion aside. There are some serious health risks to this lifestyle. Our bodies have physical limitations.

Do I hate those whose lifestyle differ from mine? No.

Do I want them to be happy? Yes.

Do I think that legalizing marriage is the root of their unhappiness? No.

I feel that my marriage is a covenant. Designed by God specifically for a man and a woman. And, I feel that this bill passing will turn it into nothing more than a civil union, a LEGALITY, and I really don't appreciate that. It cheapens it, and makes it about law and not about a covenant.

I pray for this nation, though I know in my heart what the decision is to be, that they will see what they are doing.

I love my friends and family who are LGTB, so take this as my own thoughts and not the hate-mongering that it has been portrayed as by a bunch of angry people. We don't all have to believe the same way, we just need to do so in a way that is kind.

It's not about you

Being a person who has never been accused of keeping my mouth shut, I would like to share a simple public service announcement....

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!

Your husband forgot to take the garbage out...he was in a hurry this morning(I have to tell myself this a lot).

That person who cut you off on your way to work had somewhere to be too...they were not just looking for you.

The person posting about their religion, or lack of faith, on their Facebook page...it's not just to get under your skin.

Your child spilled their food and drink at every meal today...don't worry they will do it again tomorrow because they are kids and not as coordinated as you. Obviously you have used your limbs a lot longer.

Sometimes we have to stop and tell ourselves this simple truth. A truth lost in a world of offended people waiting to find something to be offended about. A world of people looking for someone to blame. Don't look for all the reasons that you could be inconvenienced or annoyed, you will end up being a very grumpy person who has no friends.

Join me....IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! Feel better? It may take several times of telling yourself that, but eventually it will actually make you feel freer.

Imagine waking up and looking at peoples actions as their own. We can do it!

See my post over at Proverbs 31 Thursday link up

Daddy Goggles

Yesterday my husband made a very big decision. He got rid of his PS3, his controllers, and ALL of his games! Let me tell you, game systems are very important to a lot of men. My husband used to be one of them.

When we were dating, I don't recall a night we talked that he wasn't playing a game. Once we got married he called it his best friend. We were going to have our first baby and he called it his "baby". See how much he valued it?

I told him yesterday, because he asked, that I was shocked and pleased that it is now gone. I was jealous of it sometimes. In some ways he treated it with more care and consideration than me or the children.

His reason for for such a change of heart, and the eviction of his former prized possession? He was seeing it through his daddy goggles. Yes, I was confused at first too.

He looked at how he felt about gaming in his younger days, and how it had affected his life. He looked at how it had affected his adult life. He looked at how it was affecting our family life, and his conclusion was that he didn't like what he saw.

No, he didn't spend all his time on it. But, we watched netflix on it, and there were shows that he had introduced our boys to that had become a problem.

He had noticed an attitude shift in our oldest that was alarmingly similar to the characters he was watching. We tried hiding the remotes and leaving it off...he found them. We tried watching something else and then he would throw very naughty fits.

Discipline him is what you are probably thinking...we did, and did, and did. Sometimes the best discipline is to take it away completely, even if it inconveniences you.

This part of our life is NOT all about us. We have to put on our goggles, like my husband, and see what the root of the problem is. Then, our job is to be parents and fix it if we can.

Our new family time will revolve around games and true togetherness instead of fighting over what to watch, or my husband playing games late because he is trying to do it while I'm asleep next to him on the couch so that it doesn't take his time from me....but it still did. He would wake up late, grumpy, and not get to spend the time he had with us before working that night.

Is there something in your life you need to put your goggles on and re-examine? Does it effect your children it your attitude? Does it steal your time? Does it cause you to argue with your spouse? If you can say yes to any of these questions, then I would encourage you to imagine a life if it weren't there. Maybe not forever...but for right now.

What’s your biggest worry right now as a military wife? How do you deal with it?

My biggest worry right now is that my husband is going to be kicked out soon, and that we won't know what kind of healthcare we will have for our babies or ourselves.

It's been nice being able to say that we have medical insurance when the need arises. With three toddlers and my very graceful husband it has been a God send. But, that will all end as soon as my husband is discharged because he didn't get a chance to fulfill his 20 years.

I guess I should be grateful that we have had three zero balance births, and all of the bells and whistles that accompany it. I have even been to see specialists for my feet and my Hashimoto's disease...again zero balance.

With things going the way they are for the military. Budget cuts leading to the cancelling of PCSs, Tuition assistance being cut, and looming fulough for some. I should be content that my husband and our family will not longer need to be scared that all of our benefits will be cut. We now have to search out what is best for us.

It's scary to think that our whole world is going to shift. No more Base, no more ABUs, no more combat boots, no more military IDs. But, we will make it work. And we are starting to see that maybe this is where we have been led all along.

How do I deal with it? There really isn't much to deal with. The decision had nothing to do with me, and my husband couldn't stop it either. When neither of you are to blame, you just do what you need to do. You move on, and you learn to live with the changes.

Is life too short to be unhappy?

"Life is too short to be unhappy." Said, by hundreds of people, usually in response to some grumblings about peoples significant others, or spouses. These same people fall into two categories, the ones who really believe what they are saying and the ones who have bought what the former are selling in regards to romantic relationships. The second type of people think that the list of things that relationships can't, shouldn't or couldn't bounce back from are a byproduct of unhappiness. This would mean that relationships like these are disposable, only to be entered into in a euphoric state, and to be discarded the first time it is no longer fun and has become work.

We don't teach our children such things about relationship. The teenager who "hates" his parents doesn't get the option to throw his relationship to them away. He is made to stay the course, and essentially get over it. We tell him that this bond is some how stronger than even that of his parents. We have now shown him that marriage is not meant to last, only parenthood.

Disposable, makes you think of plastic bags, paper, moldy food, broken things in general. But, then there are the things that we give away because we don't like or need them anymore. I would like to think that we see our romantic relationships as more than moldy food or a good will donation.

 

Let me tell you a little secret....There will be things in marriage that make you unhappy. There will be moments where keeping your mouth shut and leaving the room is the best move you could make. But marriage is not about happiness. Re-read your vows. Nowhere does is say happiness is promised, or even integral to marriage. Marriage is about covenant. A vow. A partnership. A promise that no matter what you will pull yourselves up by your bootstraps and work towards restoration every single day.

 

Happiness comes when you marry the one you love. If love leaves every time you are unhappy, you need to change your mind because you are letting it lead your heart. It should be your heart leading your mind.

 

Resolve to be happy IN your marriage, not BECAUSE of it! It's what is inside that counts, everything else is just window dressing.

 

 

 



Real Love

I remember asking my mom when I was dating my husband, "Do you think I'm in Love?" Obviously, never having a boyfriend or a crush that I could recall, I really had no idea what love should feel like. Eventually, as Mothers have forever I would imagine, she answered, "yes, I think you are", and that made me more sure of myself. I knew I loved him, but I wanted her opinion as I did then and do now.

I have looked at marriages around me rise and fall. The tiniest bit of a bad wind and POOF whatever love they thought they had evaporated like the air trapped in a disturbed souffle. And it has made me wonder if my own love was a true love, or was it just not tested by fire yet.

My fire has come, and you know what I discovered? I love my husband! I love him when I'm happy with him, I love him when I am so hurt that I feel ovewhealmed by it. I love him when he deserves it, and I love him when he doesn't.

We all know this verse:  

This is the outline that we look to for marriage, and it is a very great explaination of Love. But, I have added my own extention based on my marriage...

Real love leaves its dreams and never looks back. It fights with everything it has to the end! And it forgives, even hurts so deep you think you couldn't possibly. It dreams of the future, but learns from the past. And it doesn't seek vengence, but chooses to impart grace. It looks for the little things, and then praises them for the tiny miracles they are.

I know now that the love I feel for my husband is Real Love!

Taking it Back!

Our church has been talking about taking back what has been stolen from you by the devil. It could be a relationship, a vice, your faith, and maybe even your heart. Claiming the thing that was stolen in Jesus name and taking it back! So, today I declare that I am taking it back!

  I am taking back the scattered pieces of my heart. And, I give them back to my #1 and my #2 just as it was intended to be.

I am taking back my faith, I WILL have faith that God knew exactly what he was doing from the moment I was concieved. I believe that He is leading me even now to do the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.

I am taking back my family. There are many things that have tried to work towards tearing us apart recently, and I refuse to let it go. It is mine!

I am taking back my love. I will not let my fears keep me from loving.

I am taking back my JOY. My mom told my twin sister once to "find her joy" when we were in high school, and she did just that...I think its time I do that myself.

There are seasons according to the bible. Sowing, and reaping. Right now I believe our family is in a sowing time. Planting the seeds of faith, trust, love, grace, peace, forgiveness, patience, long-suffering, and understanding. We are growing in some ways, but waiting in others. And, I know with a certainty that doesn't come from myself that when we reap this harvest it will surpass our wildest dreams.

Don't ever be afraid to take back what the devil has stolen....everything he has, he took from you!

Cherish the Moment

Yesterday my little firecracker was sick. Woke up bouncy and shortly came to me asking me to kiss his ear because it hurt. It was when he had done this repeatedly, and started crying that I knew it was an ear infection and it wasn't going to wait. We called the doctor and daddy.

Firecracker is my oldest, at 3, and he's big! He's in size 5/6 for the length, and yesterday was weighed at 47 pounds. And when he is exhausted or sick he's the one that needs to be rocked. And, I don't usually rock the babies to get them to sleep, unless they are sick. So, there I was in a chair at the doctor rocking my big boy.

It dawned on me while I was waiting that time is moving so fast. I won't be able to call these little people my babies much longer, and he's only going to get bigger. In that moment I resolved to cherish those little things that I won't get to do for much longer. Rocking them, kissing them...eew mom!, dancing in the livingroom to the power ranger theme song for the thousandth time.

Parenthood is such a busy time initially, and its not uncommon to feel it pass in a blur. But, we all need to let the dishes sit for a minute, let the little ones use the laundry as their own personal pile if leaves every once in a while. It isn't making a mess as my friend says, it's making memories!

Memories that will last, and encourage them well into their adult lives. And maybe someday when they have kids they will be able to pull out the memory and do the same things with their babies. Cherish your moments together! Have flour fights, jump in the mud, make piles out of laundry and jump in, and dance with your babies when they ask....you're making important memories.

 

 

 



A Real Military Spouse

I am up. Its almost 3am here, and I am sick and can't sleep. I can't tell though if it's because I feel compelled to write this blog post, or that I have insomnia tonight.

I have gotten several links today to vote for this year's military spouse of the year. Each of the links were of people that I am proud to say I know personally. Each one has made sacrifices, and supported their soldier and others. And I hope that one of them win.

I know that this is just my own thought, but sometimes I don't feel like a real military spouse. My husband has never deployed. I have never been asked to be a key spouse. I don't participate in spouse events because my husband has our only car at work with him when they are all scheduled. We don't live on base. We have gotten orders, but they have always been cancelled for one reason or another, so no PCS either.

How do we define a REAL military spouse? Distance, time, location, works? This life is so competitive. Our military men and women compete for rank, and the best places to move to, and here we are trying to measure our own worth by those around us.

I know my value as a mother, wife, daughter, and sister. But, I am the only one close to me who has an active duty husband. So, I guess that I get to decide what makes me a real military wife.

I have moved across the country, not to mention out of my parents house, to be with the man I love. I have known the fear of possibly giving birth on my own. I have seen my soldier walk away, knowing it was not a normal day and he would be gone for only a few weeks. I have argued with finance because they messed up our pay. I have celebrated my birthday by myself more than once. I have been to every PT test I can because he needs my support. I have packed a mobility bag, and put all of my husband's uniforms together when he wasn't at home...and I say, I am a REAL military spouse because I married my soldier!

You don't need an award, or to be nominated for one. You don't need to have been through a deployment. You don't need to move to Japan. If you have been married to your soldier for 1 second, you ARE a real military wife!

2013

Today marks the first full week of 2013. I can't believe 2012 went by so fast!

I gave birth to our first daughter, and third child, in March. My grandpa died in June, and my husband's grandpa died a month later. Our oldest turned 3, OH where does the time go? And, our youngest son turned 2 on the day that the Myans thought the world would end....We knew we were either going out, or going on, eating birthday cake!

2013 has already proven to be off to a wonderful, and quirky start. I am here in Virginia with our three children, staying with my in-laws, so that I can take a class. My husband had to leave VA and go back to Oklahoma and get back to the military. At this point, my class which was supposed to have been started yesterday if things had gotten ironed out by the school, is now in limbo. I have no idea how long it's going to be until we go back to OK. My husband is dealing well, but he has already said that this is one of the hardest things he has had to do. Our babies and myself are doing about as well has he is with this situation, but I guess we have it easier since we have his dad and step mom as support, and he's all alone.

His birthday is Valentine's day. This is the first one I will not be with him since we met, and I am going to act as if he is deployed and go with a care package theme. So, some deployment goodies and ideas may be showing up on the blog, with links to other things that have caught my eye in the next couple weeks.

I also have our daughter's first birthday to plan. If Daddy can't be here we may have to do something when he finally gets here; it's only the first birthday, she's never going to notice that it may be a tad bit late. My little Pepper is going to be a big girl! And this will mark the longest I have not been pregnant since our marriage in 2008.

In honor of my un-impregnated state I am going to try to work my booty off. I finally got some answers on my thyroid, so I won't have that little organ holding my fat cells hostage anymore...bye, bye! I really want some super cute pics the next time we have a baby, all baby and NO momma belly. Please pray for me.

Our oldest son will have some homeschooling goals to help prepare him for kindergarten, we will be working with phonics and penmanship this year. We have not pursued much beyond the goals I had set for him this year because he met them all by Christmas. He's my little smarty pants, I am a proud momma. And our youngest son is going to begin his homeschool preschool journey this year as well. I can't wait to see my babies around the table together working on their lesson for the day!

On top of all of this I will be working on my quiet time, and being consistent with that. I need my babies to see their mom making time for God every day.

2013 is going to be AWESOME!