Car Date Night

Oklahoma is at its best again. We are supposed to be watching the horizon...and the news...for bad weather. Did I mention that tornado season can give you some serious anxiety problems? No true storm shelter, and a closet for 5 people..yep it kind of freaks me out.

Last night was the start of our three day weather watch this week, and it was actually very eventful. We actually lost power for about 3 hours! With all of the wind and hail you would think that power loss was common. Nope, the last time we lost power our 3 1/2 year old was under 6mo. Power loss with kids is always eventful.

Out of our children he was the most alarmed by this. He kept asking us to turn the lights on, and when we said they weren't working he would put on his drama king voice and say "oh no, that's terrible!" Bedtime was early in our house for little ones.

What do mom and dad do in the dark at 6:30pm? We made our own drive-in date night in the car. Oh yes, be jealous, we watched MIB3 on the dvd in the van. We have an outlet in the car, and tried to hook up our laptop in the house, but technical difficulties prevented this, so car it is. BBQ Baked chips in hand, my drink and his drink. We had a date. I wonder if he even realizes that we had a date at home? I have mentioned using some home date ideas and he didn't think that it would be as "good" as an out of the home date.

It was actually my husband's idea, and it was awesome! I admit it was born out of my comment of," What are we going to do? I have never liked power outages, I get bored." I'm as bad as the kids...What awesome, unplanned adventure have you had lately?

Losing Weight

My husband has started taking weight loss coffee daily for two weeks. It is almost time for his bi-annual PT test, and he's on it to meet the requirements! I don't know his measurements from before, but I do know his 38's looked a little tight around the middle. Weight loss coffee? You probably didn't know there was such a thing, but there is!

Javita has brought two different coffees to the market. Burn + Control which is the weight loss coffee and contains two fantastic herbs, Garcinia Cambogia and Yerba Matte. Both of these have been proven to aid in fat loss all over the world. And the other is Mind + Energy. This is a coffee that gives you an energy boost without the crash later on from other energy supplements, and it increases your mental function at the same time. No weird flavors, no shakes to mix, it's simply coffee!

This was the big selling point for my husband, who would drink 3 pots a day if he let himself. Then you add the weight loss benefits and it's the perfect storm in your cup! Come and visit my page www.myjavita.com/Nicoleburch

Old Glory Flies Again

As my husband's separation date from the Air Force looms on the horizon, I am seeing that he really was made for this lifestyle, though he will leave it sooner than he hoped.

 He is determined...Ask me how long after we started talking when we met online in a Christian chatroom he knew he was going to marry me

He is honorable...he takes responsibility for his shortcomings, and does his best in other areas

He is full of integrity...If you look up integrity, truth is at the heart of it, though the definition in today's military has evolved to suit the needs of the moment, and sometimes not for the better

He's one of my Heros....I know lots of men and women in the military. Some have seen combat, some haven't but they all joined with the promise that if they needed to they would lay down their life. This last weekend he made if very clear to the whole community where his loyalty lies, and for his conviction I am honored to be his wife. Watch my husband as he goes on a personal mission to raise spirits in the best way he knew how.





He spent the day helping people and serving. Exactly what he loves to do. He told me before he left to go there for the day, "I may never have gotten to deploy, but this is just as important!" And I agree, this mattered to these people. If you listen to the men as they hoist the flag, there is someone in the background who likens the raising to that of the men at Iwo Jima. It may not be international, it may not have come from bombs being dropped, but a destructive force shook this land and the lives of the people who call it home. This is a symbol of hope, home, and security in the midst of some of the most trying days of their lives.

Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of red, white and blue waving in the Oklahoma wind to lift spirits....

Really Remember

This memorial day it has finally hit me. This day is about the past, not the present. Past wars, past military, those who died on the battle field, and those who died at home that have served. It's a day to remember friends and relatives that most of us have never heard or thought about.

We watched a video about Memorial Day at church yesterday, and somewhere between my military wife's heart and my woman's heart I started to cry. I can't even hear the national anthem anymore without crying. I know what sacrifice made that song a reality. I know what families go through with the military at the forefront.

What do people sacrifice when someone serves? Time! Schedules. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Births. Holidays. Graduation. And for those who sacrifice the most, their family member who is serving. Should they expect to have to sacrifice to that extent? No, the odds are in their favor to not be attending a funeral. Should they worry about it happening anyway? No, I don't think so.

What is today? A day for those who sacrificed the most. A day to mourn. A day to remember. A day to know that they are not alone in their memories, that a nation sees the sacrifice. At least it is supposed to be...

It has been turned into what one person called "national grilling and camping day". I don't think that most really understand. Oh, and don't forget it's also a long weekend where people will spend a lot of time drinking. Somehow we have lost our way.

I am asking you to remember today....put down your drink, put down your picnic supplies, wait on your burgers and hot dogs, and really remember! Yes, the past will always be there, and we can't bring them back. But, they deserve a moment of time from those of us basking in our freedoms today. Happy Memorial Day!

Picture from garyvarvel.com

Girlhood Made Simple

This weekend I got brave. I decided I was ready for the blonde grow-out on my hair to be cut off. I don't normally get my hair cut here in OK. I wait until we visit my twin sister in MT who is a hairdresser. My routine is about 6-12 months between hair cuts. I know that is not great for my hair. I know I need to get it done more often. But, it's twice the price for me to get my hair cut than it is for my husband and sons, and they need it more often.

I started growing my hair out about 11 months ago. I decided that I was going to go natural, and try to grow my hair a little longer again. I am doing this for my daughter.

I don't want her to see me dying my hair every 6-8 weeks and to feel that she has to do that in order to be or feel pretty. I want her to see her daddy loving me the way I am, and to see me loving myself the way I am too. I think this is really important for her.

I see 8yr old girls with dyed hair. I see them with what I would consider adult hair cuts, and I am sad. I don't care how long my daughter's hair is, I just don't want her to spend so much time on it that she doesn't have time to be a little girl. I think we've lost that, our little girls being little girls.

How do we cultivate this in our daughters? Is it by home making training, and doing the dishes at every meal? No, I don't think so. Is it by sending her to ballet and cheerleading for toddlers? Certainly not, in my opinion. Is it by making her wear dresses, or girly colored clothing with glitter and Barbie on it? No. I think that girlhood is simple. Simple hair, simple clothing that covers her body, simple colors. Girlhood is just simple.

I think that we complicate this time. Wishing it away by pushing for them to grow up faster than they are capable of. We think they need dancing and glamour because we wish we could have had those things when we were little, but even our moms knew we didn't need it.

My mom had three daughters. I don't remember her ever dying her hair, until her daughter became a hairdresser and wanted to see if she would like it. I don't remember her doing really complicated make up, though she wore some every day. Her hair was flattering, and she did enjoy her perms and hairspray in our younger years. She dressed her age, and wore flatter shoes, and rarely a heel. She grew up simply, and raised us the same. We could play with her eye shadow, blush, and mascara on Saturdays with her. But, it had to come off before we left the house. No heels over 1/2 inch. No brightly colored nail polish, only neutrals.

We had certain womanly milestones that she determined. The summer before 7th grade we got to start wearing make up if we chose to. She even threw us a birthday party, and brought a family friend show us how to put it on appropriately. This was the time that we were also allowed to wear bright colors of nail polish. The same summer we got to start wearing heels over 1/2 and inch. Our 13th birthday was when we got to have our second ear piercing if we wanted to.  Shaving didn't happen until we turned 13 either. So, I guess 12 and 13 were our years for growing up a bit in certain ways. I think this was brilliant.

I admit that I gave in and painted my newborn's toe nails, but in my own defense she won't remember it and it was a light pink color. But, after telling my husband of our style as little girls and how my mom determined what age things were appropriate he is on board with this for our little girl. I am so glad!

Now I  know that people don't see this the same way that I do, but this is what I grew up with and I think that it will benefit our daughter greatly to have a similar upbringing. Isn't she beautiful!

 

 

F...What?

Confused by my title? Last night in the area where I live a tornado that ripped through towns, and missed us by only 10 miles left a mark on this state. It hit homes, schools, and hospitals. But, the death toll stands this morning at 51. 20 were children. They are waiting on confirmation, but the consensus is that it was an F5.

F5. This puts fear into anyone who hears it. This, according to the movie "twister" is so destructive they called it the Finger of God. Miles and miles of rubble, and if you look from above you can see a distinct line between the edge of the destructive force and everyone/everything that was barely missed. This is what you have to be underground for.

Almost 5 years ago I married my husband and moved to tornado alley. I had never imagined what a scary time it would be during tornado season, but it's terrifying! One little closet, and the 5 of us. This is not uncommon shelter here, and I believe that needs to change, especially for the schools. The children who died yesterday were kept at school and their parents, even if they weren't inclined to come and get them, were kept from because the rules state that no child gets removed from the school for any reason once the county is in a tornado watch. And they must stay there until the threat is past. The idea is that it is safer for them there than if they leave. Safer. Safer that those children took shelter in a hallway of a school, instead of a closet or a tornado shelter in their own home? Living here we all know that small spaces save lives, and underground is ideal.

I have seen, in the last 12 hours, the generosity of an area that I have felt was not overly friendly. There was a line, a LINE of headlights shown on the news last night of people waiting in the dark to make donations. People are giving up space in their homes and lives to help those who have been displaced. And the out pouring has not stopped.

You want to cry. For the people who won't see their babies or their friends and families again. For the people who lost everything including their home.

Then you want to thank God. That your family is safe. Your house is still standing. We were very fortunate. The storm passed us by mere miles. I may not always like this place, but it has been my home and the place where our children were born.

If you pray, do so for Oklahoma. This was the culmination of two days of storms. There will be a long road ahead for many here.

26, and an Unexpected Blessing

Today my new number is 26. I am now over my mid-twenties. But, as with my birthdays the last 5 years it doesn't really feel like my birthday.

I am an identical twin and in my head I always think "our birthday", so celebrating without my siter here has never been fun for me. But, the last time I felt like my birthday was actually celebrated was several years ago.

Today my husband got up for work at 5am. Got ready, and came back to say good bye...no "happy birthday". This is not the first time, the second time, the third time, or the 4th time that those words came from someone other than him first. But, I am trying to change my reaction to this, because it hurts.

My first instinct is to be really angry because I make such efforts for everyone else on their birthday, but that doesn't create peace in our home. It makes him angry that I am so angry, and then we argue. So, this morning I spent time looking for verses in the bible to pray during the day that will help stop my anger in its tracks.

Proverbs 10:12- Hatred stirreth up strife: but love covereth all sins (KJV)

Psalms 100:4- Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. (KJV)

Titus 2:3,4,5- The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obeidient to their own husbands, that the word of god be not blasphemed (KJV)

I am trying to pray my way to a more peaceful heart today. and isn't it strange that in our blustery state we have tornadoes on the menu for our weather pleasure. I need to pray a lot today.

As I am writing this my 3 year old just shouted "Happy Birthday!" to me, twice. I haven't talked to anyone, or said anything about today being my birthday out loud. I was just pouring my heart out here trying to keep my frustration at bay. It instantly made me cry. How would my son know that I needed that today? In this very moment I believe that he was impressed by God to say it to me because there was no other way he could have known to say it to me today. Thank you God for talking to my baby and giving me that little encouragement today. I needed it.

Parenting an extra

You imagine motherhood as a girl. The beauty, the contentment, the wonder, the gift. You see the moms at the park smiling in that way they do, as their child giggles and shrieks happily, going to and fro in the swing. You think, "that is how motherhood is going to be", "My son or daughter is going to be happy and wonderful all the time". You may be right, some of the time, but you may get one of those "extra" children.

What do I mean by "extra"? This child needs your extra....
Time...
Patience...
Mercy...
Love...
Grace...
Effort...
Discipline...
Guidance...
Understanding...
Everything...
This child will shape you and your parenting in ways never imagined. All the "you shoulds.." in the world will not apply to him. All the "averages..." will not explain him or categorize him. He will be strong in Will and Character. He will test your every boundary.

I have a son like this. I am this mother I write about, I was that little girl dreaming of the child(ren) I would have and how my parenting would look. I am the one who's childhood thoughts didn't meet with the motherhood I would eventually lead.

He is a puzzle to me. A joy. A mystery unfolding before my eyes. I count him a blessing and a trial in the same breath. And, you may find this a strange admission, he is exhausting! Why did I say that? Because it is true. Am I ungrateful, NO. He is my daily reminder not to look a gift horse in the mouth. He is my gift. I prayed for him. I am not looking for flaws, but I can't say that parenting my "extra" boy is easy. And, I think that we tend to only notice those around us who have easy children.

I don't look at the peaceful kids with their parents at the park. I look for the moms with a little "extra" on their plate. I don't pity them. I don't assume that they must be doing something wrong. I just sit and watch with the empathy in my heart and the knowledge that I am parenting an "extra" too.

We don't need advice or sympathy. We certainly don't need pity. We just need encouragement and hope that someday our "extra" will be blessed by our efforts in their youth. And know that they were loved in the midst of their extra needs.

I admit that I wrote this post in an attitude of frustration and anger. I was having a hard time with my son today, and I needed to put my thoughts in order. To remind myself that this is just today, and tomorrow will come. My thoughts were transformed into this. There will be hard days, but choose to take a moment. Write, read, breathe. Just like I have discovered myself, you were meant to do this and to be this little person's mother.

My New Home



I have been wrestling with the idea of moving my blog for several months. As of the fall I will no longer be a military wife, I will be a retired military member's wife.

He has been in the military since I met him 7 years ago, and this new adventure is proving to be challenging and scary at the same time. I may have to leave the home for the workforce.

I have always felt that I needed to be the one to raise our children, and my husband was very pleased with my conviction because he echoed it. Now, he will be going to school full time in order to get a degree that will make it more possible to take care of our family the way he wants to. I have recently started a home based venture, and I am so excited that I will be able to share it with you every now and then, It is a product called Javita and it is fantastic! Tastes great and it works!

Someone told me that I am being really calm about all of this uncertainty, but I guess that would be the appearance on the outside. Inside I am screaming and wanting to just sit still until all the details are ironed out, but I have been not-so-gently reminded that growth can only happen if I move forward too. Growing pains, right?

I have the potential to drown in all of this, but I am making a concious choice daily to be led. It's like watching the difference between a trained dog and a puppy. One painstakingly dragging and fight to go where they think they should, when they are supposed to go the other way, then you see the other one moving in sync and they appear much happier. I want to be that one. Led, content, at peace with their leader and knowing that they would never take them somewhere they would not prosper.

Prosperity? Is this important? I think the answer would suprise us all, and I will work on a post about that soon.

So, welcome! Welcome to my new blog, I hope it is a place that you can enjoy.