Girlhood Made Simple

This weekend I got brave. I decided I was ready for the blonde grow-out on my hair to be cut off. I don't normally get my hair cut here in OK. I wait until we visit my twin sister in MT who is a hairdresser. My routine is about 6-12 months between hair cuts. I know that is not great for my hair. I know I need to get it done more often. But, it's twice the price for me to get my hair cut than it is for my husband and sons, and they need it more often.

I started growing my hair out about 11 months ago. I decided that I was going to go natural, and try to grow my hair a little longer again. I am doing this for my daughter.

I don't want her to see me dying my hair every 6-8 weeks and to feel that she has to do that in order to be or feel pretty. I want her to see her daddy loving me the way I am, and to see me loving myself the way I am too. I think this is really important for her.

I see 8yr old girls with dyed hair. I see them with what I would consider adult hair cuts, and I am sad. I don't care how long my daughter's hair is, I just don't want her to spend so much time on it that she doesn't have time to be a little girl. I think we've lost that, our little girls being little girls.

How do we cultivate this in our daughters? Is it by home making training, and doing the dishes at every meal? No, I don't think so. Is it by sending her to ballet and cheerleading for toddlers? Certainly not, in my opinion. Is it by making her wear dresses, or girly colored clothing with glitter and Barbie on it? No. I think that girlhood is simple. Simple hair, simple clothing that covers her body, simple colors. Girlhood is just simple.

I think that we complicate this time. Wishing it away by pushing for them to grow up faster than they are capable of. We think they need dancing and glamour because we wish we could have had those things when we were little, but even our moms knew we didn't need it.

My mom had three daughters. I don't remember her ever dying her hair, until her daughter became a hairdresser and wanted to see if she would like it. I don't remember her doing really complicated make up, though she wore some every day. Her hair was flattering, and she did enjoy her perms and hairspray in our younger years. She dressed her age, and wore flatter shoes, and rarely a heel. She grew up simply, and raised us the same. We could play with her eye shadow, blush, and mascara on Saturdays with her. But, it had to come off before we left the house. No heels over 1/2 inch. No brightly colored nail polish, only neutrals.

We had certain womanly milestones that she determined. The summer before 7th grade we got to start wearing make up if we chose to. She even threw us a birthday party, and brought a family friend show us how to put it on appropriately. This was the time that we were also allowed to wear bright colors of nail polish. The same summer we got to start wearing heels over 1/2 and inch. Our 13th birthday was when we got to have our second ear piercing if we wanted to.  Shaving didn't happen until we turned 13 either. So, I guess 12 and 13 were our years for growing up a bit in certain ways. I think this was brilliant.

I admit that I gave in and painted my newborn's toe nails, but in my own defense she won't remember it and it was a light pink color. But, after telling my husband of our style as little girls and how my mom determined what age things were appropriate he is on board with this for our little girl. I am so glad!

Now I  know that people don't see this the same way that I do, but this is what I grew up with and I think that it will benefit our daughter greatly to have a similar upbringing. Isn't she beautiful!