I moved from my home when I was 19, and became a live-in nanny for two years. Met my soldier, and got married 3mo after I stopped nannying. And we have been at a base over 1000 miles from any family for almost 4 years.
If we want to see them....we DRIVE! Yes, some of the family from both sides have come to our house and I am very thankful that they feel we were important enough to visit. But, I guess things change.
I talked to one of my family today about my husband possibly deploying within the next 12mo. She was a military spouse, and I appreciate her years of experience, but she REALLY hurt me today!
She told me that she thought my kids and my presence would be a strain on someone else's marriage and potentially my relationships with them and a few other people....WHAT!
I never thought that I was a burden or a sponge before...but I guess I am. I refuse to go where my kids and I are not wanted and even though she was "very sorry she hurt my feelings", there are some things that you say or imply that cannot be undone.
She talked about how having her mother come live with them when they were in the military was such a blessing because she watched the kids, as if I would somehow see how that made her a burden, but that it got harder as her health started failing....no CRAP! People get old!
I am 25, I have three kids 3 and under...but I am not going to make other people watch my kids. I will pay people to do it that WANT to!
I guess, as it seems right now, I only have two options. 1-stay here and be alone with my babies for 6 or 7 mo OR 2- Ask my in-laws if they feel that we would be a burden if we stayed with them. I have never felt more unloved by anyone in my whole life!
How do you go from being wanted to being unwanted when you aren't even around these people but once a year?
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