All I do...

Wake up to the sound of toddler chatter....
Drag myself up, and ask my husband if he's ready to get up...
Put our little man into the bath, because despite the XL Inserts because he could compete with a camel with his liquid retention before bed,and even a double layer doesn't hold it all...
Daddy gets him dressed, while I make meals for my men...
Wake up our baby man, clean and change him, and give him his bottle...
Daddy is feeding the little man as I get done feeding the baby man...
Then, I get to eat....
And, onto our normal routine of naps and playtime intermingled with my daily chores...

Yes, suprisingly ordinary, but sometimes I pray for some "me" time! Time where I can read a whole book or do a whole craft project, uninterrupted. But, even with the things I do daily, I never get every chore done before my body begs me to rest. And, then morning comes and we start all over.

I love my men, I am blessed, and sometimes I feel like I am invisible. I know my husband appreciates me, he tells me, but sometimes I need to remind him that there is more to me than "mommy" or "cook". I am pleased with both titles...but somedays WOMAN is what I long to be seen as!

Someone who is kind, loving, FEMALE(little kids don't really see you as a girl or a boy...you're just a constant in their life)! I want outings "with the girls", and sometimes outings with other moms, but both of these things have been very elusive during my time in OK. I have a few I know who I consider friends, but I am always the one to initiate. I see people on facebook making plans and I wonder if people even remember that I am here too? I don't like to intrude, and sometimes I wonder If I am that kid in class that people tolerate when they are in the same room but can't wait to ignore once the meeting is over, so I don't do what my brain is screaming "PICK ME, PICK ME!"

All the retired spouses I have met say the same thing...."it was great, there were so many nice people, we made such good friends!"...."I never had to find someone to hang around with, we were like one big family!". Sorry, I have never had such experiences as a military spouse! I know they exist, I see them and hear about them from other spouses...but I am on the "outs" somehow.

Being a twin didn't help cultivate an overly social personality for me. I always had someone who was my friend no matter what! I guess that is part of it, or maybe that I just make people uncomfortable with how I speak or carry myself.

I don't want my "chores" to be all I do! I want to feel a part of something, and I would like to find those people that other military talk about....maybe I'm just missing something.