Today my new number is 26. I am now over my mid-twenties. But, as with my birthdays the last 5 years it doesn't really feel like my birthday.
I am an identical twin and in my head I always think "our birthday", so celebrating without my siter here has never been fun for me. But, the last time I felt like my birthday was actually celebrated was several years ago.
Today my husband got up for work at 5am. Got ready, and came back to say good bye...no "happy birthday". This is not the first time, the second time, the third time, or the 4th time that those words came from someone other than him first. But, I am trying to change my reaction to this, because it hurts.
My first instinct is to be really angry because I make such efforts for everyone else on their birthday, but that doesn't create peace in our home. It makes him angry that I am so angry, and then we argue. So, this morning I spent time looking for verses in the bible to pray during the day that will help stop my anger in its tracks.
Proverbs 10:12- Hatred stirreth up strife: but love covereth all sins (KJV)
Psalms 100:4- Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. (KJV)
Titus 2:3,4,5- The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obeidient to their own husbands, that the word of god be not blasphemed (KJV)
I am trying to pray my way to a more peaceful heart today. and isn't it strange that in our blustery state we have tornadoes on the menu for our weather pleasure. I need to pray a lot today.
As I am writing this my 3 year old just shouted "Happy Birthday!" to me, twice. I haven't talked to anyone, or said anything about today being my birthday out loud. I was just pouring my heart out here trying to keep my frustration at bay. It instantly made me cry. How would my son know that I needed that today? In this very moment I believe that he was impressed by God to say it to me because there was no other way he could have known to say it to me today. Thank you God for talking to my baby and giving me that little encouragement today. I needed it.
Nicole, I know exactly how you feel. My own dearest Hubs rarely remembers my birthday. But then I think of all the other ways he loves me well. After 14 years of marriage it still isn't easy but I think you are right to focus your attention on the gift of life each year and ask God to give you gracious words. Love you! Happiest Birthday!
ReplyDeleteThank you. He later told me on the phone, without prompting. And I got the second card from him of our entire marriage when he came home. It helped to already be resolved not to be angry, so that when he did say it I was thankful instead of vengeful.
DeleteA friend and I were just having a very similar conversation yesterday. Her husband isn't very good about acknowledging her birthday or Mother's Day and her grown children aren't much better. Except her son is on facebook and so it reminded you of birthdays, lol!
ReplyDeleteLoved how you went to God's Word to find verses about being thankful! I hope you had a lovely day and a belated Happy Birthday (and thanks for linking up to "Making Your Home Sing Monday!)