I moved from my home when I was 19, and became a live-in nanny for two years. Met my soldier, and got married 3mo after I stopped nannying. And we have been at a base over 1000 miles from any family for almost 4 years.
If we want to see them....we DRIVE! Yes, some of the family from both sides have come to our house and I am very thankful that they feel we were important enough to visit. But, I guess things change.
I talked to one of my family today about my husband possibly deploying within the next 12mo. She was a military spouse, and I appreciate her years of experience, but she REALLY hurt me today!
She told me that she thought my kids and my presence would be a strain on someone else's marriage and potentially my relationships with them and a few other people....WHAT!
I never thought that I was a burden or a sponge before...but I guess I am. I refuse to go where my kids and I are not wanted and even though she was "very sorry she hurt my feelings", there are some things that you say or imply that cannot be undone.
She talked about how having her mother come live with them when they were in the military was such a blessing because she watched the kids, as if I would somehow see how that made her a burden, but that it got harder as her health started failing....no CRAP! People get old!
I am 25, I have three kids 3 and under...but I am not going to make other people watch my kids. I will pay people to do it that WANT to!
I guess, as it seems right now, I only have two options. 1-stay here and be alone with my babies for 6 or 7 mo OR 2- Ask my in-laws if they feel that we would be a burden if we stayed with them. I have never felt more unloved by anyone in my whole life!
How do you go from being wanted to being unwanted when you aren't even around these people but once a year?
Monday, September 10, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Our Share
For a while now I have felt that I couldn't write about marriage because, honestly, things were quite rough. I know that there are ups and downs to married life, and that working along our hills and valleys is what we are to do....
I was angry, hurt, and at times very defiant. No, I don't have to "obey" like some child. Yes, I need to hear my husband when he is telling me things I don't want to hear. And, yes, some of this does fall to him as well...but I have to own my own.
Our church has been having an on-going 5 week series on marriage. And, as I believe God designs things, it coincincided with our little bump in the road. 5 weeks: Seek God, Fight Fair, Have Fun, Stay Pure, Never Give Up. We are headed into the final week.
I would encourage you to look up our church's video feeds for these sermons...they were quite awesome. He lays it all out, and isn't afraid to let you know...he knows what goes on behind closed doors...
I was angry, hurt, and at times very defiant. No, I don't have to "obey" like some child. Yes, I need to hear my husband when he is telling me things I don't want to hear. And, yes, some of this does fall to him as well...but I have to own my own.
Our church has been having an on-going 5 week series on marriage. And, as I believe God designs things, it coincincided with our little bump in the road. 5 weeks: Seek God, Fight Fair, Have Fun, Stay Pure, Never Give Up. We are headed into the final week.
I would encourage you to look up our church's video feeds for these sermons...they were quite awesome. He lays it all out, and isn't afraid to let you know...he knows what goes on behind closed doors...
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Could I?
One of the Facebook pages I am on has a weekly photo contest. This week is "most popular pregnant belly pic". So, I loved my belly pics and I am very happy to share!
I have to say, they are all wonderful! One woman bore a striking resemblance to Dora the Explorer, haircut an all so her husband had her dress up as a VERY pregnant "Dora" with "Backpack" and all. One woman never got to see her belly grow, but adopted her precious one, and took a picture with the ultrasound photo she got confirming her baby's gender held up next to her belly...it was a really touching picture. Then, there was a simple picture of a mother pregnant, holding her youngest and pregnant with another of her children next to her.
I met this woman when I first got to this base. She has 5 children, All had very exciting birth stories. And we had not seen much of eachother for a couple years.
In the time we have been apart, her oldest daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of epilepsy that is slowly causing mental illness. And, just last week she posted that her baby had 17 seizures in one night...Lord, be with that precious child! And her husband is deployed again!
I see her posts daily...uplifting, kind, and full of hope. Hope for a cure for her daughter, and hope that God will bless her with strength for her other babies too while her husband is gone. I wonder, could I be like her if that were my situation?
Could I be full of faith, and not doubt? Happy and not sad? Accepting and not spiteful? I honestly don't know.
I know we adapt to our situations, and I know that I would find it in me. But, I hope that this woman knows what an inspriation she is to people...she is to me!
I have to say, they are all wonderful! One woman bore a striking resemblance to Dora the Explorer, haircut an all so her husband had her dress up as a VERY pregnant "Dora" with "Backpack" and all. One woman never got to see her belly grow, but adopted her precious one, and took a picture with the ultrasound photo she got confirming her baby's gender held up next to her belly...it was a really touching picture. Then, there was a simple picture of a mother pregnant, holding her youngest and pregnant with another of her children next to her.
I met this woman when I first got to this base. She has 5 children, All had very exciting birth stories. And we had not seen much of eachother for a couple years.
In the time we have been apart, her oldest daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of epilepsy that is slowly causing mental illness. And, just last week she posted that her baby had 17 seizures in one night...Lord, be with that precious child! And her husband is deployed again!
I see her posts daily...uplifting, kind, and full of hope. Hope for a cure for her daughter, and hope that God will bless her with strength for her other babies too while her husband is gone. I wonder, could I be like her if that were my situation?
Could I be full of faith, and not doubt? Happy and not sad? Accepting and not spiteful? I honestly don't know.
I know we adapt to our situations, and I know that I would find it in me. But, I hope that this woman knows what an inspriation she is to people...she is to me!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
It just hit...
It's Saturday night...we've done our grocery shopping...our babies are all in bed and should be sleeping (should right?)...and here I am working on my baby's preschool curriculum!
My baby, my first one anyway. A week from Monday this wonderfully silly, rambunctious little man is going to not only start his first day of Preschool...he's going to be 3!
He's now potty trained, he can count to 19(even though there is no 16 when he does, and I love him for it), he asks questions like "what doing mommy" and if I say OW he says "ok mommy?". My sweet BIG-little man is growing up!
It's there and gone so fast! And it hits you at the strangest moments. The time we have to teach and watch our kids is fleeting. I know he's only going to be 3, and he's still technically a baby...he will always be MY baby...but I feel like I want time to slow down.
I want to savor this time and file it away for the times when he doesn't like me very much and tells me all about it....the times that I have to slow him down because he's trying to "grow up" too fast.
I am so excited watching this little boy grow....and I am so curious about the man he will become. But, it is only his third year...I get to keep my little boy a little bit longer. Cherish your babies, pray about the men and women they are going to become, let them get dirty and make mistakes...but enjoy it while it lasts!
My baby, my first one anyway. A week from Monday this wonderfully silly, rambunctious little man is going to not only start his first day of Preschool...he's going to be 3!
He's now potty trained, he can count to 19(even though there is no 16 when he does, and I love him for it), he asks questions like "what doing mommy" and if I say OW he says "ok mommy?". My sweet BIG-little man is growing up!
It's there and gone so fast! And it hits you at the strangest moments. The time we have to teach and watch our kids is fleeting. I know he's only going to be 3, and he's still technically a baby...he will always be MY baby...but I feel like I want time to slow down.
I want to savor this time and file it away for the times when he doesn't like me very much and tells me all about it....the times that I have to slow him down because he's trying to "grow up" too fast.
I am so excited watching this little boy grow....and I am so curious about the man he will become. But, it is only his third year...I get to keep my little boy a little bit longer. Cherish your babies, pray about the men and women they are going to become, let them get dirty and make mistakes...but enjoy it while it lasts!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Seeing What You Have
Things are going well for our little family. My hubby has just found out that he's getting promoted...YEAH!...and our babies are growing like weeds. We have had our share of trials recently, but I see a light at the end of this current tunnel.
I follow several military wife facebook pages for our base. Some are for general info, some are for "feel good" comments, but one in particular seems to hold my interest. It's a little like the "real military wives of..." insert our current location. There are anonymous posts about who they know that's doing this or that...posts about how their marriages and family lives are going...and posts about general military questions.
I like being able to give advice. I like seeing that people can be honest and say that not everything is sunny in "paradise". But, then you see the posts about people who got fortunate enough to be stationed in the same city...state...tri-state area...as their family.
They complain about how their family member didn't watch their child so they could do this....or they wouldn't come to their child's important event....
Honestly, I don't feel bad! At no time since I have married my soldier have we been close enough to any of our family to invite them to a birthday party or just go on over to their house because we felt like not being alone that day. We had to tell my in-laws months in advance that we didn't have anybody who could watch our boys while I was in labor with their sister....MONTHS in advance, not weeks or days.
So, here's my comment....You don't know what we would give to be able to have family that was near us! I want our kids to know their family, but so far it's because we have made sure that they see both sides at least once a year...meaning we pack our car and our kids, stop our mail, my husband has to take leave for almost 3 weeks, and we drive! We drive for 36 hours and sometimes more depending on which family we are visiting. And then we drive some more because people have this annoying habit of not wanting to put forth any effort to meet you where it's convienient for you, even though you just made a HUGE trip just to be close enough to even see them before having to meet them at the inconvienient location they picked.
See what you have right next to you! If you get stationed even 8 hours from your family, count your blessings...you could have to drive 36 hours with three kids under 3 and dog! Just a little food for thought.
I follow several military wife facebook pages for our base. Some are for general info, some are for "feel good" comments, but one in particular seems to hold my interest. It's a little like the "real military wives of..." insert our current location. There are anonymous posts about who they know that's doing this or that...posts about how their marriages and family lives are going...and posts about general military questions.
I like being able to give advice. I like seeing that people can be honest and say that not everything is sunny in "paradise". But, then you see the posts about people who got fortunate enough to be stationed in the same city...state...tri-state area...as their family.
They complain about how their family member didn't watch their child so they could do this....or they wouldn't come to their child's important event....
Honestly, I don't feel bad! At no time since I have married my soldier have we been close enough to any of our family to invite them to a birthday party or just go on over to their house because we felt like not being alone that day. We had to tell my in-laws months in advance that we didn't have anybody who could watch our boys while I was in labor with their sister....MONTHS in advance, not weeks or days.
So, here's my comment....You don't know what we would give to be able to have family that was near us! I want our kids to know their family, but so far it's because we have made sure that they see both sides at least once a year...meaning we pack our car and our kids, stop our mail, my husband has to take leave for almost 3 weeks, and we drive! We drive for 36 hours and sometimes more depending on which family we are visiting. And then we drive some more because people have this annoying habit of not wanting to put forth any effort to meet you where it's convienient for you, even though you just made a HUGE trip just to be close enough to even see them before having to meet them at the inconvienient location they picked.
See what you have right next to you! If you get stationed even 8 hours from your family, count your blessings...you could have to drive 36 hours with three kids under 3 and dog! Just a little food for thought.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
"Crunchy" moments
I'm not a "Crunchy" person, but I have my moments. I like my bread made in my own kitchen, and my laundry Detergent too. I am also starting to lean toward the homemade with my families toiletries as well.
Our oldest has developed an allergic reaction to sunscreen, and he can reach every countertop in our home. So, my first two new projects are going to be Homemade sunscreen and the project I did today Remineralizing tooth powder.
I made this for my husband mainly. He gets his dental care through the military so he can go as needed, and he brushes daily. Yet, no matter what he does he still has at least one cavity at his annual check up. Something is not right. Call it "acid erosion", call it weak enamel, something has got to change. So, I went searching.
I found the Remineralizing tooth powder recipe from one of my favorite blogs. And the other research I have done on tooth powder has led me to believe that this might actually help people like my husband, and myself as well, to keep from getting cavities and have healthier teeth and healthier bodies.
The other people I did this for are our babies. Our Big Man is going to be 3 in August, and I think it's time to get rid of the toddler toothpaste. He can reach everything on every counter in our home and I don't want to find him eating a tube of toothpaste and go get his stomach pumped.
Here is the recipe for the tooth powder...and it's safe to eat!
4 Parts Bentonite Clay
1 Part Baking Soda
1/2 part myrrh gum powder
1/2 part ground cloves
1/2 part ground stevia
essential oils of cloves and cinnamon
*substitute Peppermint leaf Powder for the cloves and Peppermint essential oil for the others
So, if we are talking cups.....
1C Bentonite Clay
1/4 C Baking Soda
1/8C myrrh gum powder
1/8C ground cloves
1/8C ground stevia
The people I bought most of the stuff from also told me about Comfry, which can help repair bone. And using xylitol instead of stevia could be beneficial because it has been proven to fight cavities.
I made the Peppermint kind, and added 1/8C or 1/2 part Comfry Powder to the mix. I think it might need slightly more stevia for the kiddos to use it willingly...but I think that is up to you.
Mix all ingredients together in a mason jar and use a spoon or an empty spice container to put it on your toothbrush. Brush as you normally would.
Our oldest has developed an allergic reaction to sunscreen, and he can reach every countertop in our home. So, my first two new projects are going to be Homemade sunscreen and the project I did today Remineralizing tooth powder.
I made this for my husband mainly. He gets his dental care through the military so he can go as needed, and he brushes daily. Yet, no matter what he does he still has at least one cavity at his annual check up. Something is not right. Call it "acid erosion", call it weak enamel, something has got to change. So, I went searching.
I found the Remineralizing tooth powder recipe from one of my favorite blogs. And the other research I have done on tooth powder has led me to believe that this might actually help people like my husband, and myself as well, to keep from getting cavities and have healthier teeth and healthier bodies.
The other people I did this for are our babies. Our Big Man is going to be 3 in August, and I think it's time to get rid of the toddler toothpaste. He can reach everything on every counter in our home and I don't want to find him eating a tube of toothpaste and go get his stomach pumped.
Here is the recipe for the tooth powder...and it's safe to eat!
4 Parts Bentonite Clay
1 Part Baking Soda
1/2 part myrrh gum powder
1/2 part ground cloves
1/2 part ground stevia
essential oils of cloves and cinnamon
*substitute Peppermint leaf Powder for the cloves and Peppermint essential oil for the others
So, if we are talking cups.....
1C Bentonite Clay
1/4 C Baking Soda
1/8C myrrh gum powder
1/8C ground cloves
1/8C ground stevia
The people I bought most of the stuff from also told me about Comfry, which can help repair bone. And using xylitol instead of stevia could be beneficial because it has been proven to fight cavities.
I made the Peppermint kind, and added 1/8C or 1/2 part Comfry Powder to the mix. I think it might need slightly more stevia for the kiddos to use it willingly...but I think that is up to you.
Mix all ingredients together in a mason jar and use a spoon or an empty spice container to put it on your toothbrush. Brush as you normally would.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
A love like...this
Sometimes in a moment of prophesy, or fate as some would think, someone realizes "THAT is my match!" Here is a story of a moment like that...
Gene saw her, across the yard getting on the school bus, and he said out loud, "that is the girl I'm gonna marry!". He had been graduated from the school for a year, but he had stopped by to visit some friends. A small town, where everyone knew eachother, and He didn't know her. Thankfully their friends found his infatuation with Pasty rather cute and helped him come up with a way to spend some time with her. The away game for the basketball team!
The scene was set...plans were put into motion...this poor girl didn't know that her future hinged on this one night! Patsy and her friend had gotten back on the bus after the game, and behold, all the seats except two were full, right next to Gene. Her friend said, "why don't you sit next to gene?", and after weeks of her friends and his trying to get them to go on a date she was NOT interested in sitting next to him. Someone who was 'in' on the plan suddenly found an extra seat for Patsy's friend, and now she was stuck next to HIM! Sleep was the only thing she could think of to escape having to play nice with this boy, so she tried to drift off. What? Why was a hand creeping behind her neck? Why was somone pulling her over to lean on a shoulder? She started and looked at him, "you're gonna get a crik in your neck if you sleep like that"....oh, he thought he was smooth and that made Patsy even more frustrated. Who did he think he was?
Person, by Person, the kids got off the bus. Patsy and the driver lived close, so he was going to drop her by her house and she was almost the last one on the bus. "Mwah!"....Oh my goodness, That Gene-boy just KISSED ME! He had stollen a quick kiss on his way off the bus, and then run like he was on fire, and she thought "he better run!" She was furious! This was 1954, fresh boys like that were not who she wanted to be around.
For a solid year she refused any attempt of their mutual friends to get her to date him. If he would kiss her like that without her permission when they weren't dating, what would he do when they were? Finally, she agreed to go only if her friend doubled with her. After several double dates, her friend told her she was on her own. And she continued to date Gene. Obviously things were going well because they got married July 21st, 1956.
Patsy had just graduated highschool and Gene had joined the Navy. Fastforeward 56 years.... Patsy is being handed a flag and a coin by her grandson-in-law, dressed in Air Force Blues. Gene had died of cancer on June 26th. 56 years, Three children, 5 grandchildren, and 4 (and one on the way) great-grandchildren. 23 years of service to the USA as a spouse and officer. What a LIFE!
I want a love story like this! One that proves that love is a gift, pre-ordained by God before time began. One that shows that it can LAST!
This Man and Woman are my grandparents. Papaw was the best man at my wedding, to my own soldier. Grandmaw taught me all her cooking tricks as a child, and it has served me very well in my own family. They were my "step" grandparents, but they were and are, very real to me! I hope to have such a story, and a legacy to share with my own grandchildren...can you imagine a love like...THIS!
Gene saw her, across the yard getting on the school bus, and he said out loud, "that is the girl I'm gonna marry!". He had been graduated from the school for a year, but he had stopped by to visit some friends. A small town, where everyone knew eachother, and He didn't know her. Thankfully their friends found his infatuation with Pasty rather cute and helped him come up with a way to spend some time with her. The away game for the basketball team!
The scene was set...plans were put into motion...this poor girl didn't know that her future hinged on this one night! Patsy and her friend had gotten back on the bus after the game, and behold, all the seats except two were full, right next to Gene. Her friend said, "why don't you sit next to gene?", and after weeks of her friends and his trying to get them to go on a date she was NOT interested in sitting next to him. Someone who was 'in' on the plan suddenly found an extra seat for Patsy's friend, and now she was stuck next to HIM! Sleep was the only thing she could think of to escape having to play nice with this boy, so she tried to drift off. What? Why was a hand creeping behind her neck? Why was somone pulling her over to lean on a shoulder? She started and looked at him, "you're gonna get a crik in your neck if you sleep like that"....oh, he thought he was smooth and that made Patsy even more frustrated. Who did he think he was?
Person, by Person, the kids got off the bus. Patsy and the driver lived close, so he was going to drop her by her house and she was almost the last one on the bus. "Mwah!"....Oh my goodness, That Gene-boy just KISSED ME! He had stollen a quick kiss on his way off the bus, and then run like he was on fire, and she thought "he better run!" She was furious! This was 1954, fresh boys like that were not who she wanted to be around.
For a solid year she refused any attempt of their mutual friends to get her to date him. If he would kiss her like that without her permission when they weren't dating, what would he do when they were? Finally, she agreed to go only if her friend doubled with her. After several double dates, her friend told her she was on her own. And she continued to date Gene. Obviously things were going well because they got married July 21st, 1956.
Patsy had just graduated highschool and Gene had joined the Navy. Fastforeward 56 years.... Patsy is being handed a flag and a coin by her grandson-in-law, dressed in Air Force Blues. Gene had died of cancer on June 26th. 56 years, Three children, 5 grandchildren, and 4 (and one on the way) great-grandchildren. 23 years of service to the USA as a spouse and officer. What a LIFE!
I want a love story like this! One that proves that love is a gift, pre-ordained by God before time began. One that shows that it can LAST!
This Man and Woman are my grandparents. Papaw was the best man at my wedding, to my own soldier. Grandmaw taught me all her cooking tricks as a child, and it has served me very well in my own family. They were my "step" grandparents, but they were and are, very real to me! I hope to have such a story, and a legacy to share with my own grandchildren...can you imagine a love like...THIS!
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