All I do...

Wake up to the sound of toddler chatter....
Drag myself up, and ask my husband if he's ready to get up...
Put our little man into the bath, because despite the XL Inserts because he could compete with a camel with his liquid retention before bed,and even a double layer doesn't hold it all...
Daddy gets him dressed, while I make meals for my men...
Wake up our baby man, clean and change him, and give him his bottle...
Daddy is feeding the little man as I get done feeding the baby man...
Then, I get to eat....
And, onto our normal routine of naps and playtime intermingled with my daily chores...

Yes, suprisingly ordinary, but sometimes I pray for some "me" time! Time where I can read a whole book or do a whole craft project, uninterrupted. But, even with the things I do daily, I never get every chore done before my body begs me to rest. And, then morning comes and we start all over.

I love my men, I am blessed, and sometimes I feel like I am invisible. I know my husband appreciates me, he tells me, but sometimes I need to remind him that there is more to me than "mommy" or "cook". I am pleased with both titles...but somedays WOMAN is what I long to be seen as!

Someone who is kind, loving, FEMALE(little kids don't really see you as a girl or a boy...you're just a constant in their life)! I want outings "with the girls", and sometimes outings with other moms, but both of these things have been very elusive during my time in OK. I have a few I know who I consider friends, but I am always the one to initiate. I see people on facebook making plans and I wonder if people even remember that I am here too? I don't like to intrude, and sometimes I wonder If I am that kid in class that people tolerate when they are in the same room but can't wait to ignore once the meeting is over, so I don't do what my brain is screaming "PICK ME, PICK ME!"

All the retired spouses I have met say the same thing...."it was great, there were so many nice people, we made such good friends!"...."I never had to find someone to hang around with, we were like one big family!". Sorry, I have never had such experiences as a military spouse! I know they exist, I see them and hear about them from other spouses...but I am on the "outs" somehow.

Being a twin didn't help cultivate an overly social personality for me. I always had someone who was my friend no matter what! I guess that is part of it, or maybe that I just make people uncomfortable with how I speak or carry myself.

I don't want my "chores" to be all I do! I want to feel a part of something, and I would like to find those people that other military talk about....maybe I'm just missing something.

Discipline Vs. Punishment

My husband and I are taking some classes so that we can do special childcare. The classes are an overview of child development and how to parent children who aren't yours from the start. Last week we covered Discipline.

This is certainly a touchy subject. There are so many methods, and ideas about what is right and what is wrong. The more "learned" we, get the farther we get from the root of why discipline is important. And this class has further cemented this idea for me.

There was a chart in our book that had two headings DISCIPLINE and PUNISHMENT. Now, my earlier thoughts were that the two went hand in hand. Discipline being the act of fixing unwanted behavior and punishment being the "how" you fixed it. Not the case according to them. Discipline is acceptable, but it cant "hurt" them. Punishment is NOT ALLOWED because it may damage them in some way.

When you start disecting how we teach our children right and wrong you can come up with the conclusion that nearly everything we do is in it's barest form is a type of "punishment" and that Discipline, according to their standards, is in the eye of beholder. One example being...They said hard labor is punshiment(digging a hole) but cleaning out the gutters is discipline...no joke, that was the example! Are those two things any different? To me, no.

In this world you only get about 18% or less of your children's lives to teach them what they need to learn to be functional adults. Success is not measured in what they become, who they marry, or how their children one day turn out. I believe that success is measured by what you did with your 18%. Did you care enough to discipline them instead of always trying to be their friend? Did you impart your wisdom on them even when they gave you the "whatever" as an answer every time? Did you make them see their mistakes, but also help them learn to turn it into a victory? Did you love them every single day, even when you didn't like their behavior? If you say yes to some or all of these you have succeded!


No method is perfect, all are like walking a tight rope...you go too far to one side and you may hurt their heart. And that is to be avoided, because that will make them resent you. And if you go too far to the other, and they will never take you seriously. We have over half of their lives to be their friend. They will love you more, and appreciate you more, for being strong enough to discipline them while you still could.

I'm syndicated now!

Hello all, some of you already know that I now have a facbook page. If you would like come and join party! Can't wait to see you there!

USN

24

24 years...yes, that is how old I am as of Friday. May 20,2011 at 2:02am I officially was one year older!

this time last year I was about pregnant with this handsome man...we didn't even know that he was a HE yet :-). Now, he's a happy 5 month old, who thinks that all is not right in the world unless mommy or daddy are holding him. Yes, I guess we are now trained....but I love the fact that he wants to cuddle!

And this handsome man has grown as well. He is now a self-sufficient 21 month old. Well, he thinks he can do everything anyway. If he could say "me do", he would!

My oldest handsome man has now been my love for 4 years. He met me right after I turned 20....it really doesn't seem that long! But, in our 4th year he did something he has never done before....

He bought me REAL flowers! He doesn't like to give me gifts that won't be here in a month, so when he has gotten me flowers before they have been those wooden roses...I love those too, but he bought me daisies. I LOVE DAISIES!!!!

AND, for the first time since we have met he was WITH me for my birthday!!! This is the big one. The first year we were too far apart for him to be with me on that day, our first year of marriage he was TDY, our second year of marriage he left for tech school 7 days before my birthday, so...this was a special day!!! Thank You hunee!

Full

Recently our life has been FULL....full of little annoyances, and fun times too...full of people...full of kids...full of learning and teaching...and full of confusion.

Now, full is not bad, It's just a different way of being. We went from it being just the 4 of us, to sometimes having a full house. We have found out who care for us as a result. And that is an answer to a prayer of nearly 3 years!

My husband and I have also learned that our teamwork really does make us unique. We are not perfect, but we are a match and absolutely meant to be. His strength takes up where my own gives out and I do the same for him. We have found out that we are strong together...what a gift it is to know that he completes me!

Our Full life, recently, has brought some challenging times. We each have had our moments of feeling like we couldn't do what we hoped, but we grown together much more, and discovered that we can. Challenges shouldn't be scary, I've discovered they make for the most rewarding of adventures.

So, here's to every glass being half-full....because empty is just that, empty, and I don't look at our journey that way. We won't get rich off of it, but some rewards are greater!

They Found Me!

Children are BLOODHOUNDS! I go to the bathroom, my bedroom, their room...any room where they are not, and within about 60 seconds I hear them running to the place where I am. They never seem to hesitate, it's as if they somehow know exactly where I am!

I swear that the minute that baby implants in your uterus that there must be a tracking device that comes with it....for them to find you, not the other way around of course! And heaven forbid if you shut the bathroom door so that you don't have an audience! That bathroom is a black hole, to a toddler, and they think it will suck you into the next universe, never to be found again.

I guess I should be flattered that they care so much about me, but I'm not used to it yet. The bringing me toys to "play" with while I'm in the bathroom will take some getting used to. But by the time I get used to it they will probably be over this phase in their lives, and I will wish that they would go back to it.

If only this worked both ways, and it was so easy for us to fine THEM sometimes :-).

All About Me

Day 3, WHOOPIE! Of the Wives of Faith Blog Carnival. The third, and final, but I am looking foreward to doing this again next year! Today they asked us to write, "11 amazing facts about yourself", so here I go....

....I am an Identical twin, I guess this classifies as amazing since my mom didn't find out that she had 2 coming and not just 1 until she was 7 months pregnant with us.

....I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE cloth diapers! I'm no "hippie" by any means, and no I didn't do it to go green. I did it because I want to do things the old-fashioned way. It wasn't broken in my mom's time....and I didn't want to "fix" it. Bonus: we found out our oldest has reactions to the fragrance in disposbales anyway!

....I am a blonde with hazel eyes, and black eyebrows and lashes! Most people have the "blonde hair and blues eyes" stuck in their brains, and never stop to actually look and see if that's what I have. It makes me laugh.

....I have a thing for making yeast breads. I make our bread at home, and my husband LOVES it!

....I make our laundry detergent, again this is because our oldest is allergic to detergent. He even reacts to free and clear kinds! We have kept him diaper rash free since we figured this out, YEAH!

....My husband is the best support I have! When I tell him my kooky ideas, like cloth diapers or making detergent, he smiles and says, "go for it luv"...ya, I know he's kinda awesome!

....My husband got to deliver both of our boys. In the hospital...don't worry :-). And I know this has a lot to do with him, but I think it counts because I was pushing, while he was waiting to catch them, right? How many men can say they got this opportunity twice, or that they even want to do that? We tend to see men go a little "green" when he tells them.

....I am passionate about my marriage! If you read my blog, you will see that I talk about it a lot. It's not perfect, but its OURS! In the short time that I have been a wife, I have seen a lot of marriages start and stop. It breaks my heart that 50 years of marriage is such a rarity, my prayer is that this will become the "norm" in my lifetime.

....I love kids! Yes, I have two of my own...but I have many more that I consider mine in some way.

....I love to cook, but I REALLY don't like to do dishes! Strange, huh? My husband and I double team this because he knows how much I dislike it. He washes, or loads the dishwasher, and I put away. See, why I love this man?

....I am proud to be a military wife! I know this may seem rather ordinary, but I have met military wives who are not, so I feel that it's important to include it in my list.

I know you wanted amazing facts, and I guess I gave you what I believe makes me "special" because I don't really consider myself amazing....I'm just me! Someone who speaks her mind, sometimes too often...who loves her 3 handsome men, and wants to be the wife God intended her to be!