Real Love

I remember asking my mom when I was dating my husband, "Do you think I'm in Love?" Obviously, never having a boyfriend or a crush that I could recall, I really had no idea what love should feel like. Eventually, as Mothers have forever I would imagine, she answered, "yes, I think you are", and that made me more sure of myself. I knew I loved him, but I wanted her opinion as I did then and do now.

I have looked at marriages around me rise and fall. The tiniest bit of a bad wind and POOF whatever love they thought they had evaporated like the air trapped in a disturbed souffle. And it has made me wonder if my own love was a true love, or was it just not tested by fire yet.

My fire has come, and you know what I discovered? I love my husband! I love him when I'm happy with him, I love him when I am so hurt that I feel ovewhealmed by it. I love him when he deserves it, and I love him when he doesn't.

We all know this verse:  

This is the outline that we look to for marriage, and it is a very great explaination of Love. But, I have added my own extention based on my marriage...

Real love leaves its dreams and never looks back. It fights with everything it has to the end! And it forgives, even hurts so deep you think you couldn't possibly. It dreams of the future, but learns from the past. And it doesn't seek vengence, but chooses to impart grace. It looks for the little things, and then praises them for the tiny miracles they are.

I know now that the love I feel for my husband is Real Love!

Taking it Back!

Our church has been talking about taking back what has been stolen from you by the devil. It could be a relationship, a vice, your faith, and maybe even your heart. Claiming the thing that was stolen in Jesus name and taking it back! So, today I declare that I am taking it back!

  I am taking back the scattered pieces of my heart. And, I give them back to my #1 and my #2 just as it was intended to be.

I am taking back my faith, I WILL have faith that God knew exactly what he was doing from the moment I was concieved. I believe that He is leading me even now to do the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.

I am taking back my family. There are many things that have tried to work towards tearing us apart recently, and I refuse to let it go. It is mine!

I am taking back my love. I will not let my fears keep me from loving.

I am taking back my JOY. My mom told my twin sister once to "find her joy" when we were in high school, and she did just that...I think its time I do that myself.

There are seasons according to the bible. Sowing, and reaping. Right now I believe our family is in a sowing time. Planting the seeds of faith, trust, love, grace, peace, forgiveness, patience, long-suffering, and understanding. We are growing in some ways, but waiting in others. And, I know with a certainty that doesn't come from myself that when we reap this harvest it will surpass our wildest dreams.

Don't ever be afraid to take back what the devil has stolen....everything he has, he took from you!

Cherish the Moment

Yesterday my little firecracker was sick. Woke up bouncy and shortly came to me asking me to kiss his ear because it hurt. It was when he had done this repeatedly, and started crying that I knew it was an ear infection and it wasn't going to wait. We called the doctor and daddy.

Firecracker is my oldest, at 3, and he's big! He's in size 5/6 for the length, and yesterday was weighed at 47 pounds. And when he is exhausted or sick he's the one that needs to be rocked. And, I don't usually rock the babies to get them to sleep, unless they are sick. So, there I was in a chair at the doctor rocking my big boy.

It dawned on me while I was waiting that time is moving so fast. I won't be able to call these little people my babies much longer, and he's only going to get bigger. In that moment I resolved to cherish those little things that I won't get to do for much longer. Rocking them, kissing them...eew mom!, dancing in the livingroom to the power ranger theme song for the thousandth time.

Parenthood is such a busy time initially, and its not uncommon to feel it pass in a blur. But, we all need to let the dishes sit for a minute, let the little ones use the laundry as their own personal pile if leaves every once in a while. It isn't making a mess as my friend says, it's making memories!

Memories that will last, and encourage them well into their adult lives. And maybe someday when they have kids they will be able to pull out the memory and do the same things with their babies. Cherish your moments together! Have flour fights, jump in the mud, make piles out of laundry and jump in, and dance with your babies when they ask....you're making important memories.

 

 

 



A Real Military Spouse

I am up. Its almost 3am here, and I am sick and can't sleep. I can't tell though if it's because I feel compelled to write this blog post, or that I have insomnia tonight.

I have gotten several links today to vote for this year's military spouse of the year. Each of the links were of people that I am proud to say I know personally. Each one has made sacrifices, and supported their soldier and others. And I hope that one of them win.

I know that this is just my own thought, but sometimes I don't feel like a real military spouse. My husband has never deployed. I have never been asked to be a key spouse. I don't participate in spouse events because my husband has our only car at work with him when they are all scheduled. We don't live on base. We have gotten orders, but they have always been cancelled for one reason or another, so no PCS either.

How do we define a REAL military spouse? Distance, time, location, works? This life is so competitive. Our military men and women compete for rank, and the best places to move to, and here we are trying to measure our own worth by those around us.

I know my value as a mother, wife, daughter, and sister. But, I am the only one close to me who has an active duty husband. So, I guess that I get to decide what makes me a real military wife.

I have moved across the country, not to mention out of my parents house, to be with the man I love. I have known the fear of possibly giving birth on my own. I have seen my soldier walk away, knowing it was not a normal day and he would be gone for only a few weeks. I have argued with finance because they messed up our pay. I have celebrated my birthday by myself more than once. I have been to every PT test I can because he needs my support. I have packed a mobility bag, and put all of my husband's uniforms together when he wasn't at home...and I say, I am a REAL military spouse because I married my soldier!

You don't need an award, or to be nominated for one. You don't need to have been through a deployment. You don't need to move to Japan. If you have been married to your soldier for 1 second, you ARE a real military wife!

2013

Today marks the first full week of 2013. I can't believe 2012 went by so fast!

I gave birth to our first daughter, and third child, in March. My grandpa died in June, and my husband's grandpa died a month later. Our oldest turned 3, OH where does the time go? And, our youngest son turned 2 on the day that the Myans thought the world would end....We knew we were either going out, or going on, eating birthday cake!

2013 has already proven to be off to a wonderful, and quirky start. I am here in Virginia with our three children, staying with my in-laws, so that I can take a class. My husband had to leave VA and go back to Oklahoma and get back to the military. At this point, my class which was supposed to have been started yesterday if things had gotten ironed out by the school, is now in limbo. I have no idea how long it's going to be until we go back to OK. My husband is dealing well, but he has already said that this is one of the hardest things he has had to do. Our babies and myself are doing about as well has he is with this situation, but I guess we have it easier since we have his dad and step mom as support, and he's all alone.

His birthday is Valentine's day. This is the first one I will not be with him since we met, and I am going to act as if he is deployed and go with a care package theme. So, some deployment goodies and ideas may be showing up on the blog, with links to other things that have caught my eye in the next couple weeks.

I also have our daughter's first birthday to plan. If Daddy can't be here we may have to do something when he finally gets here; it's only the first birthday, she's never going to notice that it may be a tad bit late. My little Pepper is going to be a big girl! And this will mark the longest I have not been pregnant since our marriage in 2008.

In honor of my un-impregnated state I am going to try to work my booty off. I finally got some answers on my thyroid, so I won't have that little organ holding my fat cells hostage anymore...bye, bye! I really want some super cute pics the next time we have a baby, all baby and NO momma belly. Please pray for me.

Our oldest son will have some homeschooling goals to help prepare him for kindergarten, we will be working with phonics and penmanship this year. We have not pursued much beyond the goals I had set for him this year because he met them all by Christmas. He's my little smarty pants, I am a proud momma. And our youngest son is going to begin his homeschool preschool journey this year as well. I can't wait to see my babies around the table together working on their lesson for the day!

On top of all of this I will be working on my quiet time, and being consistent with that. I need my babies to see their mom making time for God every day.

2013 is going to be AWESOME!

The Shooting

Our world is changing. The weather is turning, and so are the people. Brother against brother, Son against father...and today the innocent got caught in the path.
As a mother I grieve for those parents. It's a pain that I hope to never feel, the death of a child. I've had miscarriages, but this is a different sort of loss. To lose someone who you had entrusted someone else to keep safe, and it has further made our decision about our childrens education to be at home. I know that it is not that simple for most, but our choice has been validated again today.

I know that Accidents happen, and we can't protect our children from everything, but we are all asking the question, "what kind of a person takes the lives of so many young children?" It is a vaild and complex question. There will be lots of people delving into his "mind" before the shooting, but really he is and was the only person who can understand where his heart and mind were at the time.

I know that compassion for the gunman is never our first reaction, but I am going to remind those of us who know grace to find a little for this man who obviously had some tremendous hurt. Hurt that shut out the instinct to protect these babies and compelled him to see them as one of his targets. Obviously he did not know true grace, for where there is grace mercy comes naturally.


I have also heard that this man took his own parents lives today too, first his father and then his mother. Pray for their parents if they are still living, I suspect if they are that the guilt, no matter that they didn't do any of this, is probably crippling. And, they will be hounded for any information by everyone under the sun. Their privacy and right to mourn their losses will be stripped from them because the people want answers.

To the parents of the little ones who went to heaven today, I won't say "I'm sorry for your loss" as it seems that is what people say without even thinking about it. Me, I want to think about what to say to you, and make it mean something more....I can't feel the pain that you feel, but I pray that you will find something in the near future that will start to cultivate peace about this situation into your life. Your babies left this world too soon, but they are in the arms of someone who will love them until you can see them again.

To the rest of us...Hug your babies when they get home from school today. And if they ask what happened, just remind them that only hearts full of grace can really forgive people, and that Satan wants us to hate this man, and that gives us every reason not to.

Minute Mom

Today, for the third time in two weeks, we went out as a family and someone stopped by our table and told me that my children were wonderfully well behaved. They have NO IDEA how much I have needed to hear that!

Our Firecracker is a very emotional 3 year old who wears 5T pants, for the lenth. You can imagine that he has some stopping power when he doesn't want to go somewhere, and sometimes a temper to match. I spent most of my childhood and teens working with children and he is a puzzle to me in many ways. He throws tantrums, with his whole body sometimes, and doesn't like to sit still very often. He is my challenge and his brother and sister tend to get swept along with us during the more difficult moments. But, I have been trying to work on changing how I do things and see what happened.... I had read on someone's blog that she couldn't remember her mother ever saying "just a minute", or "be there in a sec". This was something that I could hear myself saying a lot, especially to my Firecracker. He would want to show me something, and I would say "in a minute", and then he would move on to something else and I would never come see what he wanted to show me. I decided, that I didn't want to be the Minute mom. I din't want the only thing they could remember me saying was something like that. I realize that we are not always available, but I am going to try my best to be there for every moment I can be. This change I made has come about in the last couple weeks, and I think it has something to do with his new attitude. Do you ever find yourself saying these things a lot? We all do it, but I would challenge you to change your method and see what comes of it. Attention can change a child, and the change is dependant on the attention they are given. Make it good meaningful, and as fun as you can and you might just see their little hearts change in front of your eyes.