My husband and I are taking some classes so that we can do special childcare. The classes are an overview of child development and how to parent children who aren't yours from the start. Last week we covered Discipline.
This is certainly a touchy subject. There are so many methods, and ideas about what is right and what is wrong. The more "learned" we, get the farther we get from the root of why discipline is important. And this class has further cemented this idea for me.
There was a chart in our book that had two headings DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT. Now, my earlier thoughts were that the two went hand in hand. Discipline being the act of fixing unwanted behavior and punishment being the "how" you fixed it. Not the case according to them. Discipline is acceptable, but it cant "hurt" them. Punishment is NOT ALLOWED because it may damage them in some way.
When you start disecting how we teach our children right and wrong you can come up with the conclusion that nearly everything we do is in it's barest form is a type of "punishment" and that Discipline, according to their standards, is in the eye of beholder. One example being...They said hard labor is punshiment(digging a hole) but cleaning out the gutters is discipline...no joke, that was the example! Are those two things any different? To me, no.
In this world you only get about 18% or less of your children's lives to teach them what they need to learn to be functional adults. Success is not measured in what they become, who they marry, or how their children one day turn out. I believe that success is measured by what you did with your 18%. Did you care enough to discipline them instead of always trying to be their friend? Did you impart your wisdom on them even when they gave you the "whatever" as an answer every time? Did you make them see their mistakes, but also help them learn to turn it into a victory? Did you love them every single day, even when you didn't like their behavior? If you say yes to some or all of these you have succeded!
No method is perfect, all are like walking a tight rope...you go too far to one side and you may hurt their heart. And that is to be avoided, because that will make them resent you. And if you go too far to the other, and they will never take you seriously. We have over half of their lives to be their friend. They will love you more, and appreciate you more, for being strong enough to discipline them while you still could.
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