While we are waiting

Watch ""While I'm Waiting" Music Video- from the movie FIREPROOF" on YouTube

My husband and I are making plans, well praying over them anyway. There isn't much planning that we can do when he isn't officially discharged from the military. No paperwork, no official discharge date.

It's amazing how they expect us to just walk away without a plan. Yes, my husband has briefings he is going to so he knows his "options", but we are going to be set free like a bunch of goats. Thanks for your service, now fend for yourselves.

This is NOT my forte. This drastic change in our lives that we have no control over. No job prospects, no place to live, and here I am with no skills to use to top it off.

I am going to be taking some doula training, which has been within the realm of my dream job for a long time. It's something, but It's not quick. Babies take months, and building a steady stream of ladies who want me takes time too. I have dog grooming training, but not enough hands on experience to do.it on my own. I have a camera, and some decent photography skills, but that is something that takes time too. I'm overwhelmed!

I am following my husband. He knows that he's headed to school. But, that is the beginning and end of what we know right now.

I can feel the anxiety welling up in me. I can see that It's already affecting me, which affects the kids. I know I'm only one prayer of faith away from letting it all fall onto God's shoulders, so why am I not doing it? Why am I allowing this doubt back in when I have seen what miracles He's brought so recently into our family? Why can't I let go?

This is my struggle. I have some tendency to want to control. It may appear to work sometimes, but I know I'm just being fooled.

Every time I look at the circumstances of this time in our life I think of a song from Fireproof. It's called

While I'm Waiting by John Waller:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting

Yes, we are waiting. On direction, on decisions, on timing.

My favorite Place

My favorite place in my house, is my kitchen! I love who I am in this space.

I am confident. I am organized. I am successful more times than not. I am who I really want to be!

I can think of something, and make it, and it turns out. No other place in my life do I feel as accomplished. And, my family benefits from my work there too.

I make our bread, pizzas, tortillas, and any number of other things. I am a baker, a chemist, and a caterer.

I wish I could capture these bits of myself there in a bottle and shake that on myself again when I need it.

How do I make myself this successful elsewhere? Is it the compliments on what I make, or the fact that I have spent a lot of time and energy learning? I really wish I knew.

I am trying to find my confidence again. But, it's going to take some time.

This post has also been linked to the Raising Homemakers Wednesday linkup

Herbal Deodorant

Deodorant. Are you a Secret, Dove, Degree, or Ban person? Regular or Clinical strength? Spray on, roll on, stick or creme in a tube? So many options for something that most of us never think twice about, unless we smell funky.

Me, pregnancy did something to either my nose or my glands, I can sweat through clinical strength Deodorant in a matter of hours!

Sorry if that's TMI, but I am sure that I'm not alone. And, I have found a solution. I made some myself!

There are lots of different "natural" options that still don't work. And still contain things that can irritate skin or have yet to be linked to some disease or another. But, my Herbal recipe has none of those problems!

Shea butter....to firm it up without beeswax.

Coconut oil...antibacterial, moisturising, and it thins the mix just enough.

Bentonite Clay powder...this is a purifying agent, and helps keep you a little drier.

Baking soda....to absorb smell. Can substitute corn starch or arrowroot powder if you have a sensitivity.

30 drops of your favorite essential oil, or mixture of them...I used lavender because I had it on hand.

Melt it and then whip it! I have been applying just a finger full in the morning, and not needing any more than that all day!

Next time I will put it into a Deodorant container of some kind so that I can apply it without having to dig a finger full out of my container.

I haven't had any problem with the clay showing on my skin, or the shea butter or coconut oil ruining my clothes.

If you have ever thought of making your own toiletries, go for it! You may like yours better than anything else you could find.