....and then fill in the blank..
....come to me when I ask you to
....put your toys in the bucket
....take no-thank-you bites of food I know you don't care for
....go lay in bed, when I ask, because I shouldn't have to Chase you
....use your big boy words
....drink water
....speak nicely to me
All of these I have used on my (this Saturday) 2 yr old son. And you know what? He gets a big grin on his face, and claps for himself. I almost think these phrases matter more to him than "yeah" or "good job"....and since I tend not to use "good" and "bad" as descriptions for him because I don't want him to confuse the behavior with HIM....this is how I show our little boy I'm proud of him and his actions.
...oh, and it works on husbands too ;-)
I strive to think of what I say to my children before I say it. And I think that encouragement can be an even greater reward than a gift. And I'm happy to say that this has served me, and my husband, well in our short parenting journey. We have a very secure toddler, who knows he is loved very much. He also has a healthy dose of pride in his efforts...not merely out of vanity...but because he knows that we stand behind his efforts wether they are completely successful or not.
Showing your children you are proud of them is less important than actually telling them. You are not fanning their ego! Ego and healthy pride are mutually exclusive when in the right balance....so give it a little try. pick something ordinary...one of those little victories, and tell your child, or your husband, that you are proud of THEM!
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