Today has been rough. We woke up optimistic, and at least one of us is going to bed with crushed dreams....that would be my husband.
He had his PT test today, and failed it for a second time. This has always been an issue since I've known him, and it seems like once we finally get one passed the AF goes and changes the scoring so that we are back to being stressed all over again. He missed it by 5 points, and he is crushed! On the outcome of this test hung every dream he has about his military career; an overseas duty station(we has gotten orders to Guam), his testing for staff sgt, and making a new start far away from here.
I go to his tests because he says that having us there makes him do better, and I knew it wasn't good news when I saw his face after he got his score. I really didn't know what to say...because I feel like I've said it all before. Sometimes it was encouraging, and sometimes I admit I said the wrong thing and made him feel like he failed me, so this time I didn't say anything. There is a big part of me that wants to scream, and throw things, and say things that I would never be able to take back..but then there's the part that is proud of the improvement he showed, and wants to go into his office and MAKE them listen to why he deserves a retake.
I know not saying anything may not have been the best choice, but what do you say when you've run out of things to say?
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